May 10, 2017

I beat FFXV... Now I can review it.

I gave my first thoughts a while back... I beat the game on May 1st, but didn't bother writing this until today... (doing sidequests and trying not to break up the Sailor Moon week) So, now that I beat the game I can fully do a review... No, I haven't watched Kingsglaive or Brotherhood, cause screw Outside crap! The game is supposed to come with the story IN IT, Celestiadammit!

As always, Videogame reviews use the 1-10 scale instead of the 1-5 scale of toys... There will be SPOILERS... you have been warned...

Story:
OK, so you're Prince/King Noctis Lucis Caelum (Heaven's Night Light?) and you're on a Roadtrip with your 3 Bodyguards... No, Spike... Don't you dare...

On the way to your wedding to The Oracle Lunafreya... who reminds me of a character played by Mandy Moore/Mena Suvari... Well, Poop hits the fan and your father, the King is Murdered while you're Hakuna Matata-ing with Annoying Prompto, Irritating Ignis, and Gladio, who is basically what you'd get if Auron and Paine had a child and then that child had a child with Grumpy Cat... and then the kid grew up to be a dick... like cyclops! So, the game tosses you into an open world, basically doing sidequests until the game remembers it has a plot and it forces you into a hallway simulator... but to be fair, FFXV WAS originally FF Versus XIII, so the Hallway Sim is part of the vestiges of vs XIII (badum tss) The Villain is basically a Realistic take on Kefka... But pretty much all the juicy details ARE NOT IN THE FRIGGING GAME!!
5.0

Gameplay:
This one is a bit harder to rate, because it tries to be so many things at the same time... It's an A-RPG, which in my books is a bid bad since I prefer Turn based JRPGs because I have more control there than in ARPGs (Controlling a full party via passive commands trumps actively controlling ONE character and relying on the AI not screwing up badly... I'm referring to incidents similar to those involving the damn duck on SquEnix's KH series) It also tries to be an Sandbox game like GTA, or Breath of the wild, but the open world is severely closed. For the last stretch it TRIES to be a Stealth game... It fails... I hate linking to Craptaku, but they did encapsulate Chapter XIII perfectly.
The rest of the game you'll spend it traveling back in time via a magic dog... don't question it, just as I don't question how the Jusenkyo curses work on Ranma... to past events in order to complete more sidequests... Basically the Hunts from FFT:A, and some boring fetch quests, not to mention completing the remaining Royal Arms... for some reason I have 3 Missing.
7.0 (I blame Chapter XIII, which happens to be the Hallway Chapter... Coincidence?)

Controls:
They are MOSTLY Responsive. I mentioned having some hiccups in battle, but the most annoying thing is the Interact Button is the Jump Button. Having Noctis jump around like a moron when trying to pick up items is frustrating, or just to complete quests and talk to people. You literally have to reach the point of interest, come to a full stop, then adjust the camera so the prompt (proceed, talk, pick up, etc.) shows up on screen, make sure you adjusted the camera properly and the prompt stays for more than a second, THEN press the button.
7.0

Sounds, Music and Voice Acting:
The Music was mostly composed by Yoko Shimomura... Spike, roll the best theme ever by Yoko Shimomura:

Buuuuuuuuuut, the saddest part is that MANY will not listen to the FFXV music for a simple reason:
The damn car has a CD Player and you can play certain songs from past FF games...
Here's the top 7 songs I play on my Regalia
There's this one, then this one, ooh! This one, as much as I disliked the game, I like this song... I love this one!! and this one...
Last but not least, THE MOST IMPORTANT FINAL FANTASY SONG EVER!!
To be honest, FFXV's addition of classic themes was a bit detrimental to the OG songs of XV...
Now the voices... I have no issues with them... Except some lines of dialogue, and a certain character being annoying... And losing Sean Bean as King Regis... (Why did Kingsglaive get better VAs than the game?)
Noctis' VA has been in tons of stuff that I haven't seen... Huh... Gladio was a random voice in GTA 5... and Rise of the Tomb Raider wait he was Charlie Sheen in Family Guy? Haven't seen anything with That's It! I've come up with a new recipe! Prompto is Tuxedo Kamen-sama!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
supporting character that shows up in like 2 scenes was voiced by Leon Kennedy's VA!?
The Villain of the game was voiced by DOOM's Villain!? Mind Blown!
9.5

Graphics:
Square + PS4, of course everything will be pretty...

(Just to show a summon that is not Lightning Stalker Grandpa) Of course here they get a full 10.0

Overall:
Final Fantasy XV gets a 7.7 as its final score. I mostly blame the Story being told mostly OFF-GAME, which is a No-no for me. The mild clunkiness of the controls AND the mismatched gameplay for a game that was announced 11 years and 2 days ago.

The end product feels like a mismatched item, which is partially scaring me due to FFVIIRemake being a bit similar to this one.

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