May 11, 2018

Karate Kid: The animated rant

Well, since I can't watch Cobra Kai, I've been getting my Karate Kid fix by watching the movies... the ones involving Daniel LaRusso, of course... I even played the NES game... it's worse than I remembered.

But there is a small often forgotten Karate Kid media... The Cartoon. We follow Daniel-san, Mr. Miyagi, and some girl looking for a shrine statue... A magical statue. They travel across the world searching and failing. Sufring torpedoes, giving each other thumbs up, and winking at each other...
Because it's animated, you can see some crazy  bullshit that would have been massively cringy in live action.
Miyagi chopping trees with his bare hands, wrestling a crocodile, and Daniel LaRusso running around in a loincloth... now Picture 1980s Ralph Macchiato dressed up as He-Man... Then this dude turned into a Jaguar and stuff... all from a single episodr and I'm here scratching my head wondering: What the Hell did I just watch?

Whatever it was, I can say it was NOT The Karate Kid... it makes the NES game feel more canonical. Miyagi, Daniel, and some girl following a magical item... what part of that feels like the story of a bullied boy who learns martial arts and defeats his tormentors in a tournament and earns the respect of his peers... Hell Sidekicks is more Karate Kid than this.

To be fair, this was an 80s problem. Take a property, keep the star of the properry (and some sode characters)  make a show completely different from the source material and you have a kids cartoon.
Like Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos, Rambo the Force of Freedom, Mr.T, Hulk Hogan Rock n Roll Wrestling...

I could be watching the far superior series Cobra Kai, but nooo! Youtube betrayed me... one day... I WILL watch it, hopefully before the new Season 2 begins. Hell, even the flamimg Will Smith turd of a spawn helmed reboot is better than this. Holy shit! The little Chinese girl from this reboot is in her 20s now!


Wait... first Miyagi was telling Daniel-san to whack-off... Now Jackie Chan wants Jaden to Jack it off?

Seriously, a Karate Kid game would be great on Switch... Wax on, Wax off, sando floor, painto fence, painto house...

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