Dec 31, 2014

Mattel's New MOTUC Team, Crita and Kayo are more important than Neitlich believed.

Yo! Mattel New MOTUC Team! Former Manager Scott "Toyguru" Neitlich was a bit mistaken on his MOTU Knowledge. Kayo IS Important. Crita is Important. Those two are the last of the New Adventures A-List Characters.

I've said this before a few times, but here I go again:

Crita is VERY Important for the New Adventures Roster:
-She is the Single Space Mutant Female Character.
-She comes from the New Adventures Cartoon, which has ZERO Representation in MOTUC. (Mara had a Prototype, so she is not simply a New Adventures Cartoon Character.)
-She is basically the "Evil Lyn" of New Adventures. Getting Mara in 2015 and not getting Crita would be like having Teela WITHOUT Evil Lyn.
-She COULD be done with some creative parts reuse... If a character with low amount of new pieces is needed, she'd be perfect.

-Also, LOOK AT HER! Space Witch, or Evil Gladiatrix! She has both flavors of Badass!

IF she is not the remaining 2015 slot, it would be disappointing. Now, if she is not in 2015, then she SHOULD BE a contender for 2016. She has done pretty well on various online polls with MOTU Fans.

Now the Second New Adventures Figure I'm campaigning for is Kayo. Yes, the very same Kayo that Neitlich has claimed to be Obscure.

Kayo being obscure is a LIE. I'll assume that Neitlich WAS NOT AWARE of Kayo's appearances.
-Aside Hydron and Flipshot, the only Galactic Protector that appeared on a (New Adventures of) He-Man Mini Comic was Kayo.
-If you look at the Intro of the Cartoon, Kayo makes an appearance. Basically Kayo appears in EVERY SINGLE EPISODE OF THE CARTOON THAT HAD THE INTRO.
- He could also be made with a lot of reused parts!Here's a list of parts that could be reused for him.
New Heads and weapons
Normal He-Man Body with Hordak ab piece. The Wifebeater would be painted on a la King He-Man.
Horde Prime Arms and hands
New Armor
Flipshot Loincloth
He-Man thighs
New Shins
Geldor Boots
Snout Spout feet

Going for the Dares, Skeleteens, Hans Hammer Holders, BEFORE going for popular New Adventures characters, or key filmation folks is a mistake. Please new MOTUC Team, don't do the same mistake Neitlich did...

I guess this is all I'll write for 2014... Until 2015!

Dec 29, 2014

It Came from the Toy Chest: Asthma Sucks especially IN SPACE!!

My father has decided to come and visit for this It Came From the Toy Chest. Like Evil Lyn, Ranma Saotome, and Solid Snake, I too have "Daddy Issues". Therefore, the perfect figure to represent my father, is none other than Darth Vader. And yes, on my phone My Father is saved as Darth Vader (with Imperial March ringtone) and his Residential line is The Death Star... But enough about me, let's talk about the Asthmatic Cyborg who used to be a whiny kid.

Do I really need to explain who is Darth Vader? If not just watch Star Wars (Episodes IV: a New Hope, V: The Empire Strikes Back, and VI: Return of the Jedi. Preferably the Original versions before George Lucas decided to alter them multiple times.) Avoid Episodes I-III.

This picture shows all of Darth Vader's Articulation.
In paper the Articulation is Impressive.
On the figure itself...Well, Getting Vader to stand on a basic Sword Stance is very cumbersome. (He is slightly more Stable than Hasbro's Marvel Legends Black Cat) The Shoulders are a bit hindered and the legs won't allow for kickass wide stances. This stems from the way Hasbro does the hips on certain figures. (Just like the 3 3/4" but bigger)

 3.0 It's functional, but it could have worked better.

Paint and Sculpt:
I wanted to use You're Tearing me apart,
Padme, but NOOOO is more Iconic.
Yes, it's true. Darth Vader has Cloth Parts. Now before you go all Darth Vader on me, hear me out! I LOATHE, DESPISE, HATE, DETEST Cloth items on figures less than 12 inches tall.
This time Hasbro did something cool and simple to fix the draping issues on the cape. It's not a PERFECT solution, but it's a bit cool, so I have to point it out. The cape is heavier at the tips, so it drapes a bit more naturally.
The bad part is that Vader's Torso is also wrapped in Cloth, because of his tunic. Normally, I'd bitch and moan about this, but there's a SLIGHT chance that Hasbro is doing this Vader with Cloth items, BECAUSE he'd need to sit on something. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink!
The plastic sculpted parts look good and Vader-like. I have a small issue with the head. Something looks slightly OFF. (Aside the Helmet not being Glossy enough). The Vader under the mask looks off. Kinda like a Hybrid of the Traditional Unmasked DV and a cross of the Special Edition Altered DV under the mask. (to look more like Hayden Christensen's Mannequin Skywalker.)
The Hands are another problematic point. Vader can only hold the Lightsaber on his right hand. His left hand is kinda opened like in the Join Me scene from ESB.

The Paint is a bit of a mixed bag. SOME of The Tampos are applied nicely on mine, BUT the other half is VERY messed up. (My Vader without helmet looks a bit Derpy) but what bugs me the most are the super obvious brushstrokes on DV's head. I'd understand seeing brushstrokes on a DV Custom, but not on the official release!

3.0 A Noble Effort by Hasbro, but not enough, especially since we're talking about DARTH FREAKING VADER here.


 He only comes with the Lightsaber. I like that I can pop off the blade to make it be in the off position. Sadly, I've seen other figures of this line (even if I haven't bought any yet.) and they have tons of accessories. Spare hands would have been welcome here. I would have preferred two heads for DV. The Normal Helmet and the ROTJ Helmetless head.

1.0 *DV-like wheezing/Breathing* I find your lack of accessories disturbing! Yes, I have been waiting for years to use a reference to that phrase. Using it on a Darth Vader Figure makes it even sweeter!

Darth Vader gets a 2.33 as his final score. It's a shame. I've skipped Leia, because I want a Leia from a New Hope. Also, Slave Leia looks very off. Getting her would mean also getting Jabba and I don't want to spend nearly $100 for the more Accurate Jabba. (The barebones $50-ish Jabba at retail is a bit underwhelming since he has NOTHING) I've skipped Han, because the few I've seen were either broken in package or had pieces missing. Hell! I saw a Han with a Greedo Head at a Wal*Mart! So far I've not seen the ROTJ Luke yet. I've only seen X-Wing Luke and I don't want that version of him. (I truly want the A New Hope Luke, but I'll take ROTJ as a substitute figure) Also, I've not seen Chewie. Add R2-D2 and C-3PO and you get the Entire Characters that I want. No Boba Fett, No Lando, No Ackbar and most definitely no Jar Jar!! Toss in an Alec Guiness Obi Wan and we'd be cool... OK I want a Bea Arthur too! but that's about it.

Back to Darth Vader. This is THE ONE CHARACTER that Hasbro had to make sure was ABSOLUTELY FLAWLESS, but they fell short. I mean he's not a QC Disaster like Funko's Game of Thrones wave 1 Figures, but the bad paintjob, the lack of accessories and limited articulation hurt this figure a lot. So far I think I'll only get a Return of the Jedi Luke and call it quits with SW: Black. Maybe an Emperor to have the ROTJ Final Battle display as my only SW figures since the mid eighties.

Dec 28, 2014

The Impossible Mini-Sub: a 1987 Movie Sub

I've done some theoretical mini sub ideas before, but now... I'm doing the most impossible one yet.
1987 Movie sub. Yes, I'm aware this has NO CHANCE IN HELL of making it. I just want to see who would fill the 7 slots needed for a MOTU 1987 Movie Sub.

Technically we already have Gwildor, Blade and Saurod in the Normal MOTUC Line.
I'll get this out of the way: No Julie, Kevin or Detective Lubic on this list... As much as I want a MOTUC James Tolkan, He won't be on this list.

Inspired by Club Etheria Sub, we get 1 Sub Exclusive, 5 normal Figures, 1 Large Item.
Now, these Figures should follow the MOTUC style. MOTUC Bucks and shared parts where needed.

Standard Figures:

Starting out with the BIG GUN. The missing NEW Character that people have been wanting since the 80s to complete Skeletor's Movie Crew...

Mattel/the FourHorsemen COULD get away with some reuse like the Beastman arms and Torso.

Evil Lyn:
It gives us an Evil Lyn that doesn't share a dress with Teela. (I think the BGEL Bracers and the Catra Boots could be reused on her) The most important part is that She completes Skeletor's minions in their movie looks.

The First Heroic Warrior to get the "Movie Treatment" She's here for two reasons. People kinda need a non-Metal Bra/Furry underpants Teela and she was in the movie. (duh!)

This is the Figure that Mattel would go very cheap on. (I half expect a movie colors repaint of MAA with Hordak's left forearm.)

Sub Exclusive:

God Skeletor:
IF there was ONE Movie Figure that deserves the SUB Exclusive slot is God Skeletor. This figure and Karg are the ones who would sell the sub.

Large Item:

He-Man vs Skeletor:
Like I was going to make a 1987 MOTU MOVIE Theoretical Sub and skip on the Main Guy... Tossing him with the Normal Skeletor, because the main two deserve a box Together.

I know that the Skeletor Shock Troopers did not make the list. If this was a Full year Sub, then I could have had He-Man and Skeletor as normal items (them being figures 6 and 7. Sorceress would have been figure 8,  Figures 9, 10 and 11 would have been Lubic, Julie and Kevin) Figure 12 would have been Pig Boy. Then Two Large Scale slots would have been given to Skeletor's Troopers. (One slot for ground troopers and the other for Air Troopers) Then the remaining 2 Variant slots would have been Lubic, Eternian version, and Pimp Gwildor. (because double dipping on that Gwildor tool)

Dec 27, 2014

It came from the Toy Chest: Can't say her name right, eh Neitlich?

Jokes aside, Scott Neitlich DID have a few issues typing Shokoti's name. Not sure if it was a reference to Ram Man being unable to say her name or if it was one of Neitlich's famous typos. (I'm inclined to believe it's the latter) Well, she is one of the two missing Club Filmation figures... Well, Missing on my shelf I mean. And we all know that I am very unlikely to buy the remaining figure.

So, Shokoti... Where can I begin to describe who she is. She's the villain of the Two part Episode: House of Shokoti, but only makes an appearance on Part 2. Part 1 is Lord Masque's Episode.
She's an Evil Dark Witch who happens to be Blue Skinned.

Of course, Mattel's Bio Team  (Scott Neitlich and some unknown employees) made her a Gar, because of her Blue Skin. At least they didn't turn her into Keldor's mom.

So, without further ado, here's the Shokoti review.

She has the standard Female Articulation, but since she reuses the Adora Boots, she has the additional boot cut.
Paint and Sculpt:
She could have benefited from the Spell Casting hand/Claw hand... for obvious reasons. She sadly, has the Octavia left hand. Same issue that Entrapta and Octavia have is shared by Shokoti. I have ONE Tiny nitpick on her face sculpt. No fangs.
The paint is a bit sloppy on my figure's cape and on her Skull belt buckle. It's minor, but I have to point it out, because it can't be photographed well.
She only has ONE: a Darkling... With no Stand to put it on. This was a major design blunder done by Mattel... Since we're talking about bumbling toy designers, we should totally blame Ruben Martinez for this. I think there should have been two Darklings.

While the Darkling is cool, In the Accessory Department, Shokoti is lacking. Not even a Crystal Skull. OK it wasn't exactly a Crystal skull. it was more like a Skull shaped TV for her.
Spellhand would have made a mirrored version of this possible.

She gets a 2.5 in accessories.

Shokoti gets a 3.83 as her final score. She would have benefited a bit more if she had gotten something else as an accessory. Heck! Even reusing the Evil Lyn Knife would have helped her a little bit. Ceremonial Knife, sacrifice to the Sleeping Beast... you can see where I'm going with this, right?

Now... Here's the thing: Chances that we get a TRUE Toy Accurate She-Ra are slim to none.
BUT thanks to Shokoti now we KINDA HAVE Most of the Parts needed to make her.
-She-Ra's head (1.0 Toy Head or BP She-Ra's head. If you use the BP She-Ra head, you'll need new Reflective Stickers.)
 -NA She-Ra's Bodice, repainted to Gold and White as seen on the Vintage Toy.
-Shokoti's Cape with the epaulets painted white.
-BP She-Ra's Skirt and body.
 -Evilmike's Sword of Defense Yes it's a Shapeways 3D Printed Item., but it's closer to the Vintage Toy look than the Filmation Sword without the Prongs. (Won't ask you to break a golden sword of protection unless you have a spare one!)
I know it's the wrong head, but That's the
only NON NA She-Ra head I had at the moment/ 

Screech stabs a man, gets arrested.

Finally, I found another use to this Screech pic!
Yes, boys and girls, I am talking about Samuel Screech Powers, played by the everdouchy Dustin Diamond.

He was arrested on Christmas Day after a Bar Brawl Incident where he was arrested and charged with three misdemeanors: second-degree recklessly endangering safety, carrying a concealed weapon and disorderly conduct, use of a dangerous weapon.

He claims that s brawl was brewing at the bar where he was with his girlfriend. Some Patrons were acting rudely towards him and his girlfriend, so he did the Politically Correct thing of trying to leave. He went to get the coats and when he came back, those "evil rowdy bar patrons" had taken his girlfriend. They were holding her by her hair and she was bleeding.
The Classical "Damsel in Distress" Scenario. Now what would a guy that looks like this do?

So, Screech stabbed a dude! I don't know what is worse: Screech Stabbing a Dude, or BEING the Dude that got Stabbed by Screech...

What Screech did here is a disservice to his girlfriend and women around the world. He didn't let his girlfriend defend herself from the attackers. By jumping into action and try to protect the woman that he loves, he objectified her. He made her a prize to be won. Or something like that would have been the analysis of the situation if it was made by Big J-Mcintosh's sockpuppet/girlfriend.

What Screech did here is an attempt do defend a loved one in danger. Was the stabbing an appropriate action? I cannot say since I do not have all the facts, like the stabbing victim's build. I'm assuming that the victim must have been bigger and stronger than Screech. If so, then it makes sense for Screech to arm himself against a bigger threat. Again, not condoning it, but trying to make sense of the situation. SCREECH STABBED A DUDE!!! It sounds badass, but on the other hand it also sounds a bit creepy and dangerous. You know... UBISOFT should totally make a game out of this!!

Dec 26, 2014

Odds and ends: Post-Christmas 2014 Edition!

The Doctor Who Christmas Special was a rather interesting thing: Facehugger-like Crabs, Santa Claus tag teaming with The Doctor, the final Appearance of Clara Oswald. Retconned. and last but not least a Shout out to My Little Pony

I have to admit, this was a nice shout out, especially since the MLP:FIM team in both the comics and the cartoon have dropped references to Doctor Who. (Doctor Hooves).

the Christmas Special was pretty cool, especially the part about Clara's exit as a companion... that was rewritten since Jenna Coleman decided to stay a bit longer.

CM Punk might be a bit of a coward and a liar... If we are to believe Dr. Tommy Oliver Ph.D. and MMPR. Punk allegedly said that he had never heard of this until recently. I have to say that this is highly unlikely since EVEN I was aware of this Challenge since last February. Remember that *I* am not a huge follower of MMA and I became a casual viewer of the WWE since they went PG. How is it possible that I was aware of this and not CM Punk?

This stuff has been on Youtube, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, etc. and Punk has never heard of it?

This smells like the pile Jeff Goldblum points out in Jurassic Park.

Stupid ass hackers ruined Christmas! They hacked XBox Live and PSN for teh lulz and ruined Christmas to thousands of people who got videogame consoles as a present from good ol' Saint Nick!
XBL is back up, but PSN is not so lucky... Not cool...

Dec 25, 2014

It came from the Toy Chest: I think something else is tingling, Parker!

The lack of Marvel Legends reviews at the House of Rants is a little bit Disturbing. Thanks to an old friend I've gotten a Hasbro Marvel Legends figure.

Yes, I am talking about the Kringle Man himself, Saint Nick, Father Christmas, and a man who I served under many years ago. I am talking about Claus, Santa Claus. Seems that I wasn't too naughty this year... Had I been nicer I would have gotten some MOTUC stuff.

 I got one of the Infinite Series Marvel Legends Black Cat!!
Now, the best part is that this Black Cat is based on her Classic Look! Unlike the Previous Black Cat, this one looks very feminine and doesn't have The Evil That Men Do look. Now to be fair, the Modern look looks pretty good. The Marvel Select Almost Statue of her is proof that this look works wonderfully in 3D. Whoever sculpted the Sinister Six box set Cat may have confused BC with Bea Arthur.

So, for those of you who don't know Black Cat, here's a super quickie BC course...

Black Cat is kinda like the "Catwoman" to Spidey's "Batman". Thing is she kinda likes the Spider-Part of Spider-Man and is not exactly fond of the Peter Parker side of life.
Kevin Smith... yes, THAT Kevin Smith wrote the infamous The Evil That Men Do and it took him over 3 years to complete. When fans complained about Smith's tardiness, he acted a bit like an ass, but that's not the point here... Neither is that the story became a messed up Rape PSA and that Black Cat became a Rape Statistic.
The point is that Black Cat is commonly known as a sidekick/love interest/common nuisance to Spidey. She can be heroic, but her Cat Burglar instincts tend to put her in a gray area. Also... Boobs! BC's boobs are very popular... Not as Popular as Emma Frost's or She-Hulk's but a LOT of Black Cat pics (actual comic art, fan art or cosplay focus on boobs.)

Without further ado, let's start this Review!

This is a Hasbro Marvel Legends figure and I haven't used ML figures in years (my ML are currently in storage because of the growing MOTUC collection. No, I'm not selling!)
So, I went out of my way to label all the Articulation Points on Black Cat.

Now here's the thing: She has a lot of Articulation that works well ON PAPER.

She has a LOT of Articulation issues.
For a "Cat Burglar" she is very inflexible.
She cannot kick, aside the Sparta Kick. She can't even do a Trinity kick!

That's the furthest that Black Cat can spread her legs open.
Crouching/Stalking poses, forget about it. Look to the side? You'll have better luck making a MOTUC Female look to the side than you will Black Cat. While she has a hinge joint in her wrist, it's more of a "Hold my sword aloft" kind of hinge than the "limp wrist" kind of hinge. Cool Kung-Fu Claw hand poses are also out...

Last but not least, her limited articulation make her a bit of a bitch to keep standing. She NEEDS to use an action figure stand if you want to keep her standing up.

Paint and Sculpt:
SHE HAS THE POWER to hold things with thick shafts...
Get your mind out of the gutter, Parker!! Damn you Quesada!! 
I've already praised the sculpt on this figure, even if the Articulation is a bit iffy. She has a rather wide grip on her right hand. It can hold the MOTU Staction He-Man sword, or the New Adventures MOTUC sword with ease.
The only Issue I have is with the paint job. The light blue wash to give some shadows in the hair was applied a bit too liberally on my figure. When she's on a dark background and the flash hits her, she looks fine. On a light background, or when looking at her without bright lights, her hair looks light blue as well as the fur on her gloves and boots.

Black Cat comes with a Single Accessory:
Her Grappling Claw. I do have a few issues with it, but it's a mixed bag.
I like the sculpt of it, but I hate that the rope is plastic and not a real rope. The fact that she has such a loose grip on the claw makes it even harder to find a decent pose for her.
If you're thinking of something Konami, you're correct.
If not, this will help.

Now the next Accessory, which can be seen clearly on the MOC pics is a Green Torso with Blue Pants. I know these belong to the Horrible Abomination that is Norman Hulksborn, the Unimaginative Universe version of The Green Goblin... I prefer my goblins wearing Halloween Masks and Flying on bat shaped Gliders than Unoriginal Demon Hulks. The Torso feels incredibly Lightweight

While I'm still NOT Fully tempted to buy the whole wave. I kinda want to complete the BAF. Not to make an ultimate Goblin, but to Make a Mega Roid Rage NA Faker... He-Slave 2.0 but that's another rant for another day.

 I'd have to say that Here in Accessories, BC deserves a 3.5


They look nice together!
 Black Cat gets a 3.67 as her final score. If she didn't have the Articulation problems, she would have scored A LOT BETTER.

I don't think I'll go back to ML, but the offerings by Hasbro have improved leaps and bounds over Sickly Banshee and Fugly Emma Frost. 2004 me would have been super excited to add this Black Cat to his Spider-Man Shelf! Now if we could get a Classic Morbius without a rubber face (my Morbius lost his face. The rubber rotted away...) So, Hasbro, make it so... I think I may have to get a Hasbro Carnage...

Merry Christmas and Joe Quesada still sucks ass!

Dec 23, 2014

It Came from the Toy Chest: Dairy Queen (not related to Oliver)

The one thing I miss from living in the States is Dairy Queen. Now I can Pretend I can go to Dairy Queen thanks to Jakks Pacific's MiWorld line. It's like an Action Figure Scaled Mall Set.

I didn't go and buy a Store right out of the bat, because that would've been weird. I got a Dairy Queen Refill Pack... Think of it like a $3 "Weapon Pak" but for a Doll Line about a Mall.
You get 6 items, well 7 if we count the Sticker sheet in this case. I wanted the Mrs. Fields cookie pack, but they were unavailable. The store where I got this had plenty of Claire's Accessories, but I'm in this for the food items.

This is going to be a bit awkward since the figures I'm going to use are completely alien to the concept of a Dairy Queen.

Now, while I'll be using MOTUC figures, mostly because I have those available and because they're the largest figures I have that are around the 1:12 scale. Not true 1:12, but close enough.
As you can see, they can barely hold some of these. So far only NA He-Man can hold on to the Ice Cream Cone. Trap Jaw can barely hold the Arctic Crush. He does but It warps his left hand and I wouldn't  dare to try the Orange Julius smoothie... Speaking of which, will we see a Sbarro? Mmmmm! Average mildly overpriced Pizza Slices that used to be bigger and tastier 20 years ago...

 I think I'll be on the hunt for other DQ sets, Mrs. Fields and the cupcake ones.

Now, don't get me wrong. The MiWorld is a cool idea. Sadly, I've not seen the dolls. Only the playsets and the expansion packs. Most of the Girl Toylines are NOT in MiWorld Scale (seems to be a true 1:12) The ones who could take advantage of this line are not girls, but Marvel, DC and Wrestling toy collectors. The Playsets are roughly in that scale and the props would help those diorama displays. Like say, Spidey stopping a hold-up at a Dairy Queen, or Flash having a quick bite to eat at Mrs. Fields before stopping Captain Cold.

Do I recommend these? Yes and No. They help to bring life to some displays, but at the same time most Action Figures are unable to hold them.

Dec 22, 2014

Top 11 Properties that Jakks Pacific should go after.

Now that Jakks Pacific has gotten their very own Toy Guru, they need to step up in the boys Department. OK, so they are bringing some World of Nintendo stuff. Sadly, the releases already available have not wowed me... Bowser MIGHT be a bit tempting, but for now I'm a bit more interested on Jakks' Pink Aisle offerings with MiWorld. (Accessory packs/Playsets compatible with 6" figures...) but that's a story for another day.

Taking a page out of the Nostalgia Critic, I'm going for 11 items, because 10 has been overdone.
Now here's the Top 11 Properties that Jakks Pacific should go after (in no Particular order):

King of Fighters:

It's not Mortal Kombat nor, Street Fighter, but SNK characters have not gotten the honor of being immortalized in Plastic on the West. The Main reason to say KoF instead of Fatal Fury and/or Art of Fighting, which is truly what I'm after is because a KoF toyline is the "MOTUC" of SNK's library of characters. If they play it smart, they could make them compatible with the NECA SF IV line for a Little Capcom vs SNK tribute.
They already know how to do this. Jakks had experience doing wrestlers (from both TNA and WWE, not to mention UFC and Rocky figures.) Neitlich has experience in managing a line with a diverse roster.

Personally I don't see the FULL Roster making it. I'm sensing that if this property were to be made, we'd get SOME characters from some teams
-Japan Team (Kyo, Benimaru, Goro) and MAYBE a 99' Kyo variant or Shingo.
-Fatal Fury Team (Terry, Andy and Joe) MAYBE a Garou Terry variant.
-Art of Fighting Team (Ryo, Robert and Takuma) MAYBE a Mr. Karate Variant.
-Women's Team: (Mai, King and Yuri) This team complements the AoF and FF teams.
-Geese Team: Geese, Krauser, and Mr. Big, who complement the AoF and FF teams
-Rugal, Iori and Krizalid. Maybe an Orochi Iori variant. This team would basically complement the Japan Team.
I know that the Ikari and the Psycho Soldier teams are not on this list of possible figures, but I tried to keep this theoretical line up in 3 waves of six. (or making sure that one of each team was on each wave)

This is how Neitlich would capture the attention of the MOTUC fans. Making a MOTUC Compatible (in scale) Thundercats line. I've mentioned the idea of Mattel chasing Thundercats before. It would be a great notch for Neitlich to make Thundercats a successful line.
Getting all the cats + Mumm-Ra and the Mutants would be a Victory,

The Legend of Zelda:
Before you say: Nefty, have you been sniffing your MLP toys and gotten high on Friendship! Let me Explain. I don't mean Legend of Zelda as the Successful Videogame Franchise part of the World of Nintendo line... I mean this Legend of Zelda: NO Not the CDI stuff...

If done in the 7 inch scale, I'm so putting these with my PoP Display... Especially Link...

Captain N: The Game Master:
All this talk of DIC made me remember of this show.  Insert a Writers were MEGA HIGH! when writing this Showicus.
OK, I just want Kevin... and maybe Princess Lana. OK I want Gameboy too! (In Season 2 Link and Zelda make an appearance.)

Thundercats has a bit of Failure stench, thanks to Bandai America mucking up the line and Cartoon Network killing the show. Silverhawks lacks that stench. If Neitlich pulls off the core 5 Silverhawks, (Quicksilver, Bluegrass, Copper Kidd, the Steel Twins) Stargazer, and The Mob: Mon*Starr (both  Depowered and powered versions),Yes-Man, Hardware
Windhammer, Mo Lec U Lar, Melodia, BuzzSaw, and Mumbo Jumbo (but ESPECIALLY MELODIA) this line would be considered a success! I would like to see characters like Poker Face or Time Stopper, but I'd sacrifice them in order to get the main Mob *with Melodia!!

The Centurions:
POWER X-TREME! This would be a rather small line with the 3 Centurions, Dr. Terror, Hacker, the 2 evil drones. Though it could be expanded with Rex Charger, John thunder and Crystal Kane. Jakks could excel here by selling the Extra Upgrades as accessory packs.

Disney's Gargoyles:

If this doesn't make you want Gargoyles figures, then WHAT THE FU HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?
While this is a 90s property, it's the most toyetic of the bunch... the only snafu would be Disney being besties with Hasbro.


This would be putting Jakks in the Big Leagues. This would also play to Jakks' strengths: Accessory packs. Of course these could be extra special effects like Dizzy Stars, or Flame Effects and Projectile attacks (Hadoken, Sonic Boom, etc.) but more importantly they could be used for BONUS STAGES!!

The Ultimate SF Accessory:

The goal here would be making a Decent Roster of World Warriors from SF1 all the way to SF4... The minimum goal would be completeing the Super Street Fighter II Turbo Roster:
(Ryu, Ken, Chun Li, Guile, Dhalsim, Blanka, E.Honda, Zangief, Cammy, T.Hawk, Fei Long, Dee Jay,  Balrog, Vega, Sagat, Bison, and Akuma) Now, they could go the Traditional way and do the Game versions (Either SF2, or SF Alpha Versions...)
I have a new twisted idea they could do...

I was kidding about that last one... OK 90% kidding, but a small part of me wants a Raúl Juliá Bison figure.

'Nuff said!

Dungeons and Dragons: 
While, yes, this is just an excuse to get characters from the 80s Cartoon in toy form, but I have an Ulterior motive. A Certain Line with 7" Fantasy Figures that Neitlich used to manage could use some Monsters to pad out some factions, or beasts for Beast Man to control... But seriously, it's mostly to get the D&D Cartoon characters like Venger or Eric the Cavalier...

Defenders of the Earth:
OK, I just want a Super Articulated Phantom and Flash Gordon... OK, I also want Ming too! (Screw Mandrake! OK, not Really, but Flash and The Phantom have a more Toyetic vibe to them.) Only problem is that Galoob was eaten by Hasbro... But there can be hope since DoE was technically a license that Galoob had, since the Characters were not property of Galoob.

El Chapulín Colorado: (I refuse to use the Americanized name "Captain Hopper")
Seeing that Jakks has toys based on El Chavo Del 8, then wanting toys from Chespirito's Other Popular character wouldn't be so far-fetched. El Chapulín Colorado and Chespirito were the Inspiration for the Bumblebee Man. Also, there's an animated series rumored to start in 2015. Unlike El Chavo, I kinda wish we could get two versions. One based on the animation, and another based on Roberto Gómez Bolaños' live action skits.

Dec 21, 2014

odds and ends December 21st 2014

Winter is here and George R.R. Martin has not finished the sixth book of A Song of Ice and Fire. then again what else is new?

 North Korea used hackers to attack Sony and the prohibited the release of the movie The Interview. Using threat of bombs they also "Forced" from playing Team America: World Police as an American Retaliation because it mocks the Korean dictators late father Kim Jong Il. 
I have to say, I understand why they accepted the demands from these terrorists, but at the same time North Korea is not in a place to follow through with these threats (and  I disagree with pulling the movie). In a way Sony and Paramount are trying to protect people's lives,but on the other hand they're making America look weak. Decisions decisions.

I'm kind of disappointed because thanks to the North Korean hackers threats I kinda wanted to see The Tnterview. We will never know now if the movie was good or bad because the supreme NORTH Korean ruler doesn't have a sense of humor and can't accept that he's being mocked. Hell, even Osama bin Laden wasn't crying like a little bitch when they made fun of him countless times after 9/11 and that was a guy who could follow through with his threats.
Hell, Even Obama agrees that the movie should not have been pulled.

In Toy News: The Night Lick has landed... On Jakks Pacific... The guys that HAD WWE and lost it to Mattel. The guys that HAD TNA, but no longer do... Is TNA even alive?
What does Jakks have?
Ridiculously Oversized Star Wars toys that are more like novelties than actual toys. Ridiculously Oversized DC figures. Ridiculously oversized Power Rangers figures.
Big Ass Godzilla, some Motocross line... Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, um some Black and Decker stuff... yes as in the tools. (TG haters are likely to Insert Neitlich is a tool joke here.)
Smurfs and El Chavo (The animated series that is basically rehashing the 1970s skits from Chespirito)

So, can you see where I'm going with this. Aside some Big Ass toys that pegwarm at stores. Jakks Pacific has very little in the Toys for Boys Department. OK, so they have SOME Nintendo Figures, but the closest one to a kickass figure has some huge paint issues.

Basically, Neitlich will have to figure out what to do to help Jakks out of obscurity. I honestly hope that he's learned from his Mistakes at Mattel and that he does a decent job... Then again, he'll have to help in making deals to bring new licenses to Jakks, because the current licenses are a bit lacking.

Dec 18, 2014

It Came from the Secret Santa Stocking Pt.2 TAINTed gift.

Now, my dear Assistant, codenamed Spike, after the Purple and Green Fax Machine. All this time he thought I was talking about Buffy's Spike. Well, he got me a Secret Santa gift... the T.A.I.N.T. in BLU RAY!! (Luckily I have a SONY BR Player that also plays videogames!)

Guess what I'm going to review now. At least he was generous enough to get me the one with the Bandanas... That way If I LOATHE the movie, I can still use the Bandanas as nods to the good TMNT stuff. Oh great! Even the Badanas are crap. You only get two, but they're "reversible" Meaning. Put it in Mikey mode and when you tie it, it'll look half red, half orange. Same thing with Leo's Half blue, Half Purple.
Let's DO THIS!!
Anyone has some Moonshine? I think I'll need some of that to clear my head.

Not even one minute into the movie and I'm screaming BULL! Turning this into a play by play, because Spoiling a crappy movie will save you from watching it.
They are not "destined to protect New York!" Their Destiny is not even to avenge Hamato Yoshi... They are a Cosmic Accident, not Destiny. I'm not even through the intro and I'm already seeing red flags!
Non-Ninja Foot Clan is lame!
Paramount Pictures engraved in a Samurai Sword... Take it away Lex!

comic book-style credits crossed with people playing Fruit Ninja in real life... I have to admit that it's kinda cool.
I think the Narrator is Splinter, but he sounds so not Japanese, so I'm not sure... I miss the late Mako!

Ugh! Megan Fox! I will only say that I never liked her as an actor. I think that even Kristen "Needs to take a Laxative" Stewart would have done a better job than Megan Fox.
Really? Megan Fox flapping her arms in a trampoline? Please, tell me again how this ISN'T a Michael Bay Movie?

Script puts Megan Fox on the scene of a crime, where the Americanized Foot Clan is stealing chemicals. Something is Striking Hard and Fading away into the Shadows. Not Michael Bay won't allow us to see the Shreks clearly. Wait are these Shreks using Gamma Radiation? They are tossing Cargo Wagons at the Americanized Foot.

Megan Fox was only able to take a picture of some kanji? Now we get to see Whoopi Goldberg (Double Social Justice Whammy, a Black Woman playing the Role of a White Man) But Whoopi's internalized misogyny doesn't help poor Megan Fox who is oppressed by her male coworkers and ridiculed when she comes with very little evidence of the Shreks stopping the American Foot.

11 minutes in and se see Eric Sacks... Which is an obvious Americanization/Bastardization of the name Oroku Saki. Now we see a Japanese Shredder and a girl I must assume is Karai... So this must be one of those scenes added later on after the backlash against White Shredder.
Foot clan Rising, Own the City? what the hell is Nippon Shredder talking about?

Now, White Shredder is talking about a tragedy that happened years ago. (Betting it has something to do with April's father.) blah blah blah

Now we have Megan Fox running into a disaster. (People are fleeing, she is running towards it. then again, that kinda describes her journey with Michael Bay!) NOW we get a glimpse of the Shreks.
Megan Fox hides behind a Litter stops here sign... Potential joke in the making, but that would be my soggy knee stick. She gets Captured... Which to be fair, Banana Jumpsuit April often got captured. they're surrounding the Hostages with C-4? These guys ain't Ninja? They're TERRORISTS!!
so, the Shreks show up and kick some shell, but are barely seen because of Low Budget Michael Bay emulating his master and not letting us see the Turdles.
Is it wrong to have smiled when Raphael slammed Megan Fox into the rooftop?
I will not make fun of Megan's Thumbs.

Raphael has a Batman voice (nod to the Nightwatcher?) and did Michelangelo made a Boner joke? Bay influence deniers, tell me again who this ISN'T A Michael Bay movie?

Johnny Knoxville as Leonardo DOES NOT FREAKING WORK AT ALL! So Megan Fox faints and the turdles kidnap her. While the movie has been crappy so far, there have been some similarities with the 1990s movie. Fight at a subway, wonder what else they'll do?  Y'know... It's gotten real annoying and it's only been done twice. Stop it with the whole Megan Fox is hot and Mikey wants to give her the secret of his ooze.

A Fart joke... Do I need to say it again? This has Bay written all over it!

Ugh! They're using the IDW origin as their base... BLEGH!

Reference to the horrible Christmas Album... OK movie, I'll give you that one. Ugh! I hate Splinter's voice! BTW it almost seems like this Splinter is a bit of a dick.

Now we have Megan Fox trying to explain to Whoopi the TMNT. I have to admit, the scene was funny. No! This turd isn't supposed to be fun... I Must hate it with a passion hotter than 1000 suns!

So, now the Fantastic Megan Fox is going to visit White Shredder.

Splinter is torturing his sons, because he is the All Star splinter... Pizza Hut? on a TMNT Movie? Psh! Everyone knows that Movie Turtles eat Domino's... Videogame Turtles on the other hand, those are Pizza Hut fiends! and now the Turtles must kidnap April O'Neil... I guess an Origin told by Splinter will follow that.

Heroes in a Half shell... OK, now the movie is trying too hard to throw bones at old school fans who mock the T.A.I.N.T.

Now April is at Xavier's School for the Gifted to visit Not Oroku Saki. We got THE WORST POSSIBLE line in this movie. April's arrived a little early this year. I feel bad for all the Aprils in the world who have had to suffer receiving that lame comment.

No White Shredder is aware of the existence of the Shreks.

White Shredder is a Japanese American, so much for Eric Sacks not being Oroku Saki. He tells her a magic cure-all story and the Ooze being that McGuffin.

Donatello hacks Megan Fox's Computer and requests a meeting. (Kidnapping scene)
Michelangelo drinking orange crush and he kinds looks black... Racism using the comedic character? That's so Bay-like!

White Shredder goes to talk to the Post-Production Nippon Shredder about the Shreks. The Card that Sacks gave Megan Fox had a tracker... Seriously, who puts Trackers in their Business cards, ESPECIALLY made for people that they were NOT EXPECTING as visitors?
Origin Story time... told by Mr. Monk... and here's the Mandatory Eastman and Laird nod.
Quick question, who drops perfectly working Katanas and nunchucks down the sewers?
Wait... The Bandana Leo is wearing is the Karate Kid Bandana. Did they just dropped a slice of pizza on Splinter's head? Stop trying too hard to reference the BETTER TMNT movie, movie!
Tonight I dine on Turtle Soup... Now, referencing Uncle Phil won't save you from being crappy!
OK this whole Shredder Plotline makes even less sense than Hamato Yoshi's rat learning ninjitsu and escaping after Yoshi's death when fate intervened and made him a mutant. Now, Splinter learned Ninjitsu from a book... (just as silly as a rat mimicking a ninja and learning ninjitsu, BEFORE mutating.) Did the book had a special chapter on ninjas with prehensible tails?

Holy Crap! It's Megatron! And meh, Raphael gets hit by a bunch of tranq darts, while Splinter lays the Smackdown on Megatron. Also, Johnny Knoxville gets tazed... again.

Megatron is about to kill Splinter when Megan Fox stabs one of the suits key pieces with a sai. Finally she is useful! Now Splinter slams her into the ground to save her... and to appease the Megan Fox haters.

Splinter sacrifices himself to save the Shreks while Megan Fox watches. Megatron captures Leo, Donny and Mikey and then the American Foot bombs the lair.
Raph is believed to be dead, but he must let the world think that he is dead until he can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within him...
They left Splinter? If they needed beings with Mutagen in their DNA, why not take him as well?

Military vehicle fetish? Not in a Bay movie... That has never happened in a... Who am I kidding? This also has BAY written all over it!

Now the wounded Splinter begs Raphael to save his brothers. Megan Fox calls Vern and asks for his help. Do my ears deceive me or is that Careless Whisper in the background. Oh I get it! Vern wants to get into April's pants, so they have him listening to Careless Whisper as he talks to April!
Raphael hijacks the van (with Vern Driving...)

Usagi Yojimbo reference! White Shredder is monologuing.
Raph, Megan Fox and Vern crash the gate.
Newsvans are made of paper. Turtles are bulletproof.
"Take a bite out of the Big Apple" line? Will they have White Shredder tie Megan Fox to Train Tracks and give him a mustache to twirl? Since we're going with painful cliches and all that...

Raph vs Megatron... FIGHT!
Vern perfectly describes my issue with this Shredder perfectly.
WAIT! Raphael could barely dent the glass, but the Other 3 break it perfectly from the inside? Even with an Adrenaline shot, that's bull!

Wait! the Chopper left at full speed... This is all wrong! Liebesman didn't channel Bay here... This actually helps the Bay deniers!

NOW they notice they are Bulletproof? Raph was Bulletproof a few minutes ago!

Hot wiring/Keys under the sunvisor cliche... check!

Oh these scenes explain the Snow Battle in the Trailer...
Johnny Knoxville gets tazed... again!
Bo-jacking the car was cool. HATE the nerd glasses on Donny!
Shot of Megan Fox's ass... Nope! Nothing that the Bay wouldn't do here...
Michelangelo is using an SUV to surf an Avalanche... Cool image, I'll admit!

Holy crap! That's almost the same plot as "Not really amazing" Spider-Douche 1 with the Lizard turning people into lizards via a tower switched to Shredder making people sick for money, via a tower...
Elevator scene wasn't as bad as I thought...

Cowabunga scene was glorious!! Way better than Booyakasha! COWABUNGA FOREVER DUDES!!!
So Shredder is kicking the Turdles' shells while White Shredder (thanks to the rewrite) is fighting Megan Fox and Vern.
What the Hell? Mikey comes out with the Plan and Knoxville gets credit!?
Vern beats White Shredder with a Telescope...

Meanwhile the Turtles are still battling Shredder on a rooftop (nod to the Mirage comics)
Clint Eastwood's Cowabunga was badass.
Megatron decides to take down the Tower but Megan Fox channels the little Shia LaBeouf inside of her and tries to bargain with Megatron, who knocks her off the building. Sadly, she didn't die. So Megatron tires again and the Turtles jump to save her... don't!
Megan Fox kills Megatron, not exactly Shia LaBeouf Style, but it kinda works as another Bay is ripping off himself by using his padawan, Liebesman.
Stop it with the whole Michelangelo/April shipping.
Raph is a softie... with a tough exterior...

Oh geez, Shredder touched the Mutagen... Super Shredder in TAINT2 Secret of the Ooze?
Get off my chest joke by Splinter? Another Cliche line?
Is that the new Paerty Wagon? Looks more like a Party Clown car... Nice nod with the TMNT theme song on the horn, but moive, you trying too hard!
Needless Baysplosion! Nope, not Bay!
Happy Together by The turtles? Really?

Wait, did they disguise themselves as a Billboard bra?

Now that I ruined the movie for you, here's the eview part of the rant:

Pic says the gist of my issue. The movie has so many Bay-Like Scenes that it was almost as if Bay had been sitting on the Director's chair. If no one knew about Jonathan Liebesman directing it, they'd totally think that it was a Michael Bay Movie. It almost felt like Transformers, but switching Transformers with TMNT.

The Designs of the Characters were HORRIBLE!! The Turtles looked more Frog-like. The Human-like lips gave off the Shrek look and in some cases a bit of an Annoying Orange look to them.
Splinter NOT BEING RAISED by a Japanese person in order to take the Japanese look was borderline racist. Shredder? I called him Megatron during half of the review and Vern called him a robot samurai. So, the obviousness of the problem is stated quite often.

The story... Oh my Celestia! Where should I start?

Eric Sacks + Oroku Saki - Hamato Yoshi.

I think that the whole Sacks thing should have either been Embraced Completely OR Scrapped Completely. What the movie did was sloppily add a new Shredder and a new Battle to partially scrap the Americanized Shredder. If Shredder was such a badass ninja warrior, why would he need the Cyber Suit. Speaking of which, why was that suit built since he wasn't aware of the existence of the Superhuman Turtles? The whole taking over the city thing wasn't even explained. I get that Sacks wanted Money, but Shredder's motivations where, uh, Stupid! The lack of Hamato Yoshi screws ALL of the Turtles' involvement.

Hamato Yoshi was the reason why Saki comes to America. Yoshi is the reason why Splinter learns Martial Arts. Yoshi is the reason WHY The Turtles have ACTUAL NINJA WEAPONRY.
Yoshi is the reason why Splinter TRAINS The Turtles. With Shredder killing Yoshi, we have the bond between the Heroes and the Villain. In this movie without Yoshi, there is no real reason for the Turtles to Battle Shredder. Now how did Splinter make Custom Weapons for the Turtles, because Raph uses some oversized Sai, Mikey uses Oversized Nunchucks... I get that Donny modded a Bo Staff because he's a

They have no real drive or motivation to become ninja warriors, except the contrived reason the script gave.

That brings us to the next point. The Shredders' plan was pointless. Sacks Tower had a huge tank that was filled with Poison for over 15 years on top of New York and they didn't have an Antidote to?
Had Splinter not taught Martial Arts to the Turtles, Sacks would have never found out about the Turtles and wouldn't have used the "Lizard knock-off plan"

The Turtles being "April's Pets" makes no sense either. It "forces April" into some role that she doesn't need. Yes, she is like a Mother Figure for the Turtles, and also the first human they interact with as a friend; but she didn't need to be "their savior". Now back to the pet thing.
If they had been her pets, she would have taken them home when she saved them from the fire, not throwing them into the sewer. OK I would have bought the sewer thing if she had slipped and the turtles had fallen into the sewer. Then the whole Sacks is Shredder's "son" who worked with April's dad and April's pets were the pre-mutation TMNT and Splinter.

Here's the thing: Was it HORRIBLE? No, but it was bad. It tries too hard to appease fans of the 80s toon by throwing nods and references that Today's kids (the supposed target audience) would not get. It tries to be edgy with immature humor and references to zoophilia, but it's not subtle.
I did not completely hate it. It had a few moments. It had some cool visuals, ruined by the horrible designs. It had some decent acting, but not from Megan Fox, or Johnny Knoxville.

Even Pie Fu uh, Lover made a better Leonardo than Knoxville... Hell, even Seth Green would have been a better Leo than Knoxville.
Shalhoub did a great performance as Splinter, but it didn't suit him.
I was surprised... but I've heard better Splinters.
Now How can I rate this movie? I don't want to use the standard method since this is a Special Occasion.
OK! This movie ranks a bit above the Third Movie, but WAY Lower than the 2007 CGI Movie, the First one and Secret of the Ooze.

If you want to see Turtles that Eat Pizza watch this instead:

It Came from the Secret Santa Stocking Pt. 1

Since it's the season of the Holidays (Winter Solstice, Yule, Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Hearthswarming Eve, Royal Twins Birthday) that means that it's Secret Santa time. I got some stuff from my Secret Santa at my Mortal Job and Here's a quick overview... (The House of Rants Secret Santa Item will be reviewed soon)

So, My Secret Santa had a horrible experience attempting an order from the House of Rants favorite Online Toy Store that shall remain nameless. Not going to say that the name kinda sounds like Patty Molester. Withplan A gone down the drain, Plan B was activated. Translation: Secret Santa had to send a friend to ask me for a Plan B thing.
My answer: My Little Pony stuff... No Equestria Girls. I want ponies not underage human/pony hybrids.
Secret Santa's friend reply: Oh, you're a brownie?
Me: Just tell my Secret Santa to give me ponies.

So, My Secret Santa got me a box... Inside the box there were:
2 Blind Bag Ponies
1 polybagged Playful Scale Pony
1 Rainbow Fluttershy stuffed Pony.

(BTW, I think my Secret Santa went to Wal*Mart to get my ponies. That's the only place I've seen polybagged ponies.) Funny thing is that my Secret Santa WAS a Pegasister, so she KNEW what to get me!

The Blindbags were from the Sunset Shimmer wave... ELEMENT OF LUCHA!! (aka Supreme Mega-Bitch wave)
I got...

Weird Al Yanpony

Yes, Sunset Shimmer and Grilled Cheese have joined the Blindbag ranks. This wave also has breezies...ew!

The Polybagged pony is none other than CHEERILEE! The Pony that has been a thorn on my side for years is now within my grasp!

Rainbow Fluttershy is the only dud in the set, but in a positive note, I now have in some form, the Mane 6 in Stuffed toy form... and Derpy!

I will not do an It Came from the Toy Chest because I don't rate sutffed toys nor Blindbag toys and Cheerilee would score a lot lower for being a Polybagged pony with no accessories.

Part Two is coming and is a bit more painful, hence the splitting in two.

Dec 16, 2014

a Female Doctor? Moffat, just shut up!

The title gives away the notion that I LOATHE the idea of a Female Doctor in Doctor Who.
If you perceive that I DESPISE the Idea of a Female Doctor, then you are correct. I HATE THE IDEA OF CHANGING THE DOCTOR INTO A WOMAN, especially since we barely started Peter Capaldi's run as the Doctor. Seriously, Moffat. STOP THIS BULL right now. Sure, the Master ended up in a Female Body, but it's the Master... He also ended up as some sort of Space Parasite hopping through bodies and we ended up with ERIC ROBERTS as the Master.
Now the same guy who said THIS about the Doctor:

Wants now to pander to misandrists that simply want to eliminate anything that is cool and male.

WHY Must the DW showrunners turn the Doctor into a Woman? He has been a man since 1963
(51 years) why change it now? To appease a gaggle of man-hating harpies?
Newsflash! Genderswapping does NOT solve anything. In fact, making the Doctor a Woman would ELIMINATE the most ORIGINAL Male Hero on Television. *see Moffat's speech above*.
Why not add a Female Time Lord that can be the Hero these people desire? Why do we have to ELIMINATE a MALE HERO to REPLACE IT WITH A FEMALE?
Now here's the thing: Let's pretend that after Capaldi is done as the Doctor and regenerates into a Woman.
OK, so the Doctor is now a Woman. She had her series, companions, adversaries, etc. It's Regeneration time once more. BBC can't do another Male Doctor, because these Social Justice Morons are going to scream about "My soggy knee, Pay tree are key!" and the usual crap. Remember that these morons shamed a scientist to tears because he wore a tacky shirt that depicted women with guns and bathing suits. It doesn't matter that he landed a spaceship on a comet and that the shirt was made by a woman and given to him as a present. the same morons that cheered and celebrated that the Star Wars Ep. VII movie Trailer had no white men on it. Not that Star Wars Ep. VII was happening and that the Trailer looked Freaking Sweet (Soccer Ball Robot and Claymore Lightsaber aside).

The scenario I mentioned would be avoided if we ADD a new Time Lord (or in this case Time Lady) to the show instead of FORCING the Doctor into a Woman. Because let's face it. They don't mind when a Male is turned into a woman, but they will Bitch and Moan if we take a Female Character and make it a male... See Lewis in the Robocop Remake. (Then again, I did complain about that, but my complaint was slightly different. It was more like: If the character is a woman in the source Material, keep it a woman. If it was a man, then keep it a man!) People don't want to Change Buffy into Bucky the Vampire Slayer, nor Xena into Xen the Warrior Prince. Because that is a gimmick and it's a bunch of crap! Of course the gaggle of harpies would say: Changing a male Character into a Female is fighting the Patriarchy, the opposite is cementing oppression.

Catering to them will spell doom, because EVEN IF a TIME LADY is ADDED to the show, the harpies will moan about her being "a distaff counterpart" or if you wear tons of makeup and Hula Hoops in your ears you'll moan about a "Mrs. Male Character". As I posted before, switching the Doctor to a woman will be even worse, BECAUSE once he goes female, there will be NO TURNING BACK.

Instead of trying to change male heroes into female heroes, why not campaign for the introduction of MORE Female Heroes... or new shows WITH female heroes in the protagonist role. Wouldn't that be the better point to make than: "Change X into Female!!"
Then again, this is another "First World Problem" that "Feminism"* is fighting for. Screw those women who get their face splashed with acid in the Middle East for not accepting a prearranged marriages. Forget about girls being shot to death for wanting to get an education. A Female Doctor in Doctor Who is the most important thing to fight for.

BTW: This is the reason why GTA V is banned in Australia.

My main beef with this whole Doctor's gender issue is that the people fighting for this STUPID change are undermining the REAL EFFORTS by people to make REAL CHANGE WHERE IT MATTERS. Fighting off a boogeyman by doing nothing important and pretend they are some heroine, because they have been "harassed" by people who won't tolerate their crap. Fighting to stop the murder of girls, because they want an education = a good thing. Fighting for the rights of Princess Peach = Stupidity.

*= "Feminism" not to be confused with Feminism (mostly First Wave and Second Wave) that fought for real issues, unlike this recent highjacking of the term in order to promote hatred of men and fighting for irrelevant causes.

Dec 15, 2014

Girl Meets Merchandising

Yes, it's a Girl Meets World Rant... for a change, but it kinda is Toy Related, so it fits December.
It's weird that with the show being ON DISNEY Channel, we have not seen any Girl Meets World dolls. I mean, High School Musical, Hannah Montana, Wizards of Waverly Place and pretty much every show during the past few years on Disney Channel has gotten a doll.

OK, so Jessie, Liv and Maddie, Dog with a Blog and I didn't do it have not gotten any dolls. I forgot to mention that Austin and Ally didn't get any dolls either. So, basically research defeated my rant. But, speaking of which... Isn't it weird that Disney didn't pimp out toys out of these shows?

So, most Disney shows up until Shake it up! got dolls. So, my brain started thinking about a Girl Meets World Toyline... Obviously dolls, because I don't think the world is ready for a Farkle Action Figure...

There is one Teensy problem, that I am sure Disney has noticed. Girl Meets World's biggest audience is fans from BOY MEETS WORLD. Most of the Boy Meets World fans wouldn't buy the dolls...
Unless it was an Eric Doll... a TALKING Eric Doll to be precise.
And let's face it. Boy Meets World fans would rather have dolls from the Boy Meets World Characters than Cardboard cowboy who is a really bad male equivalent to Hippie Topanga, or Creepy Minkus Clone. Then again, we KNOW that the only dolls that would get made are: Girl Cory, Girl Shawn, Farkle and Lucas... No Cory, No Auggie and no Topanga. Because if we look at the previous Disney Doll lines, what are they all lacking...

PARENTS! No Robbie Ray, no Jerry Russo, no whatever the name of the Police lady who was one of the Shake it Up Girls' mom...

So, for Girl Meets World toys are basically a no-no... though a Mister Feeny Action Figure would be all kinds of badass.

But, I digress, Girl Meets World as a toyline wouldn't really work... Then again...

I got to be honest here. I do NOT WANT Girl Meets World to get any sort of Merchandising whatsoever, aside the DVDs for each season. It just wouldn't feel right. Boy Meets World Merchandise came long after the show ended and reruns were syndicated. Most of it is fan made with custom shirts with quotes from the show, but no dolls, videogames, nothing like that. I believe it makes the show feel a bit more special, than the standard Disney show. But since GMW is a Disneyfied BMW spin-off, the fear of Disney making dolls is always on the back of my head.They already made a long-winded excuse to have Sabrina Carpenter sing on the show... Dolls could be coming up next... Or a crossover with a Marvel toon... it depends on what the Mouse wants.

Dec 14, 2014

It Came From the Toy Chest: I shall Dub thee Peter!

Get it? Peter? The Only 200X Item from my Turducken Haul was the Griffin! AKA Beastman's answer to Bow's Arrow. The second Evil Steed in MOTUC is now in my hands. Let's crack him open and see what he's got!

200X Griffin. See how small Beastman looks on it.

Classics shrunk down the Griffin
The Griffins were seen on the 200X Cartoon made by Mike Young Productions and were basically the Evil Warriors Generic Steed. Beastman had many Griffins and these beasts carried the Evil Warriors to Battle. The size was reduced due to Classicizing BS (Translation: We need to reuse as many parts as possible) They got a new Saddle, because MOTU...

If you have a Battle Cat, a Panthor or a Battle Lion, you know what to expect here in the Articulation Department. All you need to do is look at any of those and then imagine Swift Wind's wings on them. Here he would have gotten a 4.5 if it wasn't for the Teensy Weensy issue of his Front Right Leg falling off Randomly. It simply pops off whenever I want to pose it. I SHOULD send it back to Digital River, but I've seen that issue happening with MOTUC cats at random and I don't want to risk it. Especially since it has a flawless paintjob.

Paint and Sculpt:
a simple Color swap shows the potential
for Clawdeen!
Peter is Amazeballs!
The Sculpt is mostly familiar. Seen with the past and future cats. the Head and tail are obviously new. So are the rear feet. The Neck and Upper Torso are new, but based on the Cat Buck. The New Saddle is Fantastic. It could work as a saddle for Clawdeen on a Battle Lion Body as well as it could work for Illumina's steed (easily made out of Panthor + Griffin Saddle) The paint on mine is Flawless.

Saddle... Not much to say here to be honest. Steeds rarely get any stuff to bring to the game aside their saddles. 2.5

The Griffin gets his Final Score of 3.5 because of the Leg popping off. If it didn't pop off then he would have gotten a higher score. He IS a nice addition and I kinda wish I had the funds and most importantly the SPACE for multiple Griffins.

Dec 13, 2014

It Came From the Toy Chest Chill out MOTUC Fans!

Yes, it's an ICE day to make Cool Puns! Better leave this to the Professionals.

I'm doing Icer today as a review!
This one is easy. His single Appearance was in The Ice Age Cometh... He's basically the standard naked buck with a few new pieces. A super cheap figure for Mattel to make. I apologize if my review is a bit cold...

Seriously, he is as standard as they come in this department. It snow surprise that NOTHING hinders it, since he's virtually naked.

paint and sculpt:
The sculpt is mostly the naked buck. New bracers, boots and head complete the look. The paint has a few issues. Some chipped off of his left bicep and the Frosted snowy look is a bit sloppy on him. He does look like the character, but that design reminds me of something else.

He has an Icicle Staff/Javelin and an extra accessory from the episode: Reign of the Monster (Icer does not appear here.) It's the Staff of Avion, Filmation Style. Stratos cannot hold this staff, due to the way his hands were sculpted. It's a shame that the China Seal was sculpted on the good side of the staff, since the side without the seal has all the "nipples" from the injection molding. 3.0

He's a very basic figure, but COOL looking. This gives him a 3.83 as his score. Not too bad, but it could have been a bit better. Heck, even I went easy on the review. No Frosta Jokes, no Winter is coming references... Heck! I didn't even make an Elsa joke... I guess I should just let it go...

hah! You were expecting the video to pop up! All jokes aside, he's OK...

than I expected.

It Came from the toy chest: Screw you Cherry Pickers? How do I have him then?

While he wasn't a Club Filmation Figure, Fang Man's single appearance was in The Time Corridor, a Filmation Episode. He was also the first "Screw you Cherry Pickers" figure that was NOT an Exclusive figure (like Wun-Dar or Shadow Weaver). He was a Monthly Figure that Mattel decided to hold back to "punish non-subbers." The "left overs" were available on the Turducken week and I caught him and most of Club Filmation with him. (Shokoti and TURD being the exception. Sea Hawk was available, but I already got him.)

Normally, I go into the Articulation, Paint/Sculpt and then Accessories in my Ratings. Because Fang Man has a peculiar sculpt that I have to discuss first, BEFORE going into the Articulation.

Paint and Sculpt:
The paint is sloppy on mine. The fins on his head and neck are missing some paint. It's small, but slop is slop. The paint on his nails on both hands is not complete. Parts of the nails are lacking paint. Then to make matters worse, one of the Accessories was put on his hand while wet and left some paint on the hand. Then to make matters worse, the Accessory has to huge gaps where the paint is missing. then he has some weird paint gashes on his snout.

The Sculpt... Here's where the Horsemen pulled a very ballsy move full of BS. The Horsemen didn't do a new Torso for Fang Man. They reused the Scaly body (Not that you'll notice unless you strip Fang Man... Which, BTW DON'T. It's a pain in the ass to put his shirt back on.) and made the shirt look like he has fins on it poking out the back AND a plug to extend the neck. This forces Fang Man to be in a permanently crouched pose to recreate his look!

Standard MOTUC Articulation, though the Ab Crunch is rendered useless due to his shirt. If you stand Fang Man, you'll see his scaly abdomen and risk a partial unfastening of his tabs. (That's bad!!) He has an unintended additional Point of Articulation on his neck (the extension plugs in to the normal neck and the head plugs into the extension). While the head and neck rotate, Fang Man cannot turn his head sideways.

Fang Man has 3 Accessories and Two of them don't belong to him. (The Sword of the Ancients from the Masks of Power episode) and the Time Wheel from the Episode Fang Man appears.the Time Wheel is the Accessory that lost paint in Fang Man's hand. Sadly, it looks cheaper than I'd expected. I think I need to locate the shop of whoever made a 3d printed wheel of time to replace mine.
The Third Accessory is some sort of Cattle Prod.


Fang Man gets a 3.5 as his score. He lost a lot of points due to the sloppy paints on mine. Basically, if you have or get a better Fang Man, then you can be assured that if I had gotten yours, then he would have scored Higher. In a way he's more useful for what he has than for who he is.