Jun 30, 2015

Current Marvel doesn't get Spider-Man.

Dan Slott spilled the beans on the new Parker Spidey book.

“Peter Parker has stepped up,” writer Dan Slott says. “He’s grown. He’s become the Peter Parker we’ve always hoped he was going to be. This company, with Peter’s inventions and Peter’s gumption has gone to new heights.”
“The things this suit will be able to do and the innovations that Peter Parker has put into it will be astounding,” Slott said, “and when you want to take something to the next level, you go, and make it look real, you go, ’hey Alex Ross, take your best shot.’ ”
On top of all that, Peter’s also got a new ride in the Spider-Mobile, redesigned by series artist Giuseppe Camuncoli, and editor Nick Lowe says, “you see it in the very first issue driving around the streets of Shanghai.” 
Peter Parker has his own tech company, has a superhero suit and a car... and with the whole Miles Morales moving into the main universe and Peter being somewhat of a Mentor figure to him, we can say that, Dan Slott wants Spider-Man to be someone else...

Peter is supposed to be the more "everyman" hero of the Marvel Universe. He is not loaded, has to struggle to make ends meet DUE to his  Superheroics. The rich captain of industry that happens to be a superhero on the side is a Tony thing... not a Pete thing. The Pete thing is going to get some milk from the convenience store at 6:30 PM and return the next day at 3:00 PM because of Supervillains attacking Times Square kind of thing.

Seems to me that Modern Marvel doesn't get Peter Parker... (and they haven't ever since Joe Quesada took over.) but this reeks of making Parker crappy so we all embrace Morales.

Jun 29, 2015

odds and ends 6/29/15 Strange stuff is happening.

Let's start with Doctor Strange... So, basically, we're seeing more of the Hollywood catering to Chinese Market. Remember Transformers 4: Too freaking long, but very Vegan since we no longer Praise God for The Beef! Well, the Whitewashing of the Ancient One and removal of Tibet from the whole Doctor Strange origin is (as much as Marvel wants to deny it) pandering to China. This still doesn't explain the Black Baron Mordo...

Stan Lee was rushed to the hospital recently. Hopefully he'll be just as careful if not more in the future. I mean, he is kinda old... Almost a Century old... Man, that is a bit scary. A world without
Stan Lee... I think I need to back away from Marvel Related stuff...

WWE Lied to me? The Big Show breaking the Ring when fighting Lesnar was a lie? But, but I saw it with my own two eyes!! Well, the fight, of course was staged, but I am surprised at the fact that the collapsing ring was staged. I mean, when I look at the video now with that knowledge, it kinda makes sense...

One decent thing that I can say about that abominable reboot... they kinda got the uniforms right... not too sure about the orange stripes.

Jun 28, 2015

damn the snipers! damn them to Hell!

Yes, this rant has a bit of sour grapes... I've lost quite a few recent auctions on ebay (during the last month) thanks to Snipers! I know that Sniping tools are legal and all that, but What the Hell, man! I'm on FREAKING EBAY looking at the auction page, watching the time tick down and suddenly out of nowhere someone bids 50 cents/a dollar higher than my maximum bid seconds before the auction ends. How can I combat that!?

WITHOUT becoming a Sniper... I can't get hooked on Pentazemin or Cigarettes to calm my already shaky hands.
There is nothing more frustrating than this... Seriously it's like getting Blue Shelled in real life!
I know that Sniping will not go away and I'll have to live on knowing that there are people out there who aren't even out there. They're fighting proxy wars and letting machines do their bidding for them. Sheesh! I'm starting to sound like a Kojima game...

In any case I'm angry... Not AVGN levels of angry but I found the perfect video to sum up my anger levels...

You win some, you lose a lot more, but Dammit! I missed out on  a *item redacted* and a *item redacted* don't get me started on *items redacted* and...

feh! This was why I had been avoiding the bay for years... In any case, I just needed to vent...

Jun 27, 2015

Events that I'm dyin' to see in FFVIIRemake!

Y'all know that I WANT to see Cloud in Drag Quest in the FFVII Remake. Now this list here is the top 11 things I want to see in the FFVII Remake that ARE From FFVII. This list will not contain stuff that are events from Advent Children, Dirge of Cerberus, or Crisis Core... UNLESS said events WERE in FFVII (to an extent, the Intro from Dirge of Cerberus is DURING FFVII) There be Spoilers of a 18 year old game ahead...

-Chocobo Farm Musical Number:

This in current gen graphics would be the bomb... also probably with MORE Chocobos!!

-Now for a more depressing note:
THAT Event... Come on! Everyone WANTS TO SEE THIS with modern day graphics...

-Traversing the Midgar Zolom breeding grounds.

This might change if they get rid of the world map... I only hope that this is preserved.

-The Secret Zack Scenes... (Kind of a Crisis Core final chapter Summary)

-Cloud's Mako Poisoning:
Back in the day, Cloud got poisoned with Mako and promoted another Squaresoft game: Xenogears!!
Cloud is referencing the song from the Game's Ending not only that he mentions the name by name Phonetically ZENOGIAS sounds like an Engrish XenoGears!
But I'm guessing we'll get a Kingdom Hearts reference... calling it here: something along the lines... Donald... Goofy... Big shoed Kid that looks like me and Aerith... with a Key... Unlock hearts... Kingdom... Hearts...

But... The Cloud Mako Poisoning scene is not complete without Tifa diving into Cloud's mind.

-Gold Saucer (mini games, date and all that crap!) but there is ONE Minigame that I want to see in Full HD...
The one where you help an animal to get laid by feeding it animal Viagra... so it can get it up and make many little animals...

Picture that in HD!!!

-I know I mentioned the Cloud in Drag quest up above, but I also want to see the very optional Corneo's revenge Quest in Wutai.

-Everyone gets wood whenever Sephiroth is mentioned. Guys get wood thinking of being LIKE Sephiroth, girls get girl wood when thinking OF Sephiroth! Spike, don't you dare post Sephiroth fan art! We may have gotten a small glimpse of this in Advent Children, but I can't wait to experience this in Full HD

-Fort Condor Battles!

No clips here because most of them take over 40 minutes to show you Cloud Riding a Dolphin to enter Junon where he dons a Shinra MP Uniform... CLOUD RIDING A DOLPHIN in HD... Need I say more?

-Last but not least: The WEAPON Kaiju

I wanna see those monstrosities in full HD... (bonus points for Tifa falling down... to piss off SJW types because boobs and a female martial artist falling. Mahogany!!)

Honorable mentions

Crisis Core took care of this scene, that's why it was skipped from the list.

Jun 24, 2015

It Came from the Toy chest: Free Hugsssss? I gotssss them. No Sssspikor though

Guess you know who is coming? Long hisssssing Sssss sounds, Free Hugs reference, and it's a Mattycollector June Item... It's Sssssqueeze: the last Snakeman

Who is he and what does he do? He's a Snakeman, though his gator head is perplexing... Then again, we have a salamander/poison dart frog, a gorgon, a Hydra and an Actual Snake on the Snakemen... Kobra Khan is not a Snakeman... So we have a Long Armed Alligator as a Snake, man!
Ssssqueeze is inspired by the Anaconda... Spike, that link better not be to a Nicki Minaj video...
But something got lost in translation and he ended up looking Gator-like. The only place where his Anaconda background isn't missing is in his action feature. After Mattel had sworn off on Bendy Material (which made us miss out on a better Slush head and Octavia) they have come back and given us a Sssqueeze with Bendy Arms...

His arm span is almost as tall as Grayskull!
Let's crack him open and review him:

From the Abs down he's the standard male MOTUC Figure with Boot Cut Articulation The arms are bendy so he has some Decent range of Articulation. Ratchet joints allow his arms to stay up... Finding balance for him is a bit hard. 5.0

Paint and Sculpt:
He's pretty much 100% new sculpt. OK he's more like 98,75% new sculpt seeing that the boots, crotch (not the loincloth) and the thigh connectors are the only seemingly old pieces on him. Paintwise he is BRIGHT!! Sadly mine has some paint chips on the right thigh armor and a bit of purple on his neck. I also dislike the flat purple he has. I'm so painting mine metallic as soon as I finish this review... or halfway through. One odd thing: The right thigh spikes seem to be glued incorrectly.

A Snake Cane... It used to be a more twisted snake in the 80s. Now Sssqueeze can feel like a sir. All he needs is a monocle and a top hat. That's it... The Mattel beancounters would say that at least he got long arms. Isn't that enough for you!? We lost our shirts, shorts and briefs in order to give you bendy arms. 1.0

Squeeze gets a 3.5 as his final score. He lacked some Ooomph! to go beyond being a slightly larger and more articulated version of the vintage figure.

Now with all that said. I wish we could have gotten SOME 200X Influences, namely the head. I hate his gator head a lot. the repainted vest and loincloth give him a nice 200X look to him. (I would have painted the boots, but disassembling these legs is a pain and I'd then need to remove the feet to put in Green Duck Feet to make him more 200X (which is outside of my limitations)

I wanted to like Sssqueeze, but I can't. Between the choices to go Straight up Vintage and my lack of nostalgic attachment to the character; I can't muster enough energy to care about the guy... Snake men are done... woohoo... Next month is 200X Begins and either Peekablue or Mara... So, basically a Rock Hard Dude and a chick... The following month is a chick and weeded out dude... and maybe I'll get some head action...
Your mind... out of the gutter NOW! I'm talking about the Head pack.

It came from the Toy Chest: Plug and play is fun... if you know what I mean!

Taking a page out of Donatello... Modulok has now his Plug and Play Robot, Multi Bot... Now if we take Mattel's Typo when Modukok was revealed and add Multibutt to the mix, we can discover that Multibot is Modulok's sex bot! It's good to know that Modulok made his sexbot gender neutral that way no one is offended by the weird sexual acts between a red Monsted and robot. Good to know that Mattel cares of not offending St.Sarkenjosh!

One crotch regluing later and he is
good as new.
Long story short: Multibot is basically Robot Modulok... You can't simply have ONE Modular Monster... you need at least TWO to have fun... With Multibot the fun has been doubled right out of the box...
Speaking of which, my first negative mark starts with getting him out of the box. The crotchpiece on one of the two robot bodies making multibot was shoddily glued together (The one with the male piece)... It disassembled while popping him out of the package. (Sadly, I took no pics before GLUING the piece back together. I'm trying NOT TO HAVE TO CALL Matty's CS for support. Having to pay to send the figure back so they send me a new one or get a refund is a bit annoying. Heard stories about them simply refunding figures instead of sending items when they HAVE the item in stock. I don't wanna risk it.)  Supergluing the crotch back into place is something I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DO...

It's very similar to Modulok, due to the combiner nature of the beast. Sadly, some of the blockier parts of him LOSE points of Articulation while the arms got one more point of articulation...
Paint and sculpt:
The sculpt is nice and he looks like an update of the vintage figure.
The paint job is crisp and clean... I kust wish that the differences in color were more obvious. The metallic accents on the arms and legs are BARELY Noticeable on him.
Guard Scorpion Multibot

Guns are compatible with Modulok's
Just Like Modulok he only has 2 gun pieces that combine. They are super gummy, but not AS Gummy as Modulok's gun. He has enough pieces to make 2. 25 figures. Also you can use ALL the pieces to make a monster with him. 5.0
Multibot's final grade is 4.67
Now here's the thing: Multibot offers a lot more possibilities than MODULOK in paper... But somehow I find him LESS FUN than MODULOK... I'm not sure if it's the finger busting edges or that his parts are so mismatched that in the end he simply looks like a mess of random parts together instead of two robots. In my final display he ended up being two separate characters. I stand corrected. He now is ONE Robot with two heads... My Horde shelf is running low on space and I need to put in Dragstor AND Callix.
 I honestly thought that forming MEGABEAST would have been the ULTIMATE FUN and make Modulok and Multibot super awesome.
It's cool, I have to admit and since I have 1.95 Moduloks and a single Multibot, I was able to create a Sweet Techno Organic Abomination!

Sadly, This achievement didn't live up to the hype. It made me realize that we NEED a Modulok/Multibot upgrade pack with more connectors and maybe new arms and legs for them that can be used for MEGABEAST!!!
 Not having enough pieces can be a huge pain in the neck that stifles some cool ideas for MEGABEAST!!!

Jun 23, 2015

We have a new Peter Parker... sorry SJWs he is WHITE!!

Tom Holland, Age: 19 is the New Peter Parker in the Combined works of Sony and the MCU.
SJWs are pissed off at this because White Man = Evil... I mean look at the amount of butthurt that the licensing agreement Marvel has with Sony brought.

The agreement spells out that mandatory Spider-Man traits must always strictly conform to the following list: male; does not torture; does not kill in defense of self or others; does not use foul language beyond PG-13; does not smoke tobacco; does not sell/distribute illegal drugs; does not abuse alcohol; does not have sex before the age of 16; does not have sex with anyone below the age of 16; and is not a homosexual (unless Marvel has portrayed that alter ego as a homosexual).

The Peter Parker character traits include: his full name is Peter Benjamin Parker; he is Caucasian and heterosexual; his parents become absent from his life during his childhood; from the time his parents become absent he is raised by Aunt May and Uncle Ben in New York City; he gains his powers while attending either middle school or college; he gains his powers from being bitten by a spider; he designs his first red and blue costume; the black costume is a symbiote and not designed by him; he is raised in a middle class household in Queens, New York; he attends or attended high school in Queens, New York; and he attends or attended college in New York City. 
Nothing Unreasonable here. It's basically describing what PETER PARKER and SPIDER-MAN should be as characters. I guess this was to avoid incredible deviations on who the characters are... Kinda wish Marvel had put a tighter leash on FOX...

So, we have an idea of what they'll do with Peter and Spidey. I did not like the idea of a younger Spidey joining the Avengers, but a 19 year old Actor playing Peter gives the studios more time to churn at least 3-4 movies before the Actor grows up too much for Spidey... I mean, Tobey Man is pushing 40 (or will be on the 27th) and Andrew Garfield is going to be 32 this August.

Now we wait until Cap 3 to see some Spidey action...

I only hope that we NEVER see Miles Morales on the MCU. We just got Parker, why in blazes we'd want to shove in his SJW friendly replacement so soon? (I'm more of a Ben Reilly fan if we ARE to replace Peter)

Jun 21, 2015

Odds and ends June 21st 2015

Oh Fathers Day!! What an odd day to give us this bit of news about the DARK FATHER being arrested due to a high speed chase... Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen Jake "Little Ani" Lloyd was arrested after a police chase... The saddest part is that as much as I want to make fun of this issue, I can't!

Seriously, It's hard to make fun of the ONLY PERSON whose Childhood was RUINED LITERALLY By George Lucas... I mean. WE the fans of Star Wars feel bad about the prequels, especially the Phantom Menace, but Jake Lloyd? Man! He has to live his WHOLE LIFE knowing that he was Little Annie Skywalker and that he helped RUIN Darth Vader to EVERYONE...

Too bad Mr. Lloyd's car driving skills aren't as good as his Pod Racing skills...

On a more positive note, Bam Margera was being an ass, or should I say Bam Margera in Iceland. He was at a music festival, when he was punched by a group of Icelanders. Allegedly the people beating up Bam are famous artists there and they were defending two female employees from Bam Margera. Supposedly, he was being Bam Margera towards the ladies.

I'm not happy for Bam getting beat up by people defending women... That is just icing on the cake. I just simply enjoy it when people beat up Bam Margera, even if there is no reason for it... I just can't stand the guy and since he enjoys being an ass, then the consequences are more delightful!
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to watch videos of Bam Margera getting beat up while listening to appropriate music

OK, now that I restored faith on humanity, I'll end this on a sadder note. Super awesome artist, Earl Norem passed away last Friday. Norem, known for his awesome artistic style that is reminiscent of Frank Frazetta's, was/is in the minds and hearts of many Masters of the Universe fans.
From all the way back to the 1980s, Earl Norem's art has been a source of awe, inspiration and in some cases NIGHTMARES to many Masters of the Universe fans...
Heck! Norem's work in MOTU is so inspirational that the Snake Body missing from the King Hsss vs Snake Armor He-Man WILL NOT BE BASED on the 200X King Hsss, but instead it's closer to Earl Norem's amazing (and downright scary to 1980s me) King Hsss Art that you can see on the left.

He has worked with Marvel (IIRC he did some work on the Conan comics...) Silver Surfer, not to Mention Transformers, and obviously He-Man and She-Ra.
Yes, Earl Norem also made some work for the "frou frou pink Girly Toyline" for Mattel.

  Earl Norem could make a Pink Alicorn look badass!

Bringing it to MOTUC Classics. Remember the lame ass excuse by Neitlich about "The Classicizer Machine"?

 Earl Norem's Art is THE REAL CLASSICIZER MACHINE at work!

 The angular, blocky style of the 200X Toys were converted into a more traditional style in this piece by Norem.

  He will be sorely missed by Transformers fans, Marvel Fans, Masters of the Universe fans and his family...

Good Journey, Mr. Norem!

List of Deadbeat Dads

Father's Day is here and it's a great day to spend with your father, or father figure... Unfortunately, not all fathers are available in father's day... In some cases, they may have passed away, in others both the father and child have reached a mutual agreement of not spending time together due to differences (being stubborn jackasses both of them), but in some cases, the father wasn't there...

So here is my list of popular deadbeat fathers:

I'm starting off this deadbeat dad countdown with Jack, better known as Naked Snake or Big Boss.
The man thought his children were abominations. He even tried to get one of his sons killed during a Military Operation... Eventually the son killed him with a can of hairspray and a lighter.

As you can see they eventually make up and have a smoke together before Big Boss kicks the bucket.

Next on My list of Deadbeat dads is none other than the most popular deadbeat dad in fiction.

Do I NEED to explain why he's a deadbeat dad? Becoming an evil asthmatic cyborg space monk is not an excuse to NOT raise your kids... Especially when one of them is growing up IN YOUR HOME PLANET, CARRIES YOUR LAST NAME, BEING RAISED BY YOUR STEPBROTHER, AND THE KID IS BEING WATCHED BY OLD BEN KENOBI... WHOSE LAST NAME SHOULD BE FAMILIAR TO YOU, BECAUSE HE'S YOUR FREAKING TEACHER THAT MAULED YOU IN MUSTAFAR! freaking Idiot!

Third on my list is Hojo of ShinRa and the last character from my Messed Up Dads rant This time I'm adding Darth Vader...

Scummy Scientist who created Sephiroth. While he was "around" Sephiroth. he was never a "father", more like a scientist checking on his Experiment.

Fourth on My list of deadbeat dads?

Blame Bryan Singer's Superman Returns. It takes a dump on what is Superman and makes him into a stalker deadbeat dad.

Last on my list, because I'm keeping it a short one:

He-Man himself...
He is the one to blame for He-Man being a deadbeat dad.
On the Awful Neitlichverse comic, we discover that He-Man had a son that he somehow knew he had one all along and never came to check on his wife and kid for 15 years?

List is over and now here's a message from Guile:

Jun 20, 2015

Shenmue vs the World

Yes, this is another Shenmue 3 rant,but it's not so much about the game this time. During the past few days, there has been a huge campaign against the game and asking people to not donate or withdraw their donations on Kickstarter... The usual (un)ethical suspects (from the Gamers are dead "articles") chimed in... Hell even Playboy is against Chang Moo 3! Yes, THAT Playboy...

This video explains the Shenmue issue a lot better than I would. But I know some people will not bother to watch a 20+ minutes video about a guy talking about Shenmue, so here's the short version:

While SONY is "helping Suzuki-san", they are NOT funding the development of the game. At most they're handling Marketing. Kickstarter is where most of the development money is coming from.

That makes sense since Shenmue 3 is a game that has been in development Hell for 14 years. SEGA's financial state after the death of the Dreamcast didn't help matters. The Original XBox got the sequel to SEGA's Shenmue, but the XBox was not the proper console to release this game. (The average XB user was more into shooters/sports games than a sequel to a somewhat slow paced VERY Japanese game.) The sales for the game on XBox weren't good enough to get a Shenmue 3.

So, no SEGA, no Microsoft, obviously Nintendo didn't even wanted to touch the thing. For 14 years, Shenmue was pretty much dead... I mean there were memes made out of waiting for Shenmue 3. I even heard the one about Godot being the one bringing the game. (not talking about the White haired Caffeine addicted Cyclops visor using Lawyer.)  So now Sony is helping to bring back this glorious series from the Ashes like a Phoenix, but we have Dickweeds like Ben Kucaracha from Kraptaku shooting the game down.

Shenmue started as a SEGA Saturn game...

Which according to this video was basically covering BOTH SHENMUE games so maybe there were TWO Saturn games and two Dreamcast games... which could easily explain the larger budget.
Back then SEGA had to build up a new Engine to make the game, but Shenmue 3 would use the already built Unreal 4 Engine. This would cut a chunk of the development costs. That's why they can go cheaper than $40 Million.

The thing is: Whatever the deal made with SONY (which we are most likely to never find out the details due to legal red tape), we cannot simply say: Eh, screw this! Sony's paying!  and retract donations, because we could fail the kickstarter and not get Shenmue 3 forever.

But let's suppose that on a BEST CASE SCENARIO SONY IS matching up budget and they'll match whatever Suzuki gets via kickstarter. So, (as of now we have) $3,457,227 and if SONY is matching up what they'll give to Suzuki, that means that we'd have $6,914,454 from KS and SONY for Suzuki to use on Shenmue. The more we gather through Kickstarter, the better.

Now, just because it COULD BE like in the best case scenario doesn't mean that it is like that.
Right now all we can do is try to collect as much as we can for the game to be made. Don't let these asshats who want to see shenmue crash and burn win! I mean, these idiots would rather have you buy GONE HOME... IN SPACE!! and no I'm not making that up... The people who made Gone Home are making a non-game that is basically Gone Home in Space... Wonder what will be the SJW friendly twist in the story?

It Came from the Toy Chest: El Futuro es de Spider-Man

Batman has gone Beyond, but before that Spider-Man went into the futuristic 2099... Like the Bats from the Future, this Spidey is NOT Parker... This is another man who gained Spider-Powers and began to emulate the Spider-Man of the "Heroic Age"... Or that's a hyper simplified version of Miguel O'Hara's story. (Yes, he's Half Latino and Half Irish... Before mixed raced heroes were cool)

He is another figure of the Hobknocker wave... (DD and Anti-Venom would be the only others I want.)

Before I comment on the Figure Itself, I need to get something out of my back:
Since when is Scott Neitlich working for Hasbro? I thought he was at Jakks Pacific. Now before some Hardcore Scott Neitlich fan comes knocking and attack me for making fun of his inability to remember correct names... I AM Making fun of his inability to remember correct names of characters ESPECIALLY when dealing with NINTENDO Characters.

When you say that Sheamus and Gandalf are Nintendo characters instead of Samus Aran and Ganondorf, heads will roll. I'm surprised no one committed Sudoku over it!

Now without Further ado, let's take a look at Miguel O'Hara: The Spider-Man of the Future!!

The Articulation on 2099 is CLOSER to Toy Biz Articulation than Hasbro Articulation. Seeing as he is a Spider-Man character, I put him through the Spidey pose test. As an added bonus, I tried to mimic the Marvel Super Heroes Spider-Man pose with both figures. I got a close enough pose from both of them. something I could not do with Ben Reilly or Spider-Girl!

Here he gets a 4.0 out of 5.
Even the cape, which is a piece of plastic, can be posed in a few different poses. I just wish it had a hinge for some windblown poses.

Paint and Sculpt:
Paintwise, he's mostly a hit. After opening him, I did notice a bit of slop on the Dia de Los Muertos Spider-suit, but that can be chalked up to a little battle damage. Painting the reds in a flat color with the blues being metallic is a cool idea. It makes the suit look like it shimmers like spandex.
The sculpt is pretty good, but the crotch piece and upper thighs do not work as well. The thighs look better than true balljoints, but they are less functional. That crotch piece is Ug-Ly!
For that he gets a 4.0 out of 5.

He comes with a flaming sword and an arm for Hobknocker. The sword I'll give to Custom me! the arm? To the parts bin!
3.0 out of 5. Kinda wish he had gotten a second set of hands.

Spider-Man 2099 gets a 3.67 out of 5 as his final score. He's a decent figure, with better range of motion than Spider-Girl, but he needed to be 20% cooler.

Jun 18, 2015

odds and ends 6/18/15 More 'mue and FFremake VII stuff... plus other stuff.

Final Fantasy VII Remake will have changes. I've ranted about how some POSSIBLE CHANGES scare me... Well, One of them will not happen. In an interview with Eurogamer, Tetsuya Nomura has stated that we should LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING CLOUD IN DRAG!!

Loving the fact that we'll see one of the most messed up moments in Final Fantasy VII due to the absurdity of it. This is the part where Cloud and Aerith go through town getting stuff to help Cloud dress up like a woman hot enough to bring the attention of the town's mobster Don Corneo in order to rescue Cloud's friend, Tifa (who is looking to get some info from the Don.)

Now if we could get a Lightning Outfit for Cloud... That would be hilarious... It would be perfect since it matches the whole Lightning as Cloud from FFXIII-3

(Need to finish XIII, but I don't wanna)

Seriously, I try to play XIII and my soul forces power outages, drains the controller's battery, makes my bosses call me for extra hours, or anything to stop me from playing the game.

Hopefully this will also translate into more FFVII Figures (Need a VII Barret, Cid and Cait Sith) Also a Tifa with Squishy boobs!! What? Quiet has them, why not the Final Fantasy character known for her Martial Arts Boobs!

With 29 days to go the Shenmue Kickstarter total so far is (by the time of writing this rant):
Now, the stretch goals seem to be running out... We're so getting the Rapport System and nearly 300K short of the Skill Tree Goal. If the Campaign reaches $5Million before the end of the Kickstarter period, we'll get a much more expanded Baisha Village.

In two days, Shenmue fans have done more than the impossible. They have MADE Shenmue 3 something Real and not a Fantasy that deluded Dreamcast owners dreamt as the console died (myself included). I HOPE we reach the $5Million in order to get the Shenmueiest experience of the game.

E3 2015 has been a rollercoaster so far... Of course we need to have some douchenozzles be Party Poopers and whine about it... I'm talking about Princess Plaid and her Dumbapple sidekick/writer/producer.

Funny how she used this other fool to campaign that "she is NOT Jack Thompson" a few months back.

But her rhetoric (and her Dumbapple partner/puppeteer/alpaca's?) is VERY Internet version of Jack Thompson-esque...

Just leaving this here... a snippet of an actual interview TO Jack Thompson... where Whacko Jacko! No, not that one! I'm talking about Jack Thompson... Where was I? Oh yeah, a snippet of an interview where Jack Thompson seems to make more sense than Princess Plaid? That is sad...

It's THESE kinds of tweets that piss people off and tell her to piss off. (which she claims they're harassment in order to get money.) Now, these kinds of tweets show how much pro-censorship they really are. Before I hear: "They're not campaigning for censorship, just criticizing the violence" BS-Excuse, shut up! Their Anti-Violence stance and ridiculous criticism of AAA titles is one of their tools to appeal to game developers. (I'd say more like guilt-tripping them into games that the SocJu$ folks would like better.)

Now, don't get me wrong. There is enough audience for ALL kinds of games... (including the SocJu$friendly non-fun games...) but to bitch and moan about the Violence in Freaking DOOM! That is beyond ridiculous! I mean, it's FREAKING DOOM! How can a story about a Space Marine sent to Literally Hell and fight off demons be made WITHOUT VIOLENCE!?

This level of extreme violence shouldn't be considered normal. It's not an excuse to say it's expected because DOOM. That's the problem.
This tweet IS problematic. She's trying to paint games like Doom (which are not catered to children) as a problem because of their violent content. When paired up with her sidekick's tweets, we can see the whole picture.

This shit is sick. There is something deeply deeply seriously wrong with anyone cheering for this Doom 4 trailer.

But they are not Jack Thompson... No, they are much worse. Unlike Jack Thompson who got his fair share of criticism as well as hate mail (some of it unjustified), these two are put on a pedestal, where they can't be criticized because they have spun the narrative where ANY Criticism = Harassment.
Am I the only one who sees how they're painting gamers as disturbed individuals? Remember that these two are the ones painting gamers in a bad light in order to get money because of harassment. (they got over $400K with that scheme in the last quarter of 2014)

Well, it's good to know that she keeps messing up when talking crap about games...

Let's see: Lara trudging through snow while wearing a jacket is happening FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER in XBOne's Rise of the Tomb Raider...

This has never happened before... Not even on the PS1 Era games like say Tomb Raider 2:

Suddenly the not a gamer theory begins to make sense.

See the problem here? We have two people who are not fans of videogames, who would rather take the fun out of gaming to put propaganda that fits with their agenda. People who have gotten nearly half a million dollars for talking crap on Youtube and Twitter and instead of putting their efforts to prove if their kind of game would sell by MAKING A VIDEOGAME, they just bitch and moan about Doom being violent...  We didn't want an ambulance chaser dictating what we can enjoy in our free time. Why are we letting a glorified YoutubePooper and a teleseminarist... (currently more of a webinar "artist") try to dictate what games we should enjoy?

Honestly I can't wait to taste SJW tears when the Cloud in Drag from the FFVII remake happens in FULL HD!

Jun 17, 2015

Things I fear about the FFVII Remake:

I'm so excited about the FFVII Remake, but like Jessie Spano I'm so scared of the Remake...
So here's a list of things that terrify me:

-New Battle System (like the horrid FFXIII system that took control away from me.) It needs to have at least the option of the Original Game's battle system.
-Death of the World Map...

Are you ready to say goodbye to these two themes? If the World Map is gone, these themes ARE Gone too!
-Aerith... No thith ith not about how her name ith thpelled. More about her death, possibility of it being more bloody... But there ith thomething I fear more...

But the one thing I fear the most is:
The death of Silly and UN-PC elements of the games because of pandering to SJWs like Princess Plaid, OR because Nomura's Super Cereal take on Cloud.
The VII Cloud, the Real Cloud is a dweeb. The "Cool Cloud" is a JENOVA Construct based on Cloud's perception of a SOLDIER 1st Class and Zack. Cloud really shines when the dweeb shows through the cracks of Super Cereal Cloud.

Nomura's super cereal Cloud could mean the end of the Wall Market Cross-Dressing segment (Which in a way would be pandering to SJWs)
and kill the potential of seeing this whole quest in HD.

Also, wanna miss out on Cloud Riding on a Dolphin?

Last but not least: Tifa's Chest will suffer...

Jun 15, 2015

Let's help Suzuki-sama give us Shenmue 3!

Mid-December 2000. I finished half of my finals on that semester... I had saved some pocket money for about 3-5 months and was enough for a Dreamcast, a VMU and Shenmue. The game had a faulty disc 3... I figured that out 3 days after buying the game. (I was THAT into the game). I had the game exchanged for a new one and beat the game in two weeks. (second half of my finals forced a slight delay.) I kept revisiting the game all the way to 2014... I was able to play the European version of the Second Game by using a PAL copy and a boot disc. (Huge Pain in the neck! Boot discs can be a bit finicky.) and I was stuck in the cave for 14 years...

Well, now there is a SLIM CHANCE for Shenmue 3 to happen on PS4 and PC... Or PC and PS4, or at least PC...

Kickstarter to the Rescue! We have 31 days to reach the goal of

Sorry Dr. Evil you missed the amount by

Yes, Yu Suzuki needs $2,000,000.00 by July 17th, 2015 in order to be able to make Shenmue 3...
The Kickstarter started today and by the time of this rant being written, Suzuki-sama has received:
$812,399 out of the $2,000,000.00 needed to achieve this goal... Looks like I MAY NEED to get a PS4 afterall... First FFVII, then Shenmue... I'd ask for a Xenogears HD remake, but that would be pushing it.

My body is ready for current gen version of this:

but in China...

Now just because the campaign has gotten a bit short of HALF of the total goal on Day 1 doesn't mean that we can rest easily. We still have a long way to go... Especially with the possibility of the game being bigger through the expansions IF we go beyond the $2Million goal. Hopefully a physical PS4 copy is on the horizon.

Update: 38 minutes later and it reached the $1Million!
Update 2: nearly 7 hours later after I went to bed and Shenmue had reached the Million, THIS Happened:
pledged of $2,000,000 goal

Holy Crap! We reached the normal Goal in less than 24 Hours... But SEGA believes that the Future is more Sanic.
If you'll excuse me, there is something I must do... Look for sailors...
Update 3:
Whoa! That's nearly 2.5 MILLION dollars in LESS than 24 hours.
Meanwhile, some people (with Hula Hoops on their ears) will probably whine about Patriarchy and how a man getting nearly 2.5 million in less than a day is Misogyny.

There is a chance of a True PS4 Return to Midgar?

Remember when Squenix teased us with a port of the PC game port of FFVII?
Well, the Rumor Mill has been going on strong once again talking about 2017, the 20th Anniversary of FFVII (damn, I suddenly feel old) will have a release that I've been waiting for since 1997...

Final Fantasy VII Remade on the PS4!!

I don't want to jump the gun, because we HAVE been fooled before... but still a PS4 Remake of FFVII sounds so sweet! Now I wonder what extras could Square add to it that DO NOT INVOLVE DLC!?

-Alternative outfits. I'm guessing AC looks for everyone... (I'd like as a joke to have the cast wear VIII clothes: Cloud as Squall, Tifa as Zell, Aerith as Rinoa, Yuffie as Selphie, Vincent as Irvine. Barret as Laguna, Cid as Ward, Cait Sith as Moomba and Sephiroth as Seifer... We got to see Lightning as Cloud or Aerith)
-Extra boss Battles: Sure the WEAPONs are nice and all that, but people want extra challenges... I propose having "Guardians" protecting the Materia Caves and Gilgamesh is guarding KOTR...
-Extra Summon Materia... Gilgamesh, once again comes to mind. Heck! I'd make the 4 Guardians of the Materia caves be summons that can be earned in battle.
-I want to see the full map like in 7 but with the extra places like the ruins of Banora (maybe an extra boss there.) or Modeoheim from Crisis Core. (Extra dialogue could be added to Cloud while he pretends to be Zack AND after he recovers when visiting this former town)

Holy shit! crap! It's actually happening...

I just couldn't finish my rant when SURPRISE!! Final Fantasy VII IS GETTING A REMAKE!!

A Sequel/Retcon 65 years in the making?

I'm still not sure if the events of The Lost World and JP3 happened in this timeline. All I know is that InGen went ahead and opened up the park after the Isla Nublar incident... Now I'm not sure if this movie is in Book continuity or film Continuity... (In the books people that survive the movie die.)

Really? IF the events of the previous 2 movies happened, I'm surprised that ANYONE allowed InGen to open up the park. If the last two movies were erased, then NDAs signed by Doctors Grant, Sattler and Malcolm would stop them from revealing what happened at the Original Park. Now, going through the JP wiki, apparently the movies happened, so San Diego happened. Now to be fair. In movie canon, Hammond dies (I guess between San Diego and JP3) and another company acquires InGen and the Park is opened.

The park seems to have been open for a while and the geniuses behind the park try to make Dinos more Marketable by creating a new creature... The Indominus Rex: the Super Gene Spliced Dino, even more Gene Spliced than the Dino/Frog hybrids from the Park Era (this is used as an explanation on WHY the dinos are not 100% true to newer discoveries about Dinosaurs' appearance such as Feathers on Raptors, etc...)

Long story short: Super Dino escapes her pen. Chaos ensues and 2 kids are involved. It's up to Lady in the Water and Star Lord to rescue the children and stop the Dinosaur rampage... There's something about Netflix's Kingpin, but I won't go into spoilers... Doctor Wu from the Park era comes back and  *spoilers redacted*
We will never be as cool as Chris Pratt riding a bike with Velocirraptors!

Also, Our friend makes a comeback... I'll let the Nostalgia Critic spoil who I'm talking about:

You can't have a Jurassic Park movie without her! and yes, this song will blare in your head when she comes out!

The movie is freaking amazing... But it's not perfect. Aside from Chris Pratt and Vincent D'Onofrio, the human characters are meh! Almost as if they were mostly 2D pawns that move the story forward.
There is something off about B.D. Wong's Doctor Wu... I can't quite put my finger on it without spoilers, The "Hammond Wannabe" was borderline Cartoony. The Office guy with the JP shirt was OK, but had very little scenes. The children weren't as bad as the JPIII kid, but they pulled off some BS-Stunts that not even JPIII kid can compete. Last but not least, Dallas Bryce Howard was playing an unlikable character that becomes tolerable on the third act... (Surviving a Dino Incident on Isla Nublar on a skirt and high heels broke my suspension of disbelief.)

The movie was a bit TOO self-referential and part of it felt like a rush-job to set up a sequel...

We then have the Ridin' with the Raptor bros!
And D'Onofrio's idea to make Velocirraptors into  America's daring, highly trained
special mission force.
It's purpose, to defend human freedom against Cobra. a ruthless, terrorist organization determined to rule the world.

But JW never gets as bad as JPIII

I guess now I'll wait for the sequel... Jurassic Galaxy... In space no one can hear the dinos coming...

Jun 14, 2015

It came from the Toy Chest F-You Joe Quesada!

I rarely say that I hate people and REALLY MEAN IT, but Joe Quesada is an exception. Joe Quesada is a douchebag who has too much power in Marvel and screwed everything up for Peter Parker. Joe Quesada is the moron behind One More Day, among other bad choices made in Marvel... He may have done some good, but MANDATING that Mr. Great Power/Great Responsibility had to make a highly irresponsible deal with the devil in order to annul his marriage to Mary Jane and become a perennial loser living with Aunt May is DAMN HORRIBLE! I'm talking Uwe Boll levels of HORRIBLE! He deserves to have rotten eggs broken inside his shoes. someone to pee and take a dump on his cornflakes. have him take a shower with raw sewage, and replace his toothpaste with hemorrhoid cream. Also that may the fleas of a thousand camels infest his nose hairs. Heh... Looks like I've Mellowed out with age.

So, I bought another Spider-Man related Marvel Legends figure (I thought I had quit this line when MOTUC started) I'm talking about the Marvel Legend figure from the Little MC2 Comic that could...
Spider-Girl: Daughter of Spider-Man and Mary Jane Watson! That's why I got her, because the MC2 was a huge F-You to Jokesada.

Let's take a crack at Spider-Girl from the Hobknocker wave...

Paint and Sculpt:
Painted Weblines... I hate those. In a few years they'll fade away if displayed in action dioramas...
I also have sloppy paint splotches on her left foot... BOO!!
Sculptwise, she looks nice, but with a smooth body for reuse with other characters... I guess I'm in the minority, but I prefer Etched Web lines on Spidey figures. She kinda looks like a Teenage Girl wearing a slightly modified Ben Reilly Spider-Man Suit.
Due to the sloppy paints and not as detailed sculpt she gets a 3.0

She has Hobknocker crap that I don't care about. 3.0 Now, I know that NORMALLY, Marvel Legends figures do not come with accessories, but in this day and age, not having accessories (or at least Extra hands so it doesn't look like May is shooting webs all the time. (There's a Spidey figure on this wave with extra hands, pizza and a partly unmasked face to eat said pizza) Heck maybe some WEBBING would have helped spice her up a little bit.
I'm saving the worst for last:
She has similar Articulation to Black Cat, except the head has a bit more range. That brings me to my main issue with the Articulation:
A Character as flexible a Spider-Man, or in this case Spider-Girl deserves a figure with ENOUGH Articulation to DO WHATEVER A SPIDER-CAN!! Something that MAY DAY PARKER CANNOT DO. I tested TWO traditional Spidey Poses and May Failed MISERABLY... One looks like she is pleasuring herself and the other looks like she is showing off her Spider-Butt. Her legs pop off if you try to do wider stances, making her leg articulation NEARLY USELESS!! 2.0

May gets a 2.67 as her final score. This is REALLY BAD for a figure that is supposed to be as amazing as her daddy. Hell! even the lame figure of Clone Daddy is leagues and bounds better than May! (Can't wait to get Scarlet Spider from the Rhino wave. He at least has Extra hands!) The figure is a disappointment. Black Cat was swinging the pendulum towards returning to ML once MOTUC was over, but May swung it back all the way to "Fuhgettaboutit! No ML for me!" I don;t care about this design of Hobgoblin, but I bought May more for what she stands for than what she actually is... I am almost tempted to get 2099 and Anti Venom as nods to Edge of time. Liked the story, hated the game...

Jun 13, 2015

Holy Panda Ring, Batman! MLP#100 was Bronytastic!

I can't even BEGIN to describe this Episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, but you KNOW I WILL, because house of rants and all that.

The episode synopsis:
Cranky Doodle and Matilda are getting married. The Mane 6 are busy fighting a bugbear, so it's Brony Pandering time!

Derpy Hooves!
The Big Letrotski!
Steven Magnet!
Doctor Hooves!
Lyra and Bon Bon shipping! (in code, because for kids!)
Octavia and Vinyl Scratch as the Odd Couple!
Tubs of Jelly colt!
Button Mash!
Princess Cadance and Shining Armor!
Part of Octavia and Vinyl's song kinda sounds a bit like the Trololo song!

(1:10 mark)
References to Friendship Problems solved in about 30 minutes!
What is Man!? (as in Humans...)
AND he says Allons-Y!
Derpy and the Doctor... sounds familiar... Also, doesn't this
house look a bit Time And Relative Dimensions In Space to you?

But the insanest part of the episode?

The insanest thing is that this fanservice episode actually WORKS! (I'd totally watch a Doctor Hooves spin-off!)

Jun 11, 2015

Dammit Haley Joel Osment SEE BIEBER!! Or at least the GB Reboot...

Why did you have to see Ansem the Wise, Count Dooku, Count Dracula, Francisco Scaramanga, Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Catheter, Lucifer, Fu Manchu... OK, all of these are characters played by an even more interesting man. Fighting Nazis, Actor, Metalhead? Yes... Christopher Lee was so badass that he even made a Metal Album about Charlemagne.

Unfortunately, the great Christopher Lee has passed away. He was 93 years old... He lived a long and amazing life. I do not know if he ever knew how many lives did he touch through his works. My first experience with Dracula was Dracula has Risen from the Grave. (I respect Bela, but Lee was my first.) Horror movie fans, Metal Fans, Movie fans in general and Kingdom Hearts fans will miss him.

Gah! Dammit Haley Joel Osment! Stop watching WWE!
I guess the Titantron in the sky is playing the following theme

in memory of a Legend of Wrestling, Dusty Rhodes. The American Dream has passed away at 69

Ugh! Thor is the new Janine in the Awful GB Reboot... The ugh! is not towards Mr. Hemsworth, who is a decent actor... (any actor that can make scenes work with Perennially Constipated K-Stew is at least decent.) it's directed towards Paul Feig's unnecessary gender flipped reboot of GB.

MOTU 2016 rebranding thoughts on Variants of A-Listers.

Yes, I've ranted about this already. I suspect DC Comics, 200X and Filmation designs seeping through as a way to refresh the A-Listers we already have.
I know I said that simple repaints are a VERY LAZY way to do refreshes. Now that does not mean that they CANNOT MAKE SOME VARIANTS with parts they ALREADY Have in their parts library.

Seriously, Mattel Pretty much has EVERYTHING to make a Filmation He-Man with very little new tooling...
Seems like a Perfect Chase Figure For Mattel.
The only new pieces would be head and harness (and they COULD get away with reusing Oo-Larr's Hair on the normal He-Man head, as seen here.)
A slight repaint and some different parts can make vanilla He-Man pop.

If Mattel plays it smart with some of the "Refreshes" and do some Creative Parts reuse from their Parts Library, they CAN get away with some figures that use VERY LITTLE NEW TOOLING to compensate for the figures that need LOTS of new tooling. Believe me, we'll NEED to see some figures that didn't make the cut in MOTUC with LOTS of New tooling to make some of the doubters (myself included) bite.

In other cases, like say 200X or DC versions of some characters, reusing Vintage Bracers/Armor with a Preternia loincloth won't cut it, thanks to Club 200X AND the Amazing Snake Armor He-Man. Or Teela's dress in Evil Lyn's case. With SDCC less than a month away, the anticipation is growing stronger. Right now, I'm afraid... VERY Afraid, because 2016 is a whole new world. With the end of Vintage in 2015, the cushion to fall back is now gone. The inevitable A-Listers that will return NEED to wow people... If the 2016 line doesn't make it, then Classics is a nice way to celebrate MOTU...

And a Company I HATE (Ubisoft) has a brand new game that Features MOTUC He-Man...
I honestly have no idea how to feel about this... It looks like a Tower Defense game, so it's not a "TRUE He-Man game" and it's UBISOFT... Known for quality games...

But it's promoting MOTUC, maybe that can help for 2016... Who knows if some of the stuff in the game (like the Dragon Walker) is something that may come in the Theoretical 2016 line... We'll know at SDCC...

Jun 9, 2015

Odds and ends June 9 2015: Powerpuff Betrayal, Punisher and stuff...

The city of Townsville... has gotten new Powerpuff Girls and the Original girls are a bit upset about it!
So, the new Reboot/Continuation of Powerpuff Girls is coming to Cartoon Network.in 2016. Still not sure if it's a reboot or a continuation.
They got the Original Narrator and that's about it... No E.G. Daily, Catherine Cavadini, nor Tara Strong for this project... HELL, according to the OG PPG, they weren't EVEN ASKED to reprise their roles! Then there's the whole rumor about the PPG's creator Craig McCracken (Mr. Lauren Faust IIRC) is not even involved...

I don't want to sound like an asshat that is wishing ill towards the show's cast, but I'm 78% certain that this will not do well... PPG isn't OLD enough to feel nostalgic about, especially when the show IS ON BOOMERANG. The possible excuse that the VAs are too old to play young girls is BS since, these ladies DO a lot of VA work. Two of them have done BABIES for years! Then again, Frank Welker is nearly 70 and to this day he STILL VOICES The Teenager/Young Adult Fred Jones from Scooby Doo!

I IMDB'd the new PPG and I've pretty much seen NONE of their work, so I don't know if this is a good or bad thing.

I wish we could get Daredevil on DVD because my internet connection is not that great to stream a show WITHOUT having BUFFERING PAUSES. That is the main reason why I don't have Netflix.  Remember my Gone Home rant? We're no longer friends and she was the only person in my rather small circle of friends who has Netflix, would sit with me and watch movies, while I rambled and ranted whenever something stupid happens on screen, pause them to take notes for the House of Rants,etc. OK, she did some ranting too! Not to mention that her Internet connection is way faster than mine, which allowed her to watch movies on Netflix WITHOUT buffering pauses,
Why did the Friendship stop? My stance regarding Princess Plaid and her Professional Victimhood. She drank the Listen and Believe Kool-Aid and disagreement = soggy knee. So, my current door to complete watching the First season has closed... Unless Marvel and Netflix do the DVD thing. I mean Daredevil is #2 in the Most Pirated Shows list, #1 is obviously My Little Pony: friendship is Magic Game of Thrones. So, there is reason to believe that the show IS Good... based on the 1.5 episodes I saw, I must say yes.

Where was I? Oh yeah! Season 2 Daredevil news. We're not getting The Transporter  as Bullseye. But we ARE Getting another Marvel Character... Wears Black and shoots crap! Freaking PUNISHER!!

Crystal Pepsi may be making a comeback...

Jun 8, 2015

Uwe Boll acts like a petulant child... again!

He failed yet another crowd sourcing campaign for another Uwe Boll Film. Which is not really news, since he tends to fail reaching his goals through crowdsourcing. His latest project was Rampage 3... Yeah, I'm surprised that a 2 exists...

It's funny how he calls Marvel's Avengers some BS Dirt, seeing as he is the guy who butchers Video Game movies, which in theory is as BS Dirt as Comic book movies. I'm detecting a huge case of sour grapes here.

More sour grapes with a hint of racism... He's pissed off at big name celebrities who didn't endorse his Darfur movie. Dude! The name UWE BOLL is associated with CRAP! Most people with common sense will avoid you like the plague. Not to mention that THAT is the job of their agents and legal team. (Actors are their own brand and they need to take the necessary precautions to protect their brand.) He bitches about the successful movie people, while claiming he has integrity... He has no integrity, he HAD weird loopholes in German Tax laws that allowed him to make flop after flop.

Grow up, Uwe Boll!

DC is stuck with Mattel for a few more years.

Finally some sort of GOOD news for Mattel after losing the Disney License. DC Comics renewed their license for a few years WITH Mattel. Then again, what else could they do? Go to Hasbro? The Mouse wouldn't be too happy if Hasbro started making toys for their biggest competitor.
Playmates? They only seem to do TMNT Toy and occasionally they do some Star Trek toys.
Jakks Pacific?


To be honest, DC had very little choices here. Does this have an effect on my toy collecting? Not really, since I never TRULY got into DCUC and that line is dead. I don't care about total heroes. Personally I think they are crappy looking. The 4 inch line is meh at best. (That is Hasbro's domain)
Unless they start making DC Characters using the MOTUC Buck, or "parts that are not MOTUC but are compatible with MOTUC" I won't be paying too much attention to Mattel's DC offerings.

Jun 7, 2015

Mattel will fail us, according to Neil deGrasse Tyson.

I, of course am talking about the Hoverboard... Mattel already failed us once, by making the overpriced TOY that was so bad that Bob Gale apologized for it. So, according to Super Science Master, Neil deGrasse Tyson, the Hoverboard, as we see on the movies is not feasible. 

To be honest, this is not news. It astounds me that I had to SEE THIS as a bit of news on my homepage. The Logistics involved to make a Hoverboard work on normal roads would be astonishing... Think about it: It's like Turning ALL the roads into something similar to Maglev Monorail Tracks. That apparently costs a lot. Not to mention a way to make it work like real roads and not like an oversized Hovering Slot car racetrack:

Not to mention that all the extra power needed to run the Citywide Hover roads could make the city's power grid be overloaded. (I'm keeping it City scaled, because National Scale would be a logistical nightmare.)

The thing that scares me is using wormholes to travel... How can NdGT jump from Hoverboards not feasible to Freaking Wormholes!? I'm guessing the Logistics for those are horrible...

Jun 6, 2015

It Came from the Toy Chest: This flower wasn't 1 gil...

December 9, 1997: 
It was an overcast night, I had no homework... It was almost two weeks since I got a new TV... My first TV with kickass faux wood paneling had died when I reached Cosmo Canyon. I tore through Nibelheim and Rocket Town very easily. The past few days at the Temple of the Ancients were driving me insane. Damn that clock puzzle!! I ended up photocopying a FFVII Walkthrough from a Gamepro Magazine at the school library... (Internet wasn't as popular back in the day... also Dial-Up is a bitch!) So, I Finally beat the Temple of the Ancients and that Dickweed Cloud handed over the Black Materia to Sephiroth*
*=Not Really Sephiroth but Jenova disguised as Sephiroth. Remember, the Real Villain of FFVII is Jenova, not Sephiroth.

My younger brother had Martial Arts Class today, so I recorded today's playthrough for him to watch the day after (when I'd be at Martial Arts Class...) SO I Finally reached the City of the Ancients... My heart was racing... Locker room talk about the game kinda hinted the inevitable... Remember that I got the game about a month after it came out. I was a bit nervous... I managed to reach the City's innermost temple... There I saw a save point... Usually these mean trouble is nearby if found in a dungeon. This is kind of a town, so there should be no trouble... I thought.

My eyes watered up, I got goosebumps, I felt my rage fill up, heating up my body. My breathing became irregular as I was snorting, then the Dialogue hit me hard...
Cloud:. "Shut up. The cycle of nature and your stupid plan don't mean a thing.
Aerith is gone. Aerith will no longer talk, no longer laugh, cry...... or get
angry...... What about us...... what are WE supposed to do? What about my pain?
My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning!"
Sephiroth: "What are you saying? Are you trying to tell me you have feelings too?"
Cloud: "Of course! Who do you think I am!?"
Sephiroth: "Ha, ha, ha...... Stop acting as if you were sad. There's no need to
act as though you're angry either. Because, Cloud. You are..."

The same feelings that Cloud was going through were similar to mine... Empathy with a fictional character? No way! I then went to beat the living crap out of JENOVA Life and reached the end of Disc 1. I had to stop there because we had to pick up my brother from Martial Arts Class. I asked the Sensei if I could hit the sandbag for a little while. He gave me the OK and I released all the pent up anger I had at Sephiroth into that sand bag. My brother says that my face seemed darker and full of hate. (In retrospection he's only seen me that way twice. The more recent time was during a high risk situation.) I'm normally a laid back kind of guy, except when I'm posting my rants where I ham it up a little bit, mostly for fun. Not that day... SF Fans would say I tapped into the Satsui no Hadou. All I ended up was bloody knuckles and a dead Aeris... which is the reason why I'm ranting today...

I FINALLY got myself an Aerith Gainsborough figure from Play Arts... IN HER FFVII ATTIRE!! Crisis Core Aerith is cheaper, but I wanted standard VII and that's what I got... Although, a CC Cloud would be nice.
Let's check her out:

Scale comparison with other figures.
Just by looking at her, you already are thinking: She has a lot of limitations due to her dress. You'd be correct. Her Pink Dress is a huge hindrance to posing her. She's More limited than Yuffie, but to be fair, you are NOT going to have Aerith doing Wild Kung Fu poses. To make matters worse, the Flower Girl flashes her white cotton panties... (How do I know they are cotton? Don't Ask...)
So that limits her ALREADY Limited Articulation

Paint and Sculpt:
Sculptwise she is amazing. She looks like Aerith should look.
The only issue I have is paint related: her right eye is a bit derpy.

Like Yuffie and the AC: Vincent and Sephiroth, she comes with a stand. She has 2 Extra hands for prayer and she has the Guard Stick (2 Green Materia slotted in the weapon.)

Aerith gets a 3.67 Her derpy Right Eye and her limited articulation hurt her a bit. Part of me wishes she had come with the Flower Basket from the Intro Cinematic

She's not a bad figure, but it kinda sucks that you can't do much with her other than having her standing around... she can't freaking do anything else because she'd show panties... Unless the crazy theory that Aerith being a "Flower Girl" was a cover for her being a "Flower Girl"... I mean Aerith was a Prostitute, a Hooker, a Call Girl, a Lady of the Night, a Practitioner of the Oldest Profession in the World... has some truth to it...

Aerith: (thoughts) Oh, Holy! Please save the planet from Meteor
I hope my panties aren't showing, otherwise I'd die of embarrassment!
Cloud: (thoughts) MUST... KILL... CETRA ...GIRL...
Ooh! Panties!
(out loud) Ugh! What are you making me do!? 

Sephiroth: Ooh! A girl! I should penetrate her
with my long and hard sword to please Mother!
Cloud: (thoughts) I think I should Stop Sephiroth
but for some Reason I can't move!

Sephiroth: Wah wah wah-wawah! Planet Wah wa-wa-wah! reuniuon
wa-wah! wa-wa-wah! Puppet
Yuffie: So they can't see that we're here during cutscenes, but only when
using the super blocky normal gameplay models of us?
Vincent: yeah...
Yuffie: So, we could totally cast LIFE2 on Aerith?
Yuffie: Or give her a Phoenix Down... We have like 99 of those!

 The saddest part is that all of these figures look GREAT together and I'm running out of FFVII Characters with the VII Look to collect but that will never be enough to complete the Main Party:
There is NO CID AT ALL, Cait Sith's top half only comes with the FFVII (not the AC) version of Red XIII. Then the ONLY Barret that we have is the AC Version, who looks VERY different from his VII counterpart.
Soon I'll be able to add Bewbs! to this display...
Guess who has 5 FFVII based Play Arts figures and found
another FFVII Play Arts figure at a Reasonable price?
Looks like getting Reno and President Rufus would be my final stop... (and that would have me without a Complete Set of TURKS, not to mention that I'd need the entire Board of Directors for Rufus...) That's without going into the SINGLE Remnant available because we never got Loz or Yazoo.) Resisting the temptation of visiting Emo Teen and School pals...