Oct 29, 2016

He-Man meets Lion-O Part 1... The Rant:

The Print Version is nowhere to be found, so I... I... went digital.


Right out of the bat the comic manages to piss me off...
Really Narrator? Pissing off Management makes Mumm-Ra sound like an underpaid intern than a Former Priest from Ancient Third Earth... (back when it was Earth) and Avatar of the Ancient Spirits of Evil... Writer: Do you even Thundercats?

Great, now you also mock MOTU as well... First it mocks Eternians and the next page has a Fisting Reference from Fisto... I'm starting to hate this comic...

Randor bitches to Adam about the latter's irresponsibility, while Adam rubs his sword... Cliched Superhero problems amirite?

WHAT THE HELL, MAN!? I could have sworn that Only Lion-O can see Jaga's ghost... Seriously, Writer DO YOU EVEN THUNDERCATS!? Also, Eternia and Third Earth being close together will cause some messed up natural disasters... Seriously, did the Writer had to paint us a mental picture of Mumm-Ra getting a hernia because he broke the Dimensional barrier between Third Earth and Eternia?  Not to mention calling the Heroic Warriors Circus Freaks... and there we go. Biblical Flooding of Eternos and now Adam has to save his dad without his Magical Canseco Juice.

Sorceress shows up and tells Adam not to Go Supergrayskulljin and asks for the sword. Adam gives it to her and she Penetrates his chest with it... Cause it's Mumm-Ra. Holy ass crackers, they killed Adam! I'm REALLY, REALLY starting to hate this comic... Then again, it's a mid-issue stabbing, so we know he'll heal once he powers up.

Lion-O is NOW showing doubts after all he's been through as Lord of the Thundercats NOW he doubts Jaga and the Sword? Writer, DO YOU EVEN THUNDERCATS!?

Yeah, it was Mumm-Ra. He also zaps Cringer out of the way due to his Ailurophobia. He also reveals that Adam is completely devoid of evil, and that's how he found him and deceived him like Mumm-Ra does... So, Writer, while I still hate this comic, I must commend you for that.

Now, Adam hangs on to the sword and transforms into He-Man, whose radiance makes Mumm-Ra stumble and gave me a half-chub... which sounds kinda gay, but I cannot deny that the awesomeness of that made me a bit aroused... Don't let that go to your head writer... I still hate most of the comic.
Mumm-Ra and He-Man fight and Even Cringer fights... Not Battle Cat, but Cringer... That is badass, but DO YOU EVEN MOTU!? Also, Ewww... Cringer is biting into Rotten multiple millennia old flesh.


Mumm-Ra vanishes with the sword and ends up at Snake Mountain... There he is killed by Skeletor who was in cahoots with the ASoE...

Mumm-Ra: THE EVER LIVING!! Writer, do you even Thundercats!?

I hated the comic, but I kinda like it. I know it sounds hard to explain.

The Narrator being Skeletor can excuse the mockery of Eternos. But the whole Pissing off Management doesn't fit in with Eternia's Medieval system... Had Skeletor said something along the lines of slave/master dynamic, THEN it would have been more in-line with Eternia.

Also, what is it with the gratuitous violence? You give me a very Filmation MOTU and then Boom! Adam kebab! The inconsistencies with past lore kinda bug me.

Not sure if the writer loves the properties, or if he hates them and is doing this comic to get paid.
I'll probably read the rest of the six but if by issue 2 I don't see an improvement, I might give up. While I'm not fond of the violence used by Mumm-Ra to trick Adam, I DID like Mumm-Ra using treachery to get what he wanted.

See ya in November!

Oct 27, 2016

Wise of the Tomb Waidew Weview...

Yes, I couldn't wesist doing a Wise fwom youw gwave wefewence fow this weview. I'll stop now otherwise I might shave my head and act like this guy...


So, I got to play a while back the Sequel to Tomb Raider... Rise of the Tomb Raider and I guess Reviewing this game should come next, seeing that I reviewed the previous game.


Story:
This is Tomb Raider 2 but not TOMB RAIDER 2. There is no dagger of Xian, Dragon, or any of the Tomb Raider 2 things you remember because, just like the first game was Natla-free, this one is free from TR2 stuff... Though they throw a few References to TR2 on the Croft Manor DLC... More on that later. So, Lara is looking now for a Divine Source, which causes Immortality on People. Now Lara is racing against a "Secret Vatican Army" called Trinity...

Dammit, Spike! Don't play that clip whenever I mention Trin...

NO!! BAD SPIKE!  Step away from the Computer...
As I was saying: Lara is on a race to get an Artifact in order to stop the Evil Vatican Army. She meets some Hunger Games Rejects and she helps them stop the Evil Vatican Army... who killed Lara's Dad and maybe even her mom...
7.5

Gameplay:
Like it's Predecessor it KINDA feels like an Uncharted and The Last of Us clone. The closest thing to Old School Tomb Raider shows up on the Baba Yaga DLC... Damn that stupid ass Document... Damn it to hell! Will Rehash the Original TR Reboot description for gameplay:
It feels a bit like Uncharted, which makes sense, since Nathan Drake owes a lot of his existence to Lara Croft. The Skill Points and Survivor mode reminded me a bit of The Last of Us... Again, a good thing. The gameplay is not perfect due to the camera. A few deaths happened to me because the camera decided to stick close to Lara and not letting me see who the hell was shooting at me when turning! Others were by the unexpected QTEs that happen once in a blue moon.
Though I must point out that the game has a lot of bugs that can make some experiences VERY Frustrating. Some are even game-breaking and you can say goodbye to your save...
7.5

Controls:
They are responsive, aside the camera controls, as I mentioned in the gameplay section. (the Camera is SLIGHTLY better than in the first game.) They can be slightly unresponsive during the few QTEs that happen during the game but they are SLIGHTLY more lenient than the Previous game.
9.0

Music and Sounds:
Most of it is forgettable, but there are a few nods to old school Tomb Raider... With the Croft Manor DLC you get to hear the Classic Croft Manor theme... Only in the Library, though. The VAs do a Spectacular job, and they should be commended for that. It's a shame that Corporate Greed is screwing actors and will bring us to a dark age... Holy ass crackers! Jacob is Maurice Chavez of Vice City!? and he was in an episode of Hannah Montana!?
9.0

Graphics:
For a PS4 Game (and yes XBOne, where it came out first) the graphics are decent. Slightly better than the Previous game, but I'm currently unable to do a side by side comparison. Some clipping issues can cause glitches... Careful!
8.0

Fun Factor:
It's about as Fun as the Previous game... Same issues plague the sequel. It has a Zombie DLC... cause creativity is dead and stuff. Game breaking saves can ruin the fun... But exploring the Croft Manor is a nice way to get some backstory BUT kinda sad at the same time, since the place has gone down the crapper and worst part:

Though in one of the letters you find, there's a reference to Lara locking Winston in the freezer.
7.5

Overall:
Rise of the Tomb Raider gets an 8.08 as it's overall score. It's a Decent game but I have a FEW NITPICKS about the game and the way the new series is being discussed.

First: The game tries way too hard to distance itself from the past Tomb Raider games that made Lara a Household name but, at the same time, they keep throwing bones to old school fans... even if some of those bones are kinda lame.

Just give us NEW LARA on her OLD SCHOOL OUTFIT AS A FREE DLC. That's way cooler than PS1 and PS2 Graphics LARA on a PS4 game...


Second: I've read third-wave posts claiming the "deobjectification of Lara" as if she was a Real Being. She's an Object made to look female. She can't be objectified if she isn't a real being. Also, just because she gets a fully armored outfit, doesn't mean that people won't look at the polygons and pixels in a sexual way... Oh you're talking about comparing her to her old self...
Her big lips and Jumbo boobs WERE A NECESSITY to make her Memorable. The 1990s had TONS AND TONS of Mascots that have faded into obscurity.
Bubsy, Gex, Aero the Acro-bat, Bonk, etc. come to mind. Lara's "lonely teenage boy masturbatory fantasy" looks made her a pop culture icon... The Second most badass woman in gaming (Samus is #1) Then it was sealed when Ms. Jolie Voight played the role in the movies. The boobs, lips and Short shorts WERE ICONIC (like Ryu and his bandana, or Mario's Stache and Overalls) Had she lacked those memorable assets, people would have dismissed the game as yet another generic 3D platformer from the era. If it hadn't been for her looks, she wouldn't have survived long enough to get this reboot, and there's very little chance that we would have gotten the Nathan Drake we got.

Oct 24, 2016

Odds and ends 10/24/16


Remember Riri Williams? The SJW friendly Ironman... who is
now a Teenage Girl of Color? Well, here's the controversy:

Can you notice anything controversial?

I'll wait... go on...

Take a long and hard look...

Found anything? Please tell me you found anything cause I HAVE NOTHING!!!

Oh wait, I'm looking at things like a NORMAL PERSON... I need to get in my perennially offended SJW panties. BTW, Marvel caved in to them and the cover was axed... But let me channel my Inner 'Nita.

"It doesn't look like a 15 year old girl and she's being oversexualized"

And take it away Goldblum!


HAVE THESE PEOPLE SEEN ANY TEENAGE GIRLS!? I mean don't they often whine about girls who wear skimpy clothing and violating school dress codes being oppressed by these codes? Riri is dressed in a mildly conservative way for a teenage girl... Especially one who is GOING TO COLLEGE!! But she's 15 and based in Skai Jackson!









OK... Skai Jackson (Yes, I know she's from that crappy The Nanny Disneyfied Rip-off, but let me google her for a sec...)






 Would you look at that...
a 14-year old wearing EVEN LESS THAN Riri...

But-

But Nothing! Here we have Skai Jackson, a 14 year-old girl wearing a Hyper-sexualized outfit. Don't tell me it doesn't have any sexual implications having a top that looks like a giant bow. It's saying that her boobs are a present once you remove the wrapping...
You think that's disturbing? Well, I'm just applying the same (lack of) Logic that SJWs used to call Riri's pose and outfit Hypersexualized.

Let's speak of her Pose:
Does it look familiar? No, it's not a Talk to the hand pose. It's a nod to the Famous RDJ as Stark pic, but with a bit of feminine flair for Riri.



Now the Outfit, which is so controversial, well... Would you look at that? This Pic of Riri has almost the same pose AND THE SAME OUTFIT as the Controversial cover...

But they lightened her skin! That's Rac-



LOOK AT THE TWO PICTURES OF SKAI JACKSON POSTED HERE...
Different lighting causes the skin to look darker in the darker pic and lighter in the lighter pic. But this is pure SJW BS whining for the sake of whining...

But Kamala Khan dresses up like-

 Hokd it right there: Kamala Khan is a Pakistani-American MUSLIM TEEN who happens to be respectful of her heritage/religion. OF COURSE Ms. KHAN WILL DRESS MUCH MORE CONSERVATIVELY THAN RIRI... Riri is an American who happens to be black. Not to mention that Kamala has shapeshifting abilities, so if she wanted to look like a Rob Liefeld person, she could pull it off...

Now Black Leggins and a Red Crop Top, is that even controversial? I could have sworn that I jokingly said it was sexualized WAY BEFORE THE J.SCOTT CAMPBELL cover...
I totally did! Really, I don't get the outrage now. The Outfit's the same,  the proportions are similar... She doesn't have Torpedo tits, but maybe the boobs look a tad bigger on Campbell's cover than the earlier cover that Campbell used as a reference. Oh, it's because the head looks like she's doing the sassy black girl Mmmhmm! pose?


I'm afraid I've got some good news and some bad news.
The Good news is that Troy Baker, Steve Blum, and Nolan North are going to take a break from voice acting in videogames... The bad news is that it's because of a strike.
Last year I commented about the Strike, well now it's official!

Well, we are coming back to the Dark Age of the Voice Over...

Jiggle Sandwiches FOREVERR!!!


More bad news that are Marvel Related... Deadpool II: Time Travel Boogaloo has lost its director... The Official Title has not been revealed, but knowing Deadpool he'd probably use a pop culture reference and Electric Boogaloo popped into my head. Now where are Mom's Golden Girls DVDs?

Apparently, Ryan Reynolds is to blame. Creative differences with Reynolds wanting to play Van Wilder, while Miller wanted to ensure that Van Wilder was closer to Wade Wilson and kinda explore more of the X-Men world with DP...

I'm a bit worried...


Just when you thought that Mattel killing off MOTUC was the end, Mondo Reveals a THIRD MOTU Figure.

They had shown He-Man and Skeletor a while back and they are allegedly over the 150 USD but under the 200 USD. Well, now they made a Faker AND they added Filmation mini figures to He-Man and Skeletor...

I have to say the redesigns look cool, BUUUUT The Filmation mini figures look completely out of place next to these reimaginings of He-Man and Skeletor.


Old Man Logan had a Trailer... Something, something, bub!

It looks like it has X-23... minus the Hooker Angle and It's Old Man Logan minus the Rest of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Some people have drawn parallels between the Trailer and The Last of Us.

Post Apocalyptic America... check!
Military looking for Mutants to destroy them... check! (Cordyceps infection kinda counts like a mutation)
Old bitter man has to take care of a very special child and go on a road trip... check!

And that's about it and I had to do some Mental Gymnastics to make A point...

In any case I'd like to see it since it's basically the END for the X-Men franchise.

Boy! There's been a rumor of a Map for Red Dead Redemption 2 being leaked! Apparently it goes Further North than Blackwater and a bit to the east! This has piqued my curiosity. Just one more year...





Oct 22, 2016

It Came from the Toy Chest: The General is here...



Spike, don't put an insurance ad clip... I am talking about General Sunder... Former Horde General turned into an ally of the Great Rebellion and another Clambake diluting male. He was in TWO episodes of She-Ra: Princess of Power. Those were An unexpected ally and Return of the General.

He's one of the few Hordesmen that realizes that the Horde is Evil... (It's on their title for crying out loud) and decides to do something about it.

So, that is reason enough for him to be in Classics... The Added Horde Trooper Heads help... Now let's get to him:

Articulation:
In my Horde Trooper Review, I commented on how the Horde Trooper buck could be reused for Sunder... Since the General reuses most of the Horde Trooper buck (more on that when dealing with Paint and Sculpt) his Articulation is LITERALLY the same as a Horde Trooper. Here he gets a 5.0 despite having the same problems that the Troopers had.

Paint and Sculpt:
Here is where Parts Reuse was Detrimental for the figure.Let's strip him of his armor first.
Yes, you're seeing correctly. Sunder is using the FULL HORDE TROOPER BODY minus the Loincloth and Armor. That includes the Robotic Upper Torso with parts of it painted in Caucasian Flesh... Bummer.
In the Cartoon Sunder has black boots, here they are gray... Another Figure in 2016 that I had to Repaint... Masque got a full body paintjob, Vultak needed some fixes on his furry parts, Darius needed to look a bit less than Fisto. Crita needed a bit of color on her weapon. Now Sundar needed paint on his boots and glove armor. (In the Toon it's red like the Troopers. I chose black because screw it!)
3.0

Accessories:


-A Horde Axe/Sword thing?
-3 Extra Trooper heads (Filmation Horde Invasion, Aqua Trooper, NU52)
-2 Guns
Six Accessories, this would earn him a 5.0 by default, but I can't give him a 5.0 here. I blame the Heads.



The Cape is the culprit of the
Aquahead issue.
Head is wedged in and held with blu tac
He got 3 Horde Trooper heads, but not the most important head that he needed: A Sunder WITHOUT a Helmet. They could have easily put one of the Extra Sunder heads in the supposed Single Carded Trooper and given us the head we NEEDED for Sunder.






Alec Baldwin in Beetlejuice?
Not too bad but you have to force in the helmet.
Then while Sunder shares parts with the Horde Trooper, he cannot use the Horde Trooper heads. Either they don't fit due to the cape (Aqua Trooper, I'm looking at you) or they look ridiculous (Invasion and DC heads) because Sunder's Armor is different from the Troopers. Had Sunder come with a Horde Trooper Armor, he would have sold like hot cakes!
4.0

Overall:
Sunder gets a 4.0 as his overall score. It's not bad, but...

He's decent, but he needed a little bit more to put him over the edge...

 Maybe Super7 should consider an Ultimate Horde Trooper 2 Pack in Filmation colors. One Normal Horde Trooper and the Second one with Sunder's Loincloth to have a Horde Gunner. Then Toss in ALL The Trooper heads and weapons (Including Sunder's Sword/Ax, thing) That is assuming Mattel won't release the Single Carded Trooper. I'm sure they'd sell since this is THE ARMY BUILDER for MOTU.






Oct 21, 2016

Steven Seagal might bring us great news.

Steven Seagal, the man who is Hard To Kill, On Deadly Ground, Under Siege, In The Belly Of The Beast, Against the Dark, Half Past Dead,  Out for Justice, Marked for Death, and The Glimmer Man... who also happens to be a real cop.


Well, he's making a sequel... I found out by Accident...

so here's the story on how I found out about this. There's a Halloween Party coming up and I decided to go as Steven Seagal... Seeing that I'm fat, like Seagal, I thought: A Ponytailed wig, a black Durag and not shave my goatee and I kinda have a late 00s early 10s Seagal look, but I need to go further. Dress up like an Iconic Seagal look and act as if I was trying to pitch a sequel to an 80s movie...
Seeing that I already own a Nico Toscani figure, I thought: Blue Jeans and a Black Leather (or PVC) Jacket and I could pull off a Steven Seagal trying to push for an Above the Law Sequel. Well, while looking for Seagal pics in order to find an appropriate wig, I stumbled upon this:
Above the Law 2 is happening. Somehow Steven Seagal got the Rights to Above the Law and is making a sequel... OH HOLY CRAP!!

Now let's be honest here... We can't expect this movie to be the most fantastic thing ever for a few reasons:

Steven Seagal is 27-ish years older than he was back in the day... He's also gained some weight... Sure he can still do fight scenes, but compare a RECENT Seagal Movie to an 80s-early 90s Seagal movie.




Also, Seagal's latest movies have been Straight to DVD stuff that even Canon Films would have been embarrassed to release. Note: I LOVE Seagal Movies, but nothing compares to 80s-early 90s Seagal.

It Came from the Toy Chest: second Hoooooooooooooooooooo!

Well, many moons ago, Bandai made a Lion-O... Mattel decided to Outdo Bandai and do their own Lion-O. If this had been the 201X Thundercats I could have made a Feeny Call Reference, but it's the 1985 Thundercats, so I can't. Do I need to explain who Lion-O, Lord of The Thundercats and 11 year old Boy trapped in a Man's body is?









Let's get down to the Review:

Articulation:
He pretty much has MOTUC Articulation, but with added Hinged Wrists. Sadly he cannot hold his sword aloft... Nor do the slashes to make his sword grow. He can't truly hold the sword with both hands over his head for the HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Pose. He can do the Sight Beyond Sight pose.
4.5

Paint and sculpt:
The sculpt is phenomenal, but it's the 4HM so it's kind of expected. Paintwise, mine has a minor paint scuff on his right forearm. Kinda looks like he has a bit of battle damage (small red streak looks like he got a small cut on his arm) other than that, the paintwork is decent.
4.0

Accessories:

This is tough, because here the accessories are hit or miss.
We have:
2 Swords of Omens: "Asleep" Dagger Mode and "Awake" Sword Mode
2 Left hands One to grip the sword, and the other to grip his hand for the Sight beyond Sight 2 handed pose.
2 Claw Shields: One idle with the Sword sculpted on it and one for using.

The Second Claw shield is honestly a waste of Plastic as Bandai's Lion-O has shown us. The amount of Plastic used on that shield could have given us a second Right Hand with articulation similar to Filmation He-Man AND a Sword of Omens in Sight Beyond Sight Mode. (Dagger sized with "Awake Hilt")
4.5

Overall:
While it's Amazeballs that He-Man and Lion-O can now be Side By Side, this figure gets a bittersweet 4.33 as his final score. He's better than the Bandai one, for sure, but the line is cancelled...
Muck you Fattycollector!

Oct 20, 2016

RDR2 Teaser Trailer Released!!

Rockstar Games just Released the Trailer to RDR2

All I can say is Ho-Ly Crap!!
Now that I've calmed down, All I can say is: Sure it's a nice teaser showing off the ambiance.
I guess Gameplay will have to wait until a future trailer, but if it improves on Red Dead Redemption, then It's a Good Thing.

Fall 2017 can't come soon enough!

Nintendo's NX Revealed: Switching things around

Seems like the Nintendo NX, now called the Nintendo Switch is a Gameboy on steroids after having sex with a WiiU.


I want to be hyped, but I just can't. It's a Freaking WiiU and a Gameboy at the same time.

Those Slide-in pieces worry me. Remember how the NES contacts loss connectivity and we got the Blue Screen? Or how some DS Games lose connectivity on their pins and it makes it hard to read the games? Now do that to a $300-400 Console...

The Battery life of the Console Worries Me. Being Half Portable means that in some cases the thing will be plugged ALL THE TIME and that could theoretically damage the battery.

More information is needed, but right now I'm not that impressed.

Let our Powers combine! A Captain Planet movie is happening!?

Captain Planet!!! CAPTAIIIIIIN PLAAAAAAAAANEEEEEEET!! Well, Paramount Pictures is working with Appian Way Productions to give us a Captain Planet Movie...
Well, looks like getting F$%^& by a Bear was the Catalyst to get us Captain Planet, so Thanks Leo DiCaprio!

There is only ONE TINY THING THAT BOTHERS ME...

"The story takes place years after the adventures of the show, with the Captain now a washed up hasbeen who needs the kids more than they need him."

Nope! Nope! Nope! and another big bag of NOPE!!
When you start from a self-deprecating angle, it shows no respect for the Source Material. I kinda get not wanting to do an Origin Story, but starting with the Captain as a Has-Been is NOT a good idea. It's been 20+ years since we last saw those eco-terrorist Planeteers... They do terrorism in the name of the environment, so the term is correct. Do we need to see a Ma-Ti without Suchi? or an Older Wheeler still trying to get into Linka's pants? These "Dark and gritty continuations" while cool to people who grew up with the franchise and want to see a continuation, we must remember that at its core, Captain Planet was a cartoon about 5 kids with Magical Rings that were meant to teach kids how to recycle.

I hope that gritty script is axed and something more in line with Captain Planet is used... Even if it's a continuation to the toon, where the Planeteers were forced to return the Rings to Gaia and they moved on with their lives of Ecological Activism and now they are forced to return into action due to some new Eco Villain or something.

Oct 19, 2016

Brain Bleach Foreverrrr! EQG 4 the rantview!

My Little Loli: Jailbait is Magic now with Even Less Pony is on Netflix... Must watch it since it's almost a tradition here at the House of Rants... So, crack open your can of poison...(beer, rum, sake, etc.) and let's get it on with Twilight and Friends. Not in that way, you perv... but in That case, Human Twi is better than Pony Twi...
Dammit! I haven't even started and I already sound like a perv... Spike! play the freaking movie. Also, Unlike Trix, this review ain't for kids!! (im)Mature humor and stuff. There's your Tigger Warning!

We start in Twilight's bedroom... great, now I'm some sort of weird creep who spies on fictional teenagers' bedrooms.
So Twilight is having a nightmare and the Hu-Mane 6 (Cause Sunset Shimmer is now part of the gang and Hu-Twi is the newbie, making it the Mane-7...) come to wake her up... cause they are going to camp...

They help Twilight pack and set her up for camp.  But she-Demon Twilight, now called Midnight Sparkle attacks and deletes everyone... Tara Strong's villain voice is so sexy!  She tries to grope Twilight... No, not in a Trump-like manner... that only happens when involving Rule 34. Boom, Twilight's on the bus to camp! Sunset suspects something's wrong with Twi, but Pinkie decides to distract everybody with her Marshmallowy exposition! Celestia goes on a Principal speech about the trip to camp... Luna helps!
and we break into song... gotta pad the movie to reach 73 minutes! Luckily it's just the intro... Oh look! they had pony on the title... let's see if we even SEE ONE on the movie. Fluttershy wants to see the animals and Applejack wants to Bear Grylls it. Then RD poops that party.
Rarity, well wants to wahaha it. Pinkie comments on the past 2 movies and calls BOTH Twilight and Sunset demons.
Applejack wants to get away from the Magic... We know that ain't gonna happen, bub! (not intended as a jab towards Canada, eh? OK, the eh, was a playful nod.)

Flash Sentry makes a fool of himself. Sunset Shimmer had to explain the awkward Flash Sentry to Twilight... wait... Whatever happened to the Sunset Shimmer of the Human world?

We meet the hippie camp counselors. six minutes in and I'm praying for Mama Voorhees to cull the population ASAP! Holy ass crackers! we have Human Bulk Biceps!

Rarity what the F, man? a Fashion Show on a Summer Camp near a lake!? That begs for some Supernatural stuff to happen and you heard the Silly Apple girl. No Magic!

Oh no... Male Camp Counselor made Twilight blush... Bronies of the world! We must unite to take down that hippie and we may have to work with that dipstick Flash Sentry...
Shut the Hell up, Principal Sunbutt! You already went to camp, based on the artwork some Twenty something years ago. Luna probably did so too... (Guessing Luna's like 30 and Celestia is 33.)
So, thanks to Sunbutt, the campers have to make a gift for the camp. Oh THERE'S Derpy!

Wait, did we just have a small spat between Sunbutt and MOONBUTT!

Wait, isn't that a bit creepy? The male camp counselor being in charge of the girls and the female camp counselor being in charge of the boys... Also, Snip and Snails are at camp but not the CMC? Now we know that Granny Smith plays favorites... back on topic, we know that dude wants to give Twilight the D...
Twilight begins acting like a...
NEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRD!!! and hippie dude is playing the nerd card to get inside Twilight's granny panties... She's like super nerdy and is not thong material like Rarity...

It's official, Hippie must die! where's that dickhole Flash Sentry when you need him?
Wait, Human Filthy Rich is the villain? But Pony Filthy Rich is one of the nicest ponies ever!?  He's acting very Trump-like... or Norman Osborn-like.
Sirens, Demons, now Businessman? New Low EQG...
Filthy Rich better ride a Glider and toss Pumpkin bombs
by the end of the movie...

Applejack would be good at CinemaSins...

Sunset Shimmer  is best Pony turned human... She also has everything figured out. Except the Twilight making everything float part.

Sunset Shimmer has unlocked Tactile Telepathy!
She now suspects Ms.Camp Counselor...

Fluttershy has Snow White Animal summoning powers...
Damn that crappy dock helping that Hippie Douche put the moves on Twilight!  Flash, fight him, dammit! Dammit, Sunset, get him to fight for Twi, not get over her!
Applejack decides to build a new dock. But why are Teenagers constructing a Dock. Are they Professional Builders? I'm pretty sure that a Dock is not something that the average teen can do.

Wait, did Rainbow Dash just dashed like Barry?

Also, Pinkie gets excited about everything... Like the CrazyRussianHacker...
Applejack is wielding Mjolnir.

Hippie dude is using the lamest pick up lines in the world... and they're working!?

Smores and Scary Stories... Finally a Camp Activity that doesn't sound like Slave Labor.

Rarity sucks at horror stories... that's almost as bad as aliens that come out of your butthole. Hippie dude gives us exposition disguised as a horror story.


OK, something is going on with Ms. Hippie counselor. She's totally gonna rape Snips and Snails...
Everyone loves to crap on Twilght and Sunset... it's all Jafar's fault...

Twilight still dreams of her Satsui no Hadou self. Drooling Kung Fu Sunset Shimmer is Adorbs... but she's no match for unconsciously levitating stuff Twilight. Wait did Twilight just try to kill Derpy!?

Ah, Trixie, Trixie, Trixie... you remind me of what a Daughter of Keldor would look like... (Mandatory MLP/200X MOTU VA reference.) Oh look, Edward Cullen spilled his seed on the lake!

Twilight runs into the woods to sing!? About the Satsui no Hadou? (kinda makes me want a Ponified Midnight Sparkle)

Hippie douche finds her and is inching his way to Twilight's maidenhood. Sunset, stop them! no, don't  encourage them!

Why is Celestia acting as camp counselor? Could it be because the camp counselor was trying to uncover Twilight's most precious secret? Bad Celestia... leaving a student unattended with a creepy camp counselor who is clearly abusing his position in order to bust the backroom of a camper... Guy totally looks like he's into ATM or thw Alabama Hot Pocket.

There's an Earthquake and some Cullen Chowder on the grass.

Applejack has Super Strength now.

Rarity unlocked Gem themed Forcefields. Think Green Pedophile, but Gem themed...

Now she got Applejack wet and Celestia's all What is going on!?
Twilight is beating herself up for this.


Pinkie Pie is now a non-Cajun Gambit!

and Fluttershy is the Aquaman of the Hu-Mane7... She can talk to animals... The Beastmistress!
OK, so where is Dashie? She's totally The Flash Now... If they don't start fighting crime with these powers, I'm gonna be pissed off!

Derpy speaks! Derpy speaks! (yah , it's  a reference to Martha speaks, who is voiced by Derpy's VA... and I need to trigger Batman.)

I hate that Hippie douche more than Flash Sentry...
At least Human Pinkie is freaking hilarious!


Twilight decides to run away from camp...  but Sunset caught her. They share a little bonding on thwir Satsui no Hadou days. Hippie dude was running around the forest with an ax like a serial killer.


Wait, HE is the one who leaves the Sparkly residue... No, Twilight! Run! He's a Poison Fairy!


wait, this whole Mystery about Gaea Everfree is starting to sound a lot like Scooby Doo... They even have the talking dog.

Need to get a GIF maker...
The rest of the Hu-Mane7 work on the dock WITHOUT using their powers... I mean it's not like everyone at camp KNOW that they are Super Powered Teenage Girls that turn into Horse-Human Hybrids to battle demons and stuff. Also, RD shows us how she'd give the world's most unenthusiastic Handy...

Really, knowing Pinkie is practically a Pink Gambit and you let her hold the nails!? Now there's a part of me that wonders what would have happened if her LeBeau Powers had kicked in...

Sunset explains her tactile Telepathy to the Hu-Mane6 and I swore I heard Hundreds of cloppers saying: "Sunset, we have a few memories that you can touch RIGHT HERE!"

Pinkie goes first and...
Pinkie Pie is Mad Creepy... Seriously, I know it's made to look like she's in an innocent world of candy and stuff, but she LITERALLY BREAKS OFF A CHUNK OF A LIVING AND SENTIENT BEING AND EATS IT RIGHT THERE!! Now Sunset... I kinda miss Supreme Mega Bitch Sunset... begins to sing and convinces them to abuse their powers. Also, the song changes a bit drastically if you think Magic is an euphemism...
Unlike Twilight, Rarity tries to save Derpy.
Also, Sunset is trying to seduce Fluttershy... and find Twilight... but she gets distracted by the squabbling Hippies.

Flash Dickhole and Sunset Shimmer make a nice couple... No, Derpy! Step away from the dickhole!

Sunset chased the Hippie into the woods where something glowed inside a cave... Dun dun dunnnnn! *eagle caws*
Sunset texted Twilight and sent her to the quarry. There they see the eerie glowing cave... Full of Equestrian Magic... and I ain't talking about no horse penis here. Nope... it was Ms. Hippie all along! She got powers from a magic set of crystals and has been Poison Ivying it... It was she who tried to Murder Derpy!! Kill the witch!!
wait... she's tying Sunset and Twilight with vine tentacles... I like where this is going... She's turned into a Chrysalis/Poison Ivy She-Devil! (Wonder if that is her final form...)
To the Clop-cave, old chum!


Meanwhile, the rest of the cast are playing along with Rarity's delusion. I mean I saw a few references to Wilson!

How did Snips and Snails recognize Gloriosa?

Oh Pinkie Pie, you so random!

Gloriosa pulls a page out of Donald Trump's book and builds a wall around the camp. RD is pissed that the dock was ruined again.
Come on! Another song? Now the Hu-Mane6 decide to fight back and Pony up!
Of course they fail, because the whole team isn't together... like trying to form Voltron without the Torso.

Spike rescues Sunset and Twi, but Twilight is afraid of her magic. Sunset coaxes her into using her magic.

Rarity tries Diplomacy... She Yamcha'd it up.

Timber tries to convince his sister to stop and he fails... not as bad as Rarity, though.

Sunset Ponies up to convince Twilight... Don't think of clop... don't think of clop... dammit, Internet, you made me think about clop!

Twilight and Sunset rejoin with the Hu-Mane7.
Gloriosa's bush is getting wilder by the minute and the Hu-Mane7 have to fight back! Twilight struggles with the Satsui no Hadou... in a Dr. Strange Astral Battle against DoorMuuMuu. The rest of the team save Twilight and Friendship is Magic, Beeyotch!
Twilight forcibly trims Gloriosa's bush and steals her magic doohickies and they become the Human World counterpart of the Elements of Harmony... I think?
Then again, it also reminded me of...


Once again, the day is saved thanks to The Powerpuff Girls... the old ones, not the new ones.

The students rebuild camp, including the dock... again. Gloriosa apologizes to Celestia and Luna for no reason. She should be apologizing to her pony overlords... or overladies.

The Sorceress of Grayskull decides to save camp... The super Pony Girls decide to save the day again. Because no one but them can do it.
Also, Rarity loves balls... the dancing kind, you perv!

Song and Montage!? that's soo 80s!
Rariiack shipping overload!

Applejack LOVES to emasculate her classmates. Filthy Rich lost and did not become a Green Goblin knock-off... Movie, I am disappoint.

Dammit, Hippie douche! Stop hitting on Twilight! No, Twilight, don't fall for his smooth moves! Thanks Gloriosa, you're a great cockblocker, bronies will love you now!

Sunset wonders where the magic came from and we are shown the portal statue base having a crack where the Canterlot High Wondercolt statue was...

Zero ponies un this movie...

and Pinkie kills the dock... the end!


We're totally getting an Equestria Girls Five...
It was a bit better than EQG 3, but 2 is still the best.

Oct 18, 2016

Odds and ends 10/18/16

It's official Red Dead 3 is happening... but it's called for now Red Dead Redemption 2. Fall 2017... Damn, This, FFVIIR Episode 1 and Shenmue 3... I'm gonna need a bigger Hard Drive for my PS4...

The one thing that scares me is the focus on Online... Remember how GTA V's Story Mode suffered due to the massive focus on Online... Red Dead Redemption's best aspect is the Story... I don't want that to suffer because of Online.

Bella Thorne posed for Playboy... But POSING NOW FOR PLAYBOY no longer has the same meaning as it did 20 years ago. Now Posing for Playboy is almost as mild as posing for Seventeen or a bit less risqué than Maxim. Seriously, why is this even a big deal? If she were posing nude, then THAT would be a big deal, but Current no-nudes allowed Playboy makes it a bit lame.

People got offended at an insanely funny Halloween costume and it was pulled. I am talking about "Parisian Robbery Victim". Popular Culture Costumes ARE THE RAGE... Wasn't the Caitlyn Corset a popular disguise last year? People have worn Osama Costumes, Hitler Costumes, UNABOMBER costumes, JFK with his brains falling out costumes, OJ Simpson, but Kim K is NOT fair game?

Seriously, right now we live in a world where a Strip of Bacon Costume can be considered Highly Offensive... Well, better just buy a Gorilla Costume and Say I'm Harambe...
Wait, Harambe is now Cultural Appropriation...

A Gorilla is now Cultural Appropriation, according to Florida State University... I want to know WHAT CULTURE are people appropriating when wearing a Harambe Costume. Gorilla Culture? or are they implying that the Gorilla Costume is offensive against Black People? IF so, then THEY ARE THE RACISTS HERE. An Ape is an Ape and a Human is a different kind of Ape (biologically speaking) but it's not the same. Saying that a Gorilla Costume BASED ON AN ACTUAL GORILLA IS NOT THE SAME AS DRESSING UP A GORILLA COSTUME IN A GHOSTBUSTERS COSTUME and call it Leslie Jones. See the difference? One is Remembering a figure in Popular Culture, Harambe the Gorilla. The other one is a racist attack towards a not so funny comedienne.


Lucasfilms and the House of Mouse are hunting down everything... Now they're after a Fencing Academy that teaches Theatrical Fencing using an Elegant weapon for a more Civilized age. Sad part is that Disney and Lucasfilms ARE WITHIN their rights to protect their IP. But the problem lies in the Sue-Happy Hyper Litigious methods that make them look like the bad guys. Now if they could work out a deal with this group to become the only OFFICIAL Lightsaber Academy, then it would be good for both the Academy and Disney...


Russell Crowe allegedly got into a fight with Azealia Banks. Apparently he choked her and called her a racial slur. Thing is that I don't know who to believe. I know Crowe is known for being Problematic, but Banks ain't no saint either.

I'm off to bed... Spike! Play the Crowe Lullaby!

Oct 17, 2016

So, It's Matty Sale date again...

And it's been 26 minutes since the sale started and both Jackalman and Evil Lyn are still available.
That is a bit strange since the Filmation figures go out like SUPER FAST and this is EVIL LYN we're talking about... Not just ANY Evil Lyn, but one with an Outfit DIFFERENT FROM TEELA... Well, more like Different-ish. All I can say is that this outfit is NOT a Repaint of any Past Teela outfit.

It's kinda Strange that Evil Lyn has lasted 30 Minutes on the site... Jackalman I kinda understand why.
 But it seems that most collectors are just letting their subs do the ordering and the day of sale folks are simply giving up.

It's a bit sad... I would have ordered an extra Jackalman if I hadn't bought the NECA Foot, but that ate most of my Toy Budget for the month. (Not to mention that the massive blackout from a few weeks ago threw a wrench on my budget.) where was I? oh yeah, the sadness... Mattel kinda shot themselves in the foot with the Drastic Matty Shutdown. It pissed off the Thundercats fans more than it pissed the MOTU fans. I have to wonder if the constant delays may have helped to cause this...
43 minutes in and they are still available...  So sad... Wonder what will Mattel do with all that unsold stock come Decmber 31st?

UPDATE: Evil Lyn sold out sometime before 2:30 PM EST...

Update 2: I was told she sold out a little bit under an hour... but after I made my post... Also, Jackalman is still available.

It came from the Toy Chest with Pillowy mounds of mashed potatoes

Stock photo because camera issues.
Shame that my camera USB cable is MIA
Of course I'm going to make an Uncle Phil Reference on this review...

That's because I'm talking about the Foot Clan Set from NECA.

It contains: Shredder, an Utrom, 2 Foot Ninja and a Foot Elite That's 4 figures and a super accessory.

Right out of the bat you'll notice that these guys are small compared to Other NECA items... That's because they're meant to go with the 2007-ish TMNT and the 2009 April O'Neil that I already teased.

The second thing you'll notice is that these guys are pretty much the same buck slightly tweaked for Shredder and the Mystic. If you own the Arcade Game Foot set, you might notice a lot of reused parts from that set.

The Third is that they Overdid the "Comic Book-izing"... I mean look at the NECA Turtles
Stock Photo because I repainted mine in 80s toys inspired palette.
Look at the swords on Leonardo.
They can pass off as normal Katana from any other line.
Look at the Foot Clan Weapons...
I rest my case.
Even the "Comic Book-izing" on the Turtles themselves isn't that drastic. That kinda makes them clash a little bit...

I'm getting this out of the way before I start reviewing them, otherwise I'll harp on it incessantly.


Do I NEED To explain the Shredder and the foot?

So, there's this dude named Oroku Nagi, who was Shredder's Older Brother. He also was a Foot Clan Ninja, like Hamato Yoshi... Yes, that Hamato Yoshi... The same one that in some continuities is the Owner of Splinter, but in others he IS Splinter. So, Nagi had a beef with Yoshi, because This Tang Sheng lady was in love with Yoshi, but not with Nagi. Yoshi was forced to Kill Nagi to protect Tang Shen. Due to Yoshi Killing Nagi he was forced to leave the Foot Clan and moved to America. Oroku Saki, Nagi's younger brother had his revenge and killed both Yoshi and Shen. Saki the rose through the ranks of the Foot Clan and became the Shredder. The Ninja are just generic cannon fodder. The Elite is a much better fodder... Also, the Shredder dies in his first appearance...

Articulation:
Seeing these figures are Ninja, I did the Seiza Test. The Shredder did not pass, due to his armor. (It would mess up the blades on his armor. They are super soft and warp super easily.) Then I tried the Iconic Mirage Shredder pose.
This pose appears on the package but my camera did
NOT save the package pics.
Shredder Failed big time. His lower half of the Tunic impedes movement and he lacks a fully open hand to do the pose. The Teaser Pic I used on an earlier rant is the closest I got.









Now, here's a rundown of the articulation.
they also have a boot
cut... whoa.
As you can see the Foot has a decent range of Articulation. The only main PoA Missing is the Ab Crunch. Since All figures share the main buck... more on that on the Paint and Sculpt Section. Their articulation is Virtually the same. Shredder being a bit restricted due to his shoulder pads. The Lower Neck Articulation is kinda frozen on my figures. I'm not going to push it.

Foot Ninja: 4.0
Foot Elite: 4.0Shredder: 3.5

Paint and Sculpt:
This is why I wanted another set of NECA Turtles... even Bootlegs
Because it would have stopped me from wanting to
 paint these Foot Ninja in 1990 movie colors...
Black for most of the foot.
Tons of Metallic Red For Shredder and I can't do that.
There is not much to write about here, since the Sculpts are based on the prototypes made by the Four Horsemen Studios many moons ago... 4 Horsemen are Amazing at capturing the 2D look and make it 3D.
Now the paintjob is rather simplistic. Most of the pieces look like they are molded in the same color plastic as they are. Probably the straps are the only painted parts. As I said, my only issue is with the thickness of the "ink lines" on them.

4.5 for all.

Accessories:
Hoo boy we have a lot of these here!
We have:
2 Extra hands for each Ninja (8 hands total)
We have a strange Looking Kusarigama
1 Pushknife
1 Shuriken
2 Katana
1 Halberd
2 knives
1 Articulated Utrom (2poa)

16 accessories. Basically 4 per figure... Too little for a 7 year hiatus. I mean the normal turtles* had:
Their weapon(s) 2 Extra hands, a Diorama Piece and a Pre-Mutated Turtle. Mike and Raph had 3 Projectile Weapons. (Mikey 3 sawblade shuriken and Raph 3 throwing knives) Donatello had the TCRI vial of Ooze.
I know that asking for a second Oroku Saki Head would have been too much, but the Thermite Grenade seems fair game, or a set of open hands for Shredder like in the iconic Mirage pose. I mean they don't even have a Base, which totally could have been a Generic Manhole cover with a peg for the, foot to put, uh, a foot and act as a stand.
5.0


Overall:
Playmates should release this Splinter
The Foot Clan gets a 4.44 as the Final Score. Which is like SUPER UNLUCKY in Japan... It's a nice set and ALMOST rounds up the CORE CORE CORE CORE TMNT Characters. Now Splinter and Casey could Round up the Set... I'd take them both from NECA, but I can't deny that that Playmates Splinter looked nice for a Playmates figure.

I like it even if it needed a little bit more OOMPH! to go beyond way awesome... At least I nearly completed the NECA TMNT...