Jun 10, 2017

The Late on Purpose Review of Wonder Woman

The review was written on June 1st, but for spoiler reasons, held back until today.
There will be spoilers for Wonder Woman...
right after the Jump!


So you Jumped... I'm spoiling Wonder Woman here... If you haven't seen it turn back!













































You still here? Good: So the movie starts with a Wayne Enterprises Truck delivering a case to the Louvre in France. The person who received the package is Diana of Themyscira. She opens the case, it's the same WW photo from BvS. She reminisces, steps out and jumps off a building in WW Attire.
That's it...
What about the flashback section, you say? It's not important... The stakes are super low if you think about it... The movie is told as a flashback that we are COMPLETELY SURE THAT WW comes out on top, since we saw her in BvS and at the start of the movie... But since that's the meat of the movie, let's talk about that.

So, we get one of those Highlander Flashbacks to Themyscira, where a young Diana wants to be an Amazon, but Queen Hippolyta won't allow it. Diana's aunt secretly trains her. They all talk about a godkiller, Zeus and Ares. So, I guess it failed the B├ęchamel test... There was no creamy white sauce in the movie... It probably passed the ridiculous Bechdel test, then again DEAD OR ALIVE passed that test... Yes, THAT Dead or Alive...

Just so we are clear, what Dead or Alive I'm talking about... Back to WW...
Diana grows into Gal Gadot and eventually Captain Kirk crashes on Themyscira. She saves him and follows him into the world of Man and fights the Germans in WWI. Calling it "Captain America: The First Avenger: With a Vagina" is a reasonable comparison, but Super powered heroes fighting a World War while Flying America's colors is where the similarities end. There's a little Thor mixed in with Diana's "Fish out of water" status in the World of Man.  but basically, Diana helps turn the tide on World War I, helps stop the Weapons of Mass Destruction that Germany has, pulls of a Kratos and Steve dies.  I enjoyed the movie... It had Humor... Intended Humor, not scenes so awful that make you laugh out of how stupid they are...

Also, there was COLOR... Sure, the WW Outfit was still the muted Suck Snyder version, but you could see the colors since many of the fight scenes were in broad daylight AND the camera man wasn't me 4 minutes before meeting Tara Strong... My only nitpicks, as stated above, is that the whole tension and suspense from the movie dissipates the moment you realize that she already went through that and that she was still alive and well to fight Zodsday. the other that it took over an hour for Diana to wear her outfit. Third but last... Where is the Bat Shaped Crutch... you can't simply allude to it with the Wayne Enterprises truck! I was expecting a goddamn cameo off Butt-chin Bruce Wayne... Then there's the 4th nitpick... Ares' appearance was a bit underwhelming...
I did enjoy it a LOT MORE than Suicide Squad and MARTHA!! Remember my remarks about eating Crow and Gal Gadot? Well, Looks like I'll have to accept that she did a decent job as Wonder Woman... and was more believable than Scar Jo in anything actiony...
ScarJo is still not amused

So, out of all 4 DCEU Movies (Man of Stool, MARTHA!! Joker overstayed his welcome, and Wonder Woman) I have to say Wonder Woman is the best of the set closely followed by Martha, then way in the back Suicide Squad and Man of Stool fighting for the last place... After Multiple viewings, Suicide Squad fell from grace... Martha!! Bigger Longer and uncut helped boost that movie up a bit... Man of Stool is still ass!)

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