Jun 28, 2014

Despara: The Rant.

I'm strongly sided in team Despara for MOTUC. This is so far the only TRULY GOOD THING out of the NU52 MOTU. I'm HOPING that the 2015 Sub exclusive IS her... The reasoning behind wanting Despara is simple. Despara is the most intimidating form of Force Captain Adora.
This has nothing to do with Matt C. Kayser's amazing fanfic (though it helps out my desire for her)
Second: I can display both Despara and Adora and have a myriad of explanations for it.
(Adora battling her inner demon, the Despara title was given to another and now Adora has to end her "legacy", etc.)

Third: Despara would look so freaking sweet in a Horde Display.

Crazy thing is that Despara through the Classicizer Machine with heavy reuse is almost doable...
Heads: New (one based on the Adora mold but with ears and short hair. The other is based on her Hordak-esque Helmet.)
The Torso is obviously Battleground Teela's.
Armor and cape are new.
Shoulders: Scorpia
Biceps and Forearms are Adora's
the hands are the normal Female hands
The "Loincloth" would be a new piece
Her thighs would be Entrapta's and her shins Frosta's
Her Feet are Teela's and that gives us a Classicized Despara...

Of course, I'd welcome a Despara with more new pieces, but I can sacrifice a few Details for getting the figure.

With that said, I'm hoping that Despara ends up being the sub exclusive. Since Eldor is coming in October 2014, there is no real figure to fill in that role of "Sub Exclusive"... I mean, what? are we going to fill in that Slot with Oo-Larr: The Alcala He-Man?
An even MORE NAKED He-Man to fill in the slot of Sub Exclusive...
Really? He's not even THE He-Man in the MOTUC canon... Sorry Pre-Filmation fans, but having this guy as a sub exclusive at this stage of the game is not a great idea. Then there's the 2015 Mini Comic, which ties in with Gorpo's Mini comic, so another reason for Despara to be the Sub Exclusive.

I mean, there is a more horrible direction that Mattel could go with sub exclusives... Skeleteen, or Dare. (who I fear may sneak in the line if we're to believe Scott Neitlich)

around the one minute mark he mentions what the 2015 sub will have... Completing Vintage MOTU and Variants, Completing POP minus variants, key NA, Filmation, MYP, and MINI COMIC Characters.

Scott had mentioned before that Son of He-Man characters would most likely be 2016 items...Since there is no 2016 now, I expect Dare and Skeleteen to show up as the Chase item and Traveling Con item... In these slots they're not part of the sub which keeps the Vintage Wrap-up promise as true. Also they are the most A-List characters of the He-Ro: son of He-Man era. Scott DID say something about giving us A-Listers from other eras, which also covers Dare and Skeleteen. (who happen to be the only two missing figures from that era, since we have KHM, Spector, SLL, Demo-Man, and Gorpo) Well, I don't have a King He-Man since I didn't do the Full 2013 sub, but you get the idea.

I don't KNOW if it'll be Despara, but she seems the Optimum Candidate for Sub Exclusive... That's not counting the whole (84 vs 85 being She-ra's true "birthyear" and making 14 or 15 her true 30th.)

Well, there is always Songster, who I'd totally welcome, but he has No Chance in Hell...

Jun 27, 2014

The Topangaborn is here... my thoughts.

While the Final Club Eternia Sub-a-thon has begun today, I've been expecting the Topangaborn too!
Now that I've watched the first episode of Girl Meets World, I have to say... it HAS Potential. They just need to fix one thing.

Yes, I've made peace with the fact that Cory and Topanga are not the main focus of the show.
The show has a vibe similar to Seasons 1 and 2 of Boy Meets World put through the Modern Disney Channel Lens. Hence, the annoying Farkle, and a bit of soullessness on it. I blame it on it being a pilot episode and this can be fixed with a few more episodes. On the other hand, this episode seems to have some shades of "Me and Mr. Joad" from Boy Meets World... The one where Messrs  Matthews and Hunter have a strike because of a test. Season 2 Episode 4. Riley is basically a Distaff Counterpart of Cory, while Maya is a Distaff Counterpart of Shawn. Farkle is a Disneyfied knockoff of Stuart Minkus... Rumor has it that he is the Son of Minkus...

For this show to be GREAT, they need to do one of two things:
Dial down Farkle a few notches
Eliminate Farkle!!

Right in the feels...
Honestly, I think I'll keep watching, as long as Riley and Maya stay as the main Characters. If it becomes the Farkle show; I'm out!

It came from the Toy Chest: White Stretchy Knight Edition

This is my MOTUC Extendar review and before I start; I'll point some things out:

-I never had Extendar as a child, so I have no attachment to him.
-I think that by default he is better than Sir-Laser-Lot, since he's the Original MOTU Knight.
-The Horde Created a White Knight with a Peace Sign on his neck... WTF?
-I am very likely to WILL mock some "Internet White Knights" with this figure. Mostly their behavior, not the persons.
-This is another "Buzz-Off" which makes a past character useless... Ooh! Poor Mekaneck... He already has low self-esteem... This guy might ruin what little self-esteem he has.
unextended he's OK-ish

With all that said: Let's tackle the Tower of Power: Extendar!

Just by looking at him you can see that he does NOT have standard MOTUC Articulation. He has extra points of articulation when extended, but some of the basic PoA are severely limited (ankles, Shoulders, thighs) Incredibly enough while limited, the ankles are loose as Heck! Also, his hands are gummy... and I'm talking Gummi Bear Gummy... 3.0

Without extending his arm is super long.
Paint and Sculpt:
It's pretty obvious that he is composed mostly of new parts. Only the hands seem reused. Now the sculpt... was ruined by Ruben Martinez... His incompetence knows no bounds. the Forearms are ridiculously long because no one thought: "Hey! Let's make the bracer and hand one piece like Horde Prime. Since it's removable the swivel PoA would be preserved there. That way we could have the hole be on the bracer and the peg be on the forearm. That would make him incompatible with Trap Jaw, etc, but his ball joints on the body already make him incompatible with Trap Jaw, etc.
Then there's the crotch... the explanation of Safety Regulations requiring the huge golden belt can be best described by Jeff Goldblum

Luckily, I was able to fix this...
I can say that because my Extendar had his loincloth unglued. It fell off as I pulled him apart to test the extensions. While, yes they DID need some clearance space for the plug to fit, the design decision to widen the top red band on his belt instead of widening the red part of his belt is a horrible decision further proof of Ruben's incompetence. Aside Ruben's incompetence, the new pieces made by the Horsemen look pretty Cool. Paintwise, mine is a bit sloppy. The gold paint seems to be missing in some small areas of his belt, shoulders, boot accents, forearms and armor.

He has his Vintage Shield, with the advantage that it has real hinges instead of folding a strip of plastic.
stretched out he topples easily...
He has a brand new lance... that would totally rock in Translucent red for Sir Loser-Lot! Then there are his extensions.
So far the only good pic I have of him...
3.33 is the Score for Extendar. I mostly blame the iffy paintjob on mine, the fact that mine came apart in an unexpected way and Ruben's incompetence. Personally, if I was a cherry picker, this guy would have stayed behind. He does very little to me as a toy... Maybe I just need to warm up to him or something.

2015 Sub-a-thon has begun...

Now for a Mandatory Shang Tsung clip...

The Subscription Period began a few hours ago on Mattycollector.
The Figures Price increase is from $25 to $26...
Translation: Two Packs are $52, Variants are $26, there'a a $42 Item Guessing a steed and the Year End Holiday Item ($60) possibly Multibot. Gauging by the remaining Vintage items I can safely speculate: 2 $52 items are He-Man vs Skeletor two packs (Flying Fist He-Man vs Terror Claws Skeletor, then the Laser themed pack) The sole Variant is likely to be BS Hordak. I'm hoping that the steed is either Clawdeen or Storm.

This time the subs have an end cap... Not a minimum cap, but a maximum cap. No more subs past X amount will be sold. I hope they also have a Y amount of subs as a minimum.

This is it guys, the Last Ride... Let's make it happen and kick Mattel in the butt to show them that MOTU fans are determined to see this to the end... Or at least to complete Vintage MOTU and POP with a sprinkling of other stuff.

Oh yeah, if you sign up before July 25th, Toyguru will send you a free set of stackable stands...
(Not dumping them on us because they were unpopular) but free stuff is the best kind of stuff (like how I've gotten my Duncan #2, Shadow Weaver, Thunderpunch He-Man, Sy-Klone, Vykron,Wind Raider, Zecora among other things that I've gotten for gratis and I've reviewed...) So, yeah... a set of stands for free... cool. Gift Horse and all that.

Point is that Scare Tactics or not, Mattel is hellbent on ending this sub drive as fast as possible.

So, if you wanna sub up, hit Mattycollector!
I got mine and it seems that shipping on January is gratis! Sure I had a few issues and had to call Customer Service, but I got my Order Confirmation and was billed for whoever is the Sub Exclusive for 2015... final MOTU Year... Giddy up!
*Update* shipping's not free. Seems that the free stands that Mattel is tossing in is giving people a discount on shipping.

Jun 26, 2014

The Sequel to the Keldor Chronicles is out

I commented a while back about the MOTU Fanfic: The Keldor Chronicles. Well, the sequel has come out and I finished reading it.

Ho-Ly Crap! Masters of the Universe: Legacies is a great read! It takes elements from multiple MOTU Continuities and combines them in a way that the Official Mattel Canon wishes it would have done.
Its focus is mainly on Despara... The Force Captain Adora from the NU52. I have to be honest: The Chronicles of Keldor was a great read, but this one is WAY BETTER. (Though I may be biased, because of my POP favoritism) This one is a bit longer too! I LOVED the way Despara's story was told. Matt C. Kayser knocked it out of the park.

Jun 25, 2014

Young and Hungry: Emily Osment steps from Her Brother and Miley's shadows.

Ah, Emily Osment... So underrated in Hannah Montana as Miley's Sidekick, Lilly.

She is also known as Someone's Little Sister... I'll give you a hint:

Well it was Disney Related... Let me try again...

Yes, She is Haley Joel Osment's kid sister... Now ascended to a Show Lead... Sure she's done a few Lifetime movies, but now she's carrying her own show. No Miley to overshadow her.

Young and Hungry... Yeah, I'm not so sure that I'll watch it religiously.

There's the ad promo for the show... I watched the pilot and It was so-so. The show had a vibe similar to The Nanny, even if the show wasn't a straight up knock-off like a lame Disney Channel show.

I still need to get used to her new character Gabi and not see Lilly or Lola. While Arrow is in hiatus, I may watch this... But when Ollie Queen Returns, I'm sorry Lilly... er... Gabi! So far, I'll give it the 3 Episode test. If by the third Episode I'm not hooked, buh-bye!

While totally unrelated, this is scaring me a little bit. Am I getting too hyped for Girl Meets World?

Jun 24, 2014

Lara Croft: smaller boobs = better gameplay?

Finally I was able to play the 2013 Tomb Raider Reboot. I've briefly touched upon my issues with Past Tomb Raider games in the Raiding Lara rant.

I can easily see why some old school Tomb Raider fans may not like this game. Luckily, my Relationship with Tomb Raider isn't that great, so I can overlook a lot of issues Hardcore Old School Tomb Raider fans have with this game.

Unlike Toys, I use a scale of 1-10 for games. As always, the closer to zero is bad, while the further away from zero = good!

Princess Sunbutt Loves the Solarii
This is a Reboot, so past Tomb Raider Continuity is non-existent. Hardcore Old-School Tomb Raider Fans have complained about this. They also referenced characters from the old games that did NOT appear here. Basically Lara and the crew of the Endurance become Castaways on an Island near Japan.
something something Crazy Cult... Something Something
Worshiping a Sun Queen... Something Something, Lara has to man-up in order to stop the Crazy Cult from using the Power of the (possibly evil) Sun Queen.

It feels a bit like Uncharted, which makes sense, since Nathan Drake owes a lot of his existence to Lara Croft. The Skill Points and Survivor mode reminded me a bit of The Last of Us... Again, a good thing. The gameplay is not perfect due to the camera. A few deaths happened to me because the camera decided to stick close to Lara and not letting me see who the hell was shooting at me when turning! Others were by the unexpected QTEs that happen once in a blue moon.

They are responsive, aside the camera controls, as I mentioned in the gameplay section. They can be slightly unresponsive during the few QTEs that happen during the game and the game isn't as lenient here.

Music and sounds:
The music, I'll be honest it's there, but I don't really recall it. None of it reminded me of Ye Olde Tomb Raider Games... The only thing that made me chuckle, because of Nostalgia... (remember that I'm not super attached to Ye Olde Tomb Raider) was this:

The voice acting was pretty good. Most of the main character VA's I didn't recognize... and I've seen some of their other work as actors and I never put 1 +1 together.

I'm playing the Last Gen version (PS3 to be precise) and I KNOW that Current Gen versions (PS4 and XBOne) look better. So, for a PS3 Game, the graphics are pretty good. I did notice a few Clipping issues with a few dead bodies on some parts of the game and once Lara slipped through a climbable surface and slid up all the way to where she was supposed to go.

Fun Factor:
The game is fun, if a bit frustrating at times. There are 7 Optional Puzzles that have a Traditional Tomb Raider Flair... They were somewhat frustrating until the Solution slapped me in the face for being such an idiot. Personally I wish the game had gotten a few more. One tiny nitpick is that the game can try to hold your hand a little bit too much.

This New Lara gets an Overall score of 8.0 That is a great score, for a game in a franchise that I am not too fond of. I would welcome a sequel to this new Lara. No need to go back to

Jun 23, 2014

Things that I'm hoping to see on MGSV: The Phantom Pain

As you may know, if you've been reading my Non-MOTU and non-MLP rants; I was a bit underwhelmed by Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes  I partially blame Kiefer Sutherland for it. The rest is deviations from Traditional Metal Gear Elements.

Wait... Trailer is showing Ground Zeroes stuff as well; what's going on here!? Yay! Some seemingly superhuman characters... Is that Ginger child Psycho Mantis?

What the Hell!? Was that Metal Gear MK.II as a Tank!?  Well, it IS a Metal Gear so that KINDA kills off one of the things I wanted in this game. Ground Zeroes lacked a big Weapon of Mass Destruction to be eliminated by one Snake. I want that on The Phantom Pain

So, things I want to see in The Phantom Pain:

-More info on the La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo... This one is rather obvious. I want to know more about the Evil Organization that rules the world from the shadows. They were pretty much the REAL Antagonists from MGS 2 and 4... With me doing their Dirty Work on 2...

-NO 3 Hours of Torture and Rape of any Female Characters. I had enough from the Chico Tapes and I've Finally recovered enough that I can watch My Little Pony Friendship is Magic and not hear Paz when Twilight Sparkle Speaks.

-At least ONE SCENE referencing the Cardboard Box. Even if it's not an in-game item.

-More tapes with Classic MG Themes. Sure, it was great to have the Theme of Tara, but I want More... like Red Alert from MG, then there's the MG2 Music... I have a few tracks that I'd like to see. That's without Touching the Solid Games (I'd like to see Snake Eater, Heaven's Divide, and Calling to the Night returning.) Sure, I could add some of these with the MP3 Playback option, but it's not the same. No love for Love Deterrence? I like the song, but the whole Raping Paz from Ground Zeroes, kills a lot of the love for this song.

-No More References to Shadow Moses Heliport... I love the Original MGS a LOT, but the Heliport is starting to become annoying. It was a nice Easter Egg in MGS 4. The whole Deja Vu mission was pushing it... Not even the  A SURVEILLANCE CAMERA!?   reference. STOP IT!!

-More info on Les Enfants Terrible... While, yes it seems that Eli, the kid who curses his fate may be a 12 year old Liquid Snake!! I hope we learn a bit more about the project. (Eli's VA is British, his back has some Kanji that say: Liquid Man, then there's the whole David and ELIab from the Bible. Both of them being brothers...) Hopefully they'll drop some hints on the whole Solidus thing.

-Human Bosses. I don't want this to be a repeat of Peace Walker, where you capture soldiers to defeat the vehicle driver. I wanna fight guys who do superhuman stuff like Float and mess with your save file to see how many Konami Games you play... Or guys who spit out Killer Bees! I don't want bosses that can be dealt with with 1 shot.

-More Cutscenes, but not as many as MGS4... Ground Zeroes felt lacking and after a few replays, the lack of Cutscenes feels wrong.

Now that I have gotten a bit more used to Ground Zeroes, and bothered to do the side missions, go for no-kill playthroughs, go for Kill-all playthroughs, I might be ready for The Phantom Pain... I still stand by my First Impressions score.

Jun 22, 2014

All Toylines must end... or Reinvent themselves.

Rebranding the line COULD be an option. Not sure if it will happen since the Guru is sending mixed Signals. With that said, if a Rebranding happens, it may not be such a bad thing.

Now, This rant is based on idea that the rebranding is a change in name and will keep using the basic bodies made by the FourHorsemen Studios and any new pieces are being made by Mattel's design team. No changes in scale for the sake of the idea. A Worst Case Scenario is a change of scale.

So, once again, assuming Mattel decides to reuse these already made molds , then we COULD be for a treat.

-The New Name for the line May give Mattel an easily exploitable Loophole to do "Reelease" of Classics Figures that couldn't be reissued under the Classics Banner because of self-imposed rules by Mattel. Figures like Shadow Weaver, King He-Man, etc.

-Neitlich may see the rebranded line as a perfect outlet to release the maligned Skeleteen and Dare. (Though, I STRONGLY Believe that they ARE coming in 2015)

-Correcting Past Mistakes from Classics: Roboto's cracking Chest comes to mind (and his reversed Shoulders... Hell, a TRUE Vintage King Hssss with Corrected Shoulders, 6 Snaked alternate Torso and reusing Dekker's boots would be a nice touch!

-Reissuing Normal Figures that are Hard To Find (or doing redecos). Of course I'm talking about of the infamous 12.
Evil Lyn
Trap Jaw

IF this line were to reach Retail, I expect less paint deco and Accessories. for Example, MAA would have only his mace, would lose one of his heads and maybe he'd get a new back piece for the armor WITHOUT the extra holsters for weapons he will not get. Then less paint applications on him, cause Logistics.

Before anyone says Rebuying the 12 pack, there is one way that would make some of y'all consider it.

Picture something like that but with a MOTUC Scaled Figure. Obviously with a lot less Cardboard and no mini comic.
A Vintage inspired card may impress even the Loose Collectors to get a MOC figure or two.

But, in order for us to be worried about 2016, we first need to MAKE IT PAST 2015... As I said on my last rant, If we can afford it, we NEED to Saddle up for one last ride.

Of course Rebranding Could mean a change like Total Heroes line for DC and make the MOTUC bucks obsolete.

Jun 20, 2014

Toyguru drops an A-Bomb for 2015

We knew the Buy the Sub would start on this month... But we didn't expect this (or the Spanish Inquisition)

This ad has a familiar vibe to it...

Holy crap! Is this for Real!? The Guru basically is saying that 2015 is The Final Year for MOTUC!!
THIS IS THE SUB THAT WE NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT IT REACHES ITS GOAL!! This is the Final Sub... If we give up for 2015, then we will lose the Final Year... Completing the Vintage MOTU Roster (Including Variants) and Completing the POP Roster (Excluding Variants) and some key Players from the Filmation, Jetlag and Mike Young Productions MOTU Cartoons!

The Most Expansive MOTU Line will end (and will do so BEFORE George RR Martin gets to release the sixth ASoIaF book) I know these last two years, I've campaigned for the sub and we have gotten some awesome figures.

It's been one HELL of a Ride, when you look back at the things that we got, we went beyond the original lines in some ways. In other ways we fell short of those vintage lines. Right now, we need to saddle up ONE MORE TIME to get the most comprehensive MOTU Line EVER!!

I have to be honest here. MOTUC may be OUR LAST MOTU Rodeo (as we remember) in our lifetime. Giving up before this LAST Roundup is most likely to bury MOTU FOREVER! If we make this Final Sub and beat the lights out of it, we COULD make Mattel Rethink the whole 2015 is the end... Do we want to end the line without completing the rosters of the main two lines or do we want to complete those and see what else we can make Mattel produce for us to buy?

Remember to visit Mattycollector on Friday June 27 to buy the Final Sub... Just buy as many as you need and can afford comfortably. If you need and can afford only one, so be it. If you need 3 and can afford them, go for it. If you can't afford any subs, then at least help promoting the Final year and hope for the best!

(I have to admit, that pic is freaking awesome! Shame that only for the Final Year Mattel pulls off a bitchin' piece of art!)

Jun 19, 2014

Kim Kardashian Videogame is coming... no, wait, it's ALREADY OUT!?

I am surprised that Miss Pop Culture Critic has not said ANYTHING ABOUT THIS GAME. Cause, you know, she's such a HARDCORE Gamer and ultra fan of gaming. Kim Kardashian: Hollywood A game where Kim Kardashian helps you become a celebrity... She recently talked about "Prostituted Women" in videogames and how bad it is that they exist. Not to mention that the term "Prostituted Women" makes it sound like ALL WOMEN are FORCED Into Prostitution. I fear the backlash she'll get from the women in the sex profession. This time she can't blame it on men. But I digress... Kim Kardashian, why was she famous again? Something something Sex Tape, hanging out with Paris Hilton, right? So, using Miss Pop Culture Critic's Logic (Leaps) we could say that her key to fame was Sex. Why isn't she attacking a game where you follow a woman who became famous by Banging Moesha's brother.

This is Farmville's Crappy Cousin... You click stuff, wait for nothing to happen and eventually the game will demand your money.

Worst part is that this isn't THE ONLY Kim Kardashian game in the market... The WTF Factor on this has made me pollute my blog by mentioning the name Kardashian... (I feel bad about Robert because of how his family turned the name Kardashian into an abomination that should be erased from Earf!)

We really need some MOTUC reveals soon, otherwise I might slip into madness (but not enough to play the Kim K game! I still have some dignity. I'll replay Ground Zeroes and force myself to like it so I can kick the Phantom Pain's ass!)

Now to wash off the horrible Kim West aftertaste, let me mention Miley Cyrus!!
This time it's a POSITIVE THING!! Miley took some time to send a special message to a dying fan. shame that the child died, but at least the child is at rest now. It's a really sweet thing that Miley took time to do this for a fan. Personally, I'd rather read more Miley Stories like this instead of the usual: "Look at me! I'ma grownup! I dress up scantily and dance suggestively!" Miley stories.

Jun 17, 2014

Odds and ends 6-17-14 One More Resident Milla Movie?

And it's the end of Mega Mary Sue stealing the Spotlight of the Resident Evil In Name Only Franchise... They might be 4 movies too late for that, but all I can say is:

My main beef with the Resident Evil movies is that they ditched 95% of the stuff from the games and we got Milla Jovovich playing pretty much the same role she plays in every movie... Knowing that this franchise is coming to an end  brings me tears of joy!

Teenage Mutant Nickelodeon Turtles is getting a fourth Season... Also, Leonardo no longer engages sexual congress with fruit pastries. Now he's been replaced by Seth Green... I honestly don't know how to feel about this... Except sad... I had mostly gotten over the fact that Leonardo should never have apple pie. Now we have the Lame-Bomb!!

Real Life Fisto!? I saw this article floating around on Facebook, MotU fans were commenting on how this guy is pretty much a Real Life Fisto (before the Metal Hand)...
The guy has a rare Bone Disorder that gave him that huge right arm. SONY Pictures and Mattel should be looking for him as references for Fisto. The guy is a bit TOO Young for Fisto, also he is German and I'm not sure if he speaks English fluently enough to work on the movie. Third and most important: He is not an actor (as far as I know).

Zoinks! A Scooby-Doo Reboot is coming. Um, didn't Cartoon Network do one of those already. Fred Looks like he's Related to Oliver Queen, Velma is one of the Holograms and the Voice of New Adventures He-Man and 200X Man-at-Arms was in the first Cartoon Network movie...
This bit of news seems a bit ill-timed since Casey Kasem died last Sunday, but in all fairness; he had passed the baton to Matthew Lillard when the Live Action Movie with Buffy as Daphne, Freddie Prinze Jr. as Fred... The one where Scrappy is evil!

Jun 16, 2014

She's Baaaaaaaack! with Background Decoration...

After Six Months and two days short of reaching the Seventh Month, the Infamous, Pop Culture Critic is Back. This is the Third Topic in her series. The First being Damsels in Distress, the Second being Distaff Counterpart under a sexist name. Now, It's Background decoration: Part I... Really, we need Multiple episodes for this? Also, WHEN is she doing the Fighting @#$%! toy!?

New Intro! New Plaid shirt!! Oh goodie! Your $159,000 at work... Assuming you donated to her kickstarter. As always, comments and ratings are disabled, because Patriarchy and trolls (who work for the Patriarchy!)

Replace Patriots with Patriarchy and you get the idea... A Few Warnings before I begin:

I am not a misogynist, I do not hate women and I believe that humans should be treated equally. With that said, I believe the person making these videos is a liar, a hypocrite, a rabble-rouser and a mouthpiece to a more sinister being. It's not that I dislike her as a person, my dislike of her comes from her work. Specifically speaking about  the piss poor analysis of her topics (especially after getting paid $160,000 for it), passing crap as fact, hypocrisy and media manipulation to play the "victim card". I HAVE NO ANIMOSITY TOWARDS HER PERSON. If her videos had better research, didn't rely on cheap jabs at other cultures, did not took things out of context and were "contextualized" as something completely different to prove a point and her process was more transparent; I'd be OK with her opinions (I may or may not have agreed with them) but as they stand right now, I can't agree with her opinions and cannot take her seriously, BECAUSE of the flaws in her analysis and lack of understanding in the matter.

Nearly $160,000 in money collected to talk about first world problems. Genital Mutilation of women... Psh! That's irrelevant! Talking about how oppressed Reiko Nagase is in Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiidge Racerrrrrrrrrrr! is where the real problems are!

Now that I got that out of the way; We must remember that it is both possible (and even necessary) to simultaneously enjoy her videos while also being critical of its more problematic or pernicious aspects. We have to remember that these videos do not exist in a vacuum, they are an increasingly influential part of our larger social and cultural ecosystem.

So, back to the main topic: New plaid shirt. She sounds a bit more stuffier than last time... She sounds almost like she's channeling her inner Ben Stein. Starting up she's close to making a point that actually makes sense. Advertisements for games often used women.
The most infamous one is the naked SEGA Saturn girl.  She says:
"In these promotional materials, advertisers are not just selling a product, they are also selling gaming as a lifestyle in which women predominantly exist as passive objects of heterosexual male desire."

But she misses the obvious part: These advertisements are inspired by the pin-up girls often seen in ads for cars and car parts.
Heck! in a way, the SEGA ad is MOCKING said vintage ads.

So, let's move on from the ads and continue with the video.
I define the Women as Background Decoration trope in video games as: The subset of largely insignificant non-playable female characters whose sexuality or victimhood is exploited as a way to infuse edgy, gritty or racy flavoring into game worlds. These sexually objectified female bodies are designed to function as environmental texture while titillating presumed straight male players. Sometimes they’re created to be glorified furniture but they are frequently programmed as minimally interactive sex objects to be used and abused.

Translation for the TL;DR crowd: Background characters can't be female.

With that "definition" that she gives us, I'm betting that she'll mention GTA, Red Dead Redemption, The Godfather, Scarface, and Duke Nukem among the games she'll demonize. Betcha' she'll mention the Red Dead Redemption prostitutes and the Dastardly Trophy. (That can be done with any non-important NPC woman in the game, not just prostitutes.)
Strippers, prostitutes will be targets. I wonder if the girls from the Threesome Mini game from God of War will make it. Not the girls I expected, but God of War made it...
Yup, She went straight after the Strippers and hookers from games... What, did she expect brothels full of nuns!? Hoo boy! Now I can see why this will take multiple videos.

"Unlike other NPCs that exist for purposes outside of their sexuality, Non-Playable Sex Objects have little to no individual personality or identity to speak of, and almost never get to be anything other than set dressing or props in someone else’s narrative."

MOST NPCs Have Little to no individual Personality, or identity to speak of, and almost never get to be anything other than set dressing or props in someone else’s narrative. Let's take MGS V: Ground Zeroes as an example. There's over 40 US Marines running about in Camp Omega. they are props for Big Boss to interrogate (to find item locations) kill or capture. Their importance to the main plot of the game is virtually non-existent. The only important NPCs are: Paz and Chico, and even then they're just glorified props in Big Boss' story. (Same can be said about Miller and Huey.) NPCs on bigger games, like say GTA games are pretty much a set of scripted witty lines, depending on the character's class. Expecting a fully fledged character out of Random NPC # 459 is ridiculous.

And she found a way to add racism to the mix...  Disappointed that she didn't use GTA 3 where we get a nod to the infamous quote from a certain movie.
wait... this is turning into an anti-prostitution video, disguised as a videogame video.
So, she whines that the characters in the hooker class are interchangeable and often have similar skins per game. Really? If a game has similar skins for one class, all the other classes of characters will have characters with skins similar to their individual class.

The reason for classes having a few sets of skins is mostly for a few reasons:
-It's less taxing on resources to have "clones" than multiple characters that are completely different from each other. (Hardware limitations)
-It helps the player Identify the character classes and plan accordingly (whether it's a harmless NPC  or an enemy NPC)

Since these women are just objects, there’s no need or reason for players to have any emotional engagement with them. Meaningful relationships or interactions are not even possible. Their programming simply does not allow for it.
No, just, no... ALL VIDEOGAME CHARACTERS ARE JUST OBJECTS... sprites/polygons and lines of code. THEY ARE NOT REAL. Just like Katniss Everdeen and Edward Cullen are lines of text.

And I love how she dismisses that what you can do to NPCs is not gender exclusive. She is painting a skewed picture as if it can ONLY be done to women...

She reached Red Dead Redemption...
No, you nincompoop! The Lasso can be used with ALL NPCs, not exclusively with Prostitutes. And she did mention the Dastardly trophy... Which again... DASTARDLY!! Obviously not GOOD!!

ALL NPCs ARE DISPOSABLE!! Both Male AND Female... 7 months, for this crap!? I still have ten more minutes to go... Shoot!

The Busted! (and Wasted!) status in GTA ARE the GAME OVER SCREENS, but instead of saying Game Over, they use Busted or Wasted. Losing some money and your items is the "punishment" for getting arrested or dying. Starting at the Police Station or Hospital is the equivalent of "using a Continue"...
The Violence is NOT EXCLUSIVE AGAINST WOMEN... You can beat up, shoot, explode, run over, etc. Male NPCs as well as Female NPCs!!

Basically, Women Background Characters should be invincible ninja nuns! With extensive background stories... even if you only see them on screen for 2 seconds.

Clever move,  with this quote you can wave away any criticism of your work.
Studies have found, for example, that after having viewed sexually objectified female bodies, men in particular tend to view women as less intelligent, less competent and disturbingly express less concern for their physical well being or safety. Furthermore this perception is not limited only to sexualized women; in what is called the “Spill Over Effect”, these sexist attitudes carry over to perceptions of all women, as a group, regardless of their attire, activities or professions.
 Since this time you didn't censor the virtual nudity... (You censored cutscenes on DiD 2, but not here... Clever move!!) you can argue that anyone calling you an idiot, a dumbass, etc. is doing it because of videogame boobs making them not think right.

(Rantviewing The Room was a lot easier than doing this... 9 of her topics to go...)

Jun 15, 2014

Zoinks! Casey Kasem has passed away.

Just letting y'all know that Casey Kasem has passed away. To many, he was the voice behind the Top 40 countdown. To others he was

May he rest in piece.

Jun 13, 2014

The Room: The Rant

Finally, I did it... I caved in and re-watched The Room. I had watched
it once in the last decade, about 9-10 years ago. I was in college and 
many of my pals from that era were film students. They were into the 
indy movie scene. Somehow, I ended up with a group and saw The Room in 
a classroom. I didn't see the whole thing because I had to leave 
halfway through the movie (I had an Italian Test that Friday.) Now, I 
got a copy of the movie from a different friend and I'm ready to 
rantview it...

Yes, I'm aware that other folks have reviewed this movie and are 
better at expressing the issues with it. So, here is The Room: the 

This is a Horrible Movie. It's awful, but the silver lining is the 
Music. Seriously, take a listen to the Title Theme. It has some bits 
that Remind me of The Legend of Zelda.

So, here's the thing. This is a Tommy Wiseau Film... Remember him with 
his ridiculous and tacky Memorial Day commercial? Well, the Tommy 
Wiseau in this movie is not the Self-Deprecating Tommy Wiseau. This 
Tommy Wiseau is directing a serious movie that he wrote, produced, and 
starred in. There will be spoilers!!

Wiseau stars as Johnny, a abnker who sees his world fall apart as life 
deals him some really crappy hands. So he arrives to his home where 
his girlfriend Lisa awaits. Some really awkward interactions lead to 
Lisa wearing a red dress that Johnny brought her. In pops in Denny... 
Some kid that hangs out at Johnny's for no real reason and cannot take 
a very obvious hint for him to get lost. (because upcoming sex scene.)
Wait, I get it... Denny KNOWS that sex will happen and he is ACTIVELY 
trying to cock-block Johnny.

Upcoming Sex Scene Resumes... They Foreplayed all the way into the 
night... or Horrible editing. The sex in this scene is horrible. It's 
so bad that it should be used in schools in order to teach 
abstinence!! Also, nude Tommy Wiseau helps. He kinda looks like a Wax 
Museum replica of Tommy Wiseau on a moderately warm room. Warm enough 
for the wax to start to melt, but not hot enough for it to fully melt.

Johnny leaves to work and Lisa's mother shows up. She talks to Lisa 
and tries to keep Lisa engaged to Johnny because of Money. Lisa 
doesn't love Johnny and finds him boring. What I find boring is the 
bad exposition given by Lisa's mom. She now leaves. Seriously, she 
came in for exposition and left immediately.

Lisa calls Johnny's friend, Mark... who is busy sitting on a car doing 
stuff. Mark is a bit stupid or dense. Mark shows up at Johnny's and 
Lisa throws herself at him, but he is TOTALLY CLUELESS. 

Mark FINALLY catches a drift of what's going on and tries to stop 
Lisa... He fails miserably and ends up having awkward and 
uncomfortable stair sex with Lisa. So much for not having sex with his 
Best Friend's Girlfriend.
"Why did you do this to me? Why?" Really? DUDE!! You could have walked 
away and not have sex with your best friend's girlfriend! You need at 
least two people to have sex! It's a good thing that Mark is vowing to 
not have... OH COME ON!!

OK, Infamous Scene coming up!
 I'll let the actual scene do the talking.
Lisa orders pizza half bacon and pineapple half pesto and artichoke, 
light on the cheese... Creeper Denny shows up!
That kid is a Sexual Harrassment PSA Creeper on two legs... and he 
leaves after sexually harrassing Lisa.

Johnny FINALLY arrives home with the flowers and he gets bummed after 
Lisa asks about his promotion.
Look Lady, If you ask him: "Did you get your promotion?" and he 
replies: "Naaaaah!" I'm pretty sure the answer is NO!!
Now, if you already ordered the Pizza, why ask him!? What would you 
have done if he had said: "Naaah! I'm in a mood for Tacos!"
So, non-drinker Johnny gets pressured into drinking and where the hell 
did the pizza come from!? I know she ordered it before Johnny came in, 
but she went to the kitchen to get the vodka and Presto! The Pizza 
arrived!? I am starting to doubt the verisimilitude of this story. 

Seriously, Lisa says: "If you want me, you'll drink it!!" What the 
Hell is Johnny a 14-year-old socially awkward geek trying to impress 
the head cheerleader!? You know they are drunk because Lisa is wearing 
Johnny's Tie as a bandanna and he says he's wasted. Lisa takes 
advantage of the drunken Johnny and Awkward Sex Scene strikes back... 
Wait, Wiseau went Filmation and Reused the past Sex Scene.
Lisa invites her Mother for a surprise party for Johnny. So, she 
quickly decides to go Bad News Barrett on her daughter, because she 
definitely has breast cancer... Lisa decides to one-up her mother by 
lying about him getting drunk and hitting her. Her mother's reaction? 
"Johnny doesn't drink!" Seems that Lisa's mom is a sort of Gold Digger 
worried about his money and stuff. I mean, she's not worried about her 
"Future son-in-law" hitting her daughter. She's more worried about her 
financial safety.

OK, What the Hell!? No one locks the Door to Johnny's house. So does 
everyone in San Fransisco come in here as they please? Two folks went 
into his house to have sex. Guess what happens next:

a)Long awkward scene of awkward sex on Johnny's couch

b)They leave discretely and no one finds out what happened there.

c)Lisa and her mom show up catching them kinda in the middle of 
awkward sex

d)Denny shows up hoping to have sex with Lisa
The Correct answer is C... Lisa's mom goes Meta and asks what are 
these characters doing in here!? *I'm asking the same thing myself.

I WAS KIDDING ABOUT DENNY SHOWING UP!! So, Denny meets the woman he 
hopes to have as a Mother-in-law. Lisa's mom also asks exactly what 
I'm thinking. So Denny wanted some "Sugar" (could be sex with Lisa, 
could be cocaine, or it could be actual sugar) OK, it's actual sugar. 

He needs Flour and half a stick of butter... He leaves without the 
items (and terrified of Lisa's Mom) We find out that Creepy Denny is 
the Dick Grayson to Johnny's Bruce Wayne. Awkward Candy Sexer forgot 
his boxers and got caught BADLY!! Seriously, the people in this movie 
just come and go randomly...

Some dude is threatening Denny on the roof. Chris R the Drug Dealer! 
The dude has a gun and is threatening Denny, but Johnny and Mark come 
to the rescue. Lisa and her mom show up on the roof and begin to 
chastise Denny. Johnny and Mark magically appear, I'm confused!

So, Mark is on his bedroom and Lisa is on the phone...
I swear, the characters are just as confused as I am!

Another infamous scene comes up!

What a story Mark! Poor Johnny, he doesn't realize that Lisa is 
sleeping with Mark! Denny shows up again, but this time is to talk 
with Johnny. Denny is in love with Lisa, but Johnny takes it lightly. 

He actually gives Denny a nice piece of advice!
Now Denny loves some girl named Elizabeth... didn't he declare his 
love for Lisa a few seconds ago!? "Let's go eat huh!"

Lisa is going again with the "Drunk Johnny" Routine. This time the 
person she told is her friend. I think it's the one who was having sex 
with Boxers dude. She is shocked that Johnny hits Lisa, but is more 
shocked that Lisa won't marry Johnny. Lisa's friend makes some 
foreshadowing statements... OoOoOoh! 

Infamous Scene Warning... YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, LISA!! Pblgh WHAT 

Johnny and Boxer Guy discuss the whole Boxer Guy scene on a background 
straight out of Final Fight or Streets of Rage. Johnny is pretty laid 
back about two people entering his place and having sex on his couch!
Denny shows up with a football. They play catch before Mark shows up. 
Mark knocks Boxer Guy and takes him home.

Lisa's mom and Lisa have their usual discussion. Johnny's money. I gotta say
Lisa's mom has some huge brass balls. A friend of hers needs money for 
a down payment for a house and Johnny is not too keen on the idea. Lisa 
goes with the "I don't Love Him" routine and her mother leaves. Johnny 
will Record EVERYTHING!!! 

Some other dude (Peter) shows up and Johnny tells him about his 
suspicions regarding Lisa's unfaithfulness. "Oh Hai Mark!" They 
vaguely discuss women and Johnny is worried if Lisa's going to marry 
him or not. Wait, didn't you say that she was unfaithful a minute ago?
Johnny tells Mark, Peter and (us) the story of how he met Lisa. Speak 
of the She-Devil, Lisa appears... with Denny. Lisa flirts with Mark 
and Denny stares awkwardly.

Peter and Mark hang out on the roof until Mark tries to Kill 
Peter.Wait, I thought weed mellowed you out! Oh my gosh! The lines are 
so horrible! "Why do you want to know my secret!? You're right, it's 

They get their Tuxedos and they go and play catch... Which makes no 
sense in the real world... It doesn't even make sense in the movie, 
but they do it anyway. I think the actor playing Peter quit in that 
scene and Wiseau kept it.

Another infamous scene coming up!
They promise to jog together and Johnny leaves...

Mark and Lisa have awkward sex one more tme. I guess Tommy Wiseau gets 
off with awkward sex on Johnny's bed. Next day it's Jogging/Playing 
catch with Johnny on the Park.

Mark returns to see Lisa and she tries to have sex with Mark but Mark 
(thankfully) gets cock-blocked by Michelle (Boxer Guy's girlfriend) 
who seems to have subtly proposed for a threesome and Mark leaves.
Lisa's bitch level is over 9000!!!

Johnny and Mark are jogging again... The point of this scene was???

Johnny leaves to work and bumps with Lisa's mom. We get another "I 
don't love Johnny" speech from Lisa and a "You should Marry Johnny" 
speech from her mom. This is making Kojima's messages look subtle. 
Lisa's mom drops another bomb. This one is even bigger than the Cancer 
Bomb that went nowhere. She married Lisa's father for the money, not 
for love.

Johnny gets a Surprise Birthday Party. Peter is not there because the 
actor quit. We get a rather long shot of San Fransisco as nate as a 
transition shot for no reason at all. Boxer guy and Michelle begin 
foreplay but Lisa cock-blocks them. She then sneds everyone except 

Mark outside. She begins to make out with Mark but some dude comes in.

Random dude does Foreshadowing...

While everyone is outside, Johnny drops the bomb that they are 
expecting (which is a lie from Lisa). Random dude and Boxer Guy's 
girlfriend try to make her tell the truth, because they're worried 
about Johnny. So, Lisa shoves everyone back in.
Lisa slaps Mark then it's Blanka vs Ken!

I mean Johnny vs Mark... Now one scene later it's ROUND TWO, FIGHT!!
"I Fed up with dis worl!"

Lisa and her mother have one more chat and Claudette leaves.
Lisa and Johnny argue through the door. Wiseau delivers one hell of a 

She quickly calls Mark and they agree to meet up at Mark's. Finally 

Johnny comes out and brings up THE TAPE!! to hear the exact 
conversation we just heard. Lisa decides to leave Johnny. This leads 
to a Wiseau Tantrum with Flashbacks to make the transformation into 
the Incoherent Hulk more powerful. He finds the red dress from the 
beginning of the movie and humps it before tearing it up. Wait... 

Isn't that Chris R's gun!? Why does he have that!? Didn't they go with 
it and Chris R to the Police station!? That gun would be "Evidence" of 
a crime or something.

Johnny commits suicide. Mark and Lisa find the corpse. She asks him: 
"is he dead?" No, you dumbass, that pool of blood and brain matter is 
just corn syrup and Jell-O!! Mark leaves Lisa and blames her 
(rightfully) for Johnny's death.
Denny comes in and is shocked by Johnny's death. The End!

So, my thoughts on the movie... I mentioned that it's bad. I blame the writing. The notion that there are characters that come and go for no real reason, aside exposition, reeks of the script originally being written for a play. Notice how when there's more than two or three characters in a scene, there is always an excuse for the additional characters to leave. Like say, Boxer Guy and his girlfriend when Claudette and Lisa show up, or Johnny, Mark and Chris R when Claudette and Lisa show up.
then there's the overuse of Johnny's living room as a setting. I'm guessing this play was written with a very minimalist background in mind. Perhaps 2-3 props to refer to a change of location. The idea that it was written for stage could explain the weird concept of "football" that Wiseau has in the movie.

The movie is trying to give us a slice of life story, but this brings up too many unresolved plotlines or branches in the story. At the same time SOME of the characters/plotlines seem a bit too contrived to be a naturalistic story. (Most of the Denny plot elements come to mind.)

A LOT of the dialogue seems horrible and unnatural. (Made a lot worse by Tommy Wiseau's Weird accent and acting.) Just take another look at the Oh hai Doggy! clip up there!

It's badly written and even looking at it as a play, it has awkward pacing and it would require a MASSIVE REWRITE for it to work as a play or as a movie. It feels like a bunch of exercises from acting and directing classes put together in order to tell a story.
 The idea of a naive man's world falling apart from the betrayal of those who are closest to him IS one hell of a story... When told correctly, wehich this movie does not. Wiseau now claims that this movie is a "Dark Comedy", it is nawwt! He's trying to save face with the "Dark Comedy" when in reality he should accept that he made a horrible movie and try to improve himself. 

Do I Recommend this HORRIBLE movie?

YES! You need to see it at least once so you can know Unintentionally awful. There are parodies that are made awful on purpose (Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans, etc.) Then there's The Room. If you have seen it, you don't need to torture yourself. If I were to rate it on a scale of 1-10 where 1 is bad and 10 is good, I'd say a 2.5 (mostly because of the music. If it wasn't for the music this would get a 0.5) 

DC and WB are biting off more than they can chew...

They Finally gave up on calling Batffleck v. Superman Man of Steel 2... We know the Title Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice... Basically: Justice League: The Prequel. Here's the thing. DC/Warner Bros. Revealed their Movie plans... They're ripping off Marvel and kicking it a few notches.

May 2016: Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice
July 2016: Shazam (Captain Marvel)
Christmas 2016: The Sandman
May 2017: Justice League
July 2017: Wonder Woman
Christmas 2017: Flash and Green Lantern
May 2018: Man of Steel 2

4 years and 11 months... That will be the distance between Man of Steel and Man of Steel 2. Sure, we'll have BvS: DoJ and Justice League movies in between; but there is still a nearly 5 years gap between a movie and a sequel.
When you have such a huge gap between a movie and its sequel, the sequel tends to suck...
Does anyone remember Die Hard? How everything went down the crapper from Die Hard 3 to Live Free or Die Hard? How about from The Last Crusade to Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I think the sole exception to the rule would be from Rocky V to Rocky Balboa... Even Rambo couldn't save itself from the ultra cheesy John Rambo... (and the rumored sequel with Rambo against Super Soldiers or Werewolves thing)

This move by DC seems like it's copying Marvel's move with Paramount.

2010: Iron Man 2
2011: Thor
2011: Captain America: The First Avenger
2012: Avengers

2013: Iron Man 3
2013: Thor: the Dark World
2014: Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier
2014: Guardians of the Galaxy
2015: Avengers 2: Age of Ultron

Unlike Marvel's plan, the DC Plan bugs me a bit.
Tossing a Shazam! Movie and a Sandman Movies to the mix feels more like tossing everything to see what sticks approach. The sad part is that these two MAY NOT HAVE ANYTHING to do with the JLA movie. First WHICH Sandman are they going to use. Then There's the whole SHAZAM! thing... If JLA is going to be based on the Realistic Universe made by Christopher Nolan in his Dark Knight Trilogy, then a kid who can summon the wisdom of Solomon, the strength of Hercules, the stamina of Atlas, the power of Zeus, the courage of Achilles, and the speed of Mercury seems a bit too far-fetched.

UNLIKE Marvel who introduced the team BEFORE the Avengers by giving Each character a movie to develop the character (Mark Ruffalo's Bruce Banner being the exception, since the movies seem to change Banners as people change their underwear) Here we have Batman vs Superman with Cameos from Wonder Woman and others. Then Wonder Woman will get her movie AFTER Justice League. Followed by a Flash and Green Lantern movie... So, is Ryan Reynolds' POS Movie canon now? or are we going with two origin stories here? DC is trying to do in 3 years what Marvel has worked out for 6 years. When you bite off more than you can chew, you start to do crap. Remember Cannon Films?

Aside Sandman and Wonder Woman, I'm interested in the rest of DC's offerings. I am pleasantly surprised that the plans do not include any Bat-Shaped Crutches (aside JLA Prequel and JLA). I hope that the DC movies do not suck, but given their track record of non-bats or supes movies... I have little faith.

It's Friday, Friday, Baby Skeletor Sold out on Thursday!

It's Friday the 13th!! You know what that Means? No Pre-Marital Sex at camp...

Well, I was wrong about Early Access. It was on THOR'S DAY and not on Friday... I missed out on Baby Skeletor who sold out in less than an hour...

Of course, I'm calling Shenanigans. How could THAT sell all of its stock in less than an hour...
I don't buy it. Some folks claim that he truly did sell out... I wouldn't be surprised if they "find" a crate of them for SDCC...

But you know what else is Buzz Saw? The Matty Gift Certificates. They don't work on Early access, but apparently they also do not work when trying to buy stuff from the site.

Here's a post from He-Man.org telling the story of the uselessness of the Certificates.

I could have sworn that the Not working during Early Access thing was NOT on them when I ranted about them on December 2013.

Hopefully Mattel can solve this issue, because this royally sucks. Here we have people trying to be good friends/relatives buying these certificates so a friend or relative can buy Mattycollector Products and Surprise, the gift certificate doesn't work.

Jun 12, 2014

Live Action Beauty and The Beast with K-Stew!? Aww Hell Naw!

Really? Bill Condon (His last name is the Spanish word for Condom) wants the Female Keanu Reeves as Belle...

I honestly don't see K-Stew playing Belle... Then again, I never saw her as Snow White either.

Hopefully she will pass this role or the Disney Execs put a stop to it... I'm not a fan of her... or cardboard being more emotive than her on screen. If she is chosen as Belle, I shall avoid this movie like the plague...

Some of K-Stew's best acting yet...

OK, all jokes aside, I just don't see Kristen Stewart as Belle. Maybe in a Parody, but not on a serious movie... I'm still trying to forget Snow White and the Huntsman. While we're at it, why not cast Tommy Wiseau as the Beast? I blame Angelina Jolie and her Maleficent for this!!

Jun 10, 2014

Lion King Spin-Off? They're doing a Son of Simba show... Really!?

But... What about Neve Campbell: Simba's Daughter? A Background Character? Her younger Brother? Has a Tattoo and a Mohawk? It's like The Lion King Meets the Avengers? What is Disney Smoking?

I just don't know how to start this aside WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS!?
Seriously, a Lion King Spin-Off where Simba's "Radical and XTREEEEM!" son (cause he has a tat and a Mohawk)  and his team of Pride Lands animals fight to save the Pride Lands from... uh, Pretty Tame stuff because the show will be on Disney Junior. This team is called: the Lion Guard... So far it seems to have only ONE Lion... There's a Honey Badger, a Cheetah, a Hippo, and There's also Ygritte  I mean an Egret... Videos involve real animal counterparts of The Lion Guard... Viewer Discretion is adviced.

I wonder if this will be pretty much a Sofia the First but for boys. Since this is a Son of Simba Show, I guess Simba will be a background character... I hope my Favorite Talking Arm gets to voice Simba once again!

Here's the thing: The only thing that I don't dig from this whole thing... Aside the XTREEM! Kion Ling: Son of Simba, or the Avengimals Assemble thing is: It'll be on Disney Junior. So, We won't see Gargoyles level of action here.

Wonder if we'll have some drama from the Kimba People.

Jun 9, 2014

Hoo boy! Mattel keeps making MOTU look racist!!

I kinda mocked them SJWs when I made the He-Man and the Masters of Racism rant by trying to overplay things that seemed racist in MOTU and SJWhined the heck out of them. Mattel answered a Q&A from He-Man.org and here's the question that made me raise my eybrow:

5. Shokoti's Slave: Is Randor the king of the entire planet of Eternia, ruling over other lands and monarchs? Or just the kingdom of Eternos?

Randor is the King over all of the Light Hemisphere. Other lands do have lords or "rulers" like Stratos who commands Avion but is loyal to Randor in Eternos.

Mattel's answer is the part in bold (I did not need to enhance it.)

 The Qadians, the Andreenids, the Avionians, the Gar (if there are any on Anwat Gar), the Pellezeeans, the Kulataks, all of those "sub-human creatures" bend the knee to the Caucasian King Randor. They can have lords, rulers or chiefs, but the one True King is the Burger King Look-alike!

That is what makes this a bit disturbing. But this whole One King who rules Multiple Kingdoms seems a bit Familiar.

I mean even if we look at Earth Kingdoms we see that in Europe there were Multiple Kingdoms. Why mot apply this Logic to Eternia. It would make a lot of sense having the Different species having their own kingdoms. The Qadians have their kingdom, as well as Randor and the Avionians, to name a few.

While Randor still has the Lion's share of the land, (that can be blamed on Randor being the King of the "Men" in the Light Hemisphere.) he isn't the sole ruler in the Light Hemisphere.

With Multiple Kingdoms we have a reason for Randor to be Diplomatic with the other Species.  It gives us a reason on why he would have to convince them to form an alliance against Skeletor, the Horde and the Snakemen. Not to mention a Reason for Adam to keep the He-Man identity a secret.

Also, It seems a bit evil that Randor would RULE ALL OF ETERNIA (at least the Light Hemisphere). I'd expect that out of Hordak or Skeletor, not Randor. This is why I hate it when Mattel's "Q&A Team" pulls answers out of their ass.

So, back to racism... Having the White Male ruling over everything makes Randor seem a bit like a white supremacist... (Looking at his Special Army we can see why we can make that connection)
If Randor rules all; there is no need for diplomacy. Randor can act despotically and force his subordinates to battle Skeletor. The only good thing that could come about a Supreme Ruler Randor involves rebellion from the other provinces... Wait, that sounds like straight out of an incomplete GRRM Series of Books...

Jun 8, 2014

Spidey Statue Spidey Statue... Your Raging Erection called for your Destruction?

So, Korea... It gave us Tae Kwon Do, Gangnam Style and a Spider-Man Statue was erected on a Mall, overlooking the Play/rest Area. One Big Problem was the Tent on Parker's Tights.

(Seems appropriate bgm for this rant.)
 I'm resisting urges to fill this rant with pics of Black Cat Cosplay...
So, I'm posting a pic of a dead Gwen Stacy to help Spidey kill that boner.

Now here's the thing: It took them almost a year to notice the boner and take it off!?

Some of the complaints regarding the infamous Spider-Boner include the whole "Spider-Man is a Children's Character"... Who did a LITERAL DEAL WITH THE DEVIL to fix some of his mistakes and undo his marriage to super model Mary Jane Watson. Next to the whole Making a Deal with the Devil, an erection seems like nothing.
 I'd be a lot more worried if the character sporting an Erection had been Hal Jordan... (He has a thing for young girls... OK it was ONE Girl... or Two.)

It's simply an erection. They tend to happen at awkward times to young, healthy males without any Erectile Dysfunction. Besides, Spidey and his Spider-Boner were not in reach of the public.
It's not like the Spidey was put for the public to interact with as we've seen people do with the Infamous Ronald on a Bench pics.
This was the safest Ronald Pic I found.
In any case, the "offensive" statue was taken down and the mall will no longer have a Spider-Woody looking down on people.

Jun 7, 2014

Hordak BS and I'm talking about Buzz Saw... and the other BS.

So, while the idea that Buzz Saw Hordak may show up between 2014 and 2015 is not far-fetched. (See the whole Completing the Original Line in Classics game plan) The question is DO WE TRULY NEED a FIFTH Hordak Variant with very little differences to the Original?
There are Two Differences between Buzz Saw Hordak and Normal Hordak:
Action Feature and Belt. Since Action Features are a no go, then all this Hordak would get is a Different Belt.

Yippee!! Catra Variants are highly unlikely (We totally need at least 1 Catra variant based on her toy looks with no Horde Insignia) but a fourth Hordak Variant with LITTLE Differences to Standard Hordak is A-OK... WHAT THE *Expletive Deleted*!?

Since We have to stick to the "classics style" Buzz Saw Hordak would be redundant. Here is where I WISH that Mattel would allow the FourHorsemen to go wild. Or at least do what Mattel did not do With Filmation Hordak: Make Buzz Saw Hordak DIFFERENT ENOUGH from past Hordaks to make him Worthwhile. Mattel NEEDS to move Heaven and Earth in order to add stuff to this Hordak to make him worthwhile. I'd start with a head: Filmation Style. I'd make a more Filmation-Like "Half" Armor to match the Normal Hordak Armor so Filmation Fans could switch armors with the BS Hordak to make a Filmation Accurate Hordak.

Where does that leave the Buzz Saw "feature"?
The solution might be simpler than you think. The addition of an extra piece that slips under the normal armor and can hold the Buzz Saw as well.
The image may seem a bit inappropriate due to the clipper's position, but the principle is the same. I used the clipper since it was heavy enough. It's almost a Bubble Power She-Ra or Snake Man-at-Arms scenario. Mixing and matching between two Hordaks to more or less get what you need.

So this First Idea to make BS Hordak be 20% Cooler requires:
New Head
New Armor
New Flap for the Buzz Saw as explained
New Buzz Saw
New BS Hordak Accurate Loincloth (Worst Case Scenario: Reuse Mosquitor's)
5 New Pieces.

Option 2: Is to "Classicize" the 200X Look and add the Buzz Saw Flap to that armor.
That would still require:
New 200X  Head
New Armor
New Cowl
New Loincloth
New Buzz Saw
5 New Parts.

The Third Option would be El-Mega-Cheapo Option to make him look different:
Techno Virus the *expletive deleted* out of Hordak. I'm talking Roboto Shoulders and biceps
Intergalactic Skeletor Thighs, Horde Trooper Torso... The works.
Here he's only need:
New Torso Armor
New Buzz Saw
New Filmation head. (If Hordak's looking more robotic, then the robotic Filmation head would be a nice bonus)
New Loincloth
Now we have 4 new pieces, but the differences are worthwhile. Better than what we're likely to get.

What I expect to get:
Same old Hordak, but with the following new pieces:
New Armor
New Buzz Saw
If we're lucky, New Belt.

I honestly think that if Mattel had combined Buzz Saw with Filmation Hordak from the beginning we wouldn't be in this conundrum. Right now this figure screams Wasted slot when we have 5 Vintage variants left (including him) We have Multibot missing and possibly some steeds. (Clawdeen, Mantisaur, Stridor, Nightstalker, or Sagitar come to mind) Worst Case Scenario, I'd love to get the Buzz Saw Armor and saw as an extra with another figure.

Jun 5, 2014

Baby Skeletor Follow up... now with more Robot Chicken

Look at this!

The Robot Chicken guys DID work with ♠ to make this thing happen... Baby Skeletor was going to be in-scale with MOTUC, but DAMN YOU SETH GREEN, DAMN YOU TO HELL!!

We could have gotten a Baby Buck... With it all that Mattel would have had to do is make new heads for Baby Adam and Baby Adora. Hell: Horde Trooper Buck, new Filmation Hordak head, The Baby Adora and we could have had an amazing exclusive. Toss in a Skeletor with a Red Horde Armor with Purple bat and a Baby Adam and we'd have the perfect set. Horde Apprentice Skeletor and Baby Snatching Hordak... All of this would have been possible IF we had gotten that infamous Baby Buck... But noooooooooo! Seth Green wanted to cuddle and carry a Baby Skeletor... Well

So, this confirms that this is a Robot Chicken item... After dumping Multiple Mo-Larr sets through Black Friday sales, Cyber Monday Sales, the Blind Box packs, Hell even dumping the excess stock through Big Lots! and Mattel still thinks that doing another MOTU/Robot Chicken crossover is a great idea!?

The video seemed like a little fluff piece from Mattel, trying to make this thing more appealing to fans. Time will tell if this will be a failure or a victory for Mattel.

Here's a video that will make my thoughts on Baby Skeletor clear for the TL;DR crew:

The Post Pick your Pebbles Campaign is Racist.

I've seen a few of the recent Pick your Pebbles ads and all I could think was:
That's Racist, yo!

Look at the Campaign:
John Cena, a white man who dresses in a rainbow of colors is the Captain of Team Fruity Pebbles. Wait, didn't the whole John Cena Fruity Pebbles thing started as a homophobic remark by The Rock?
Kyrie Irving, a black man is the Captain of Team Fruity Pebbles.

Does anyone see what the HELL IS WRONG HERE!?

Look at the ads. Pay special attention to the moment when the captain of the opposing team shows up.
When Cena pops up at Kyrie Irving's ad. Irving looks at him like:
Dude! What the Hell!? I'm in the middle of a commercial here!"
When Irving pops up at Cena's ad; Cena tries to stomp him out of the screen. If I put on my Social Justice Warrior Plaid Shirt and Glasses without lenses, I'd call this Fruity Pebbles ad a "Hate Crime in the making". Guess which of these ads gets aired more often. I'll give you a hint: The one with the Hate Crime ending.

Did no one looked at these and thought:

Hey, these ads seem a bit racist. Shouldn't we rethink this strategy?

These ads are racist and I'm talking Zordon levels of racist here:

Jun 4, 2014

It's Official: George R.R. Martin has completely lost his mind.

I guess he's the only one who believes that he will end the 6th and 7th book Before HBO catches up to him. I FINALLY finished A Dance with Dragons which took me a LOT of EFFORT TO READ since it felt more like a chore than something out of passion. (The fact that the book felt like filler did not help)
I know this feels like a retread of the Stark Children are growing rant. I'm only pointing it out because EVEN HIS EDITOR believes that seven books may not be enough... Then again, 4 and 5 were supposed to be one book...

I know that I'm retreading again, so I'll quote myself.
He's had nearly 20 years to finish the series (the first book was Published in 1996) The HBO Series began filming in 2010... 2010-1996=14 so he's had plenty of time to finish

Seriously, GRRM must be the King of Procrastination. He should be careful. In Westeros the kings drop like flies!

Seeing comments such as:
I'm glad to see he managed to find time from not writing Winds of Winter to continue not writing it...

Kinda tell the story on how fans perceive GRRM.

Good to know that GRRM has also time to do voiceovers...

I know it sounds whiny, but I'm afraid every time I see GRRM's mug on a news article it will say that he has died. I know that rushing IS bad, but leaving the series unfinished is worse.
Basically this is the A Dance With Dragons rant of the whole Song of Ice and Fire rants...
A bunch of words and nothing really happened. I may forget the plot of the previous books by the time The Winds of Winter shows up.

Wait... Is Hasbro trying to outdo Mattel with the WTF Items?

I bitched about Baby Skeletor... I praised Hasbro for their Marvel Exclusives (even if the infinity Gauntlet set is a bit too Expensive). Hasbro feeling left behind and wanting me to rant about them, released info on their Transformers SDCC Exclusive.

Having a little background music will help...
Transformers: Unicron Knights.
Take Optimus Prime, Jazz, Soundwave and Megatron. Reimagine them as an 80s hair metal band.
The same ones that have been released already in the $12-$15 range. The Soundwave and Megatron, I already reviewed. The only cool additions are Keytar Ratbat and Guitar Laserbeak.
They also get tassels, mullets and hairband paintjobs... All for the small pricetag of $185 Plus taxes. there are some posters and other crap, but really? $185 for $60 worth in Transformers?

Even if it was $60, it's a Hasbro SDCC Exclusive, which means I can't get it...

Jun 3, 2014

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Glittery Sunscreen.



Yes, boys and girls, Cedric Diggory is (very likely to become) your new Indiana Jones.

I have nothing Personally against Twilight's Sparkle boy to be a "Young Indiana Jones". It's a lot better than having the nononono idiot carrying the torch of Indy's Legacy. It's just that they should let Indiana Jones rest for 10 more years before rebooting.

This is why The Last Crusade should have stayed the Last Indiana Jones Movie.

Is this a way to add some "young Indiana Jones adventures" and keeping the 3 real Indiana Jones movies relevant? No, Kingdom of Crappy Aliens and Shia the Ape never happened.

Is this a way to "reboot the Franchise" and have different adventures instead of Remaking Raiders of the Lost Ark? Perhaps justifying the differences in Cast based on who is telling or reading the stories of Dr. Henry Jones Junior?

Pattinson is a decent actor. He just happened to do 5 movies about Poisonous Faeries. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I mean Harrison Ford is a bit too old to be running around and whipping Russian Communists... It's not the same without the Nazis... Maybe that's the reason for the change in cast.

He may not be the worst choice, but so far he seems the most controversial one because Twilight.