Oct 3, 2012

Mirror Mirror on the back...

Kristen Stewart prettier than Charlize Theron? Man, you on crack!

This is a review for Snow White and the Huntsman. There will be spoilers to a movie based on a Fairy Tale that many should know already... I wasn't feeling well today so as I was laying down on my bed I popped this movie and I'm not sure if it's the fever talking, but Kristen Stewart was a LOT better than I expected. She could possibly do a decent Teela... Yes, I just said that. Cause that's what I thought after watching this movie. (but then again, it could be the fever talking)

So, this is basically a retelling of Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs...
K-Stew is Snow White, Charlize Theron is the evil Queen, the Huntsman is Chris Hemsworth. I actually feared this movie...
Mandatory K-stew = One Trick Pony joke
 She managed to surprise me. She had 1.5 more expressions than Normal (not sure if real or CGI). also Whiny Charlize Theron was the best thing from this movie.
The Mighty Huntsman did not disappoint... Although I fear he might end up being type-cast into Thor-Like roles... Mental note: Do not suggest him to hold aloft a Magic Sword.

So this is the Same old Snow White Story, but made a bit grittier and "realistic". We now have a background story for the evil queen. (who has a brother that sports a Page Boy cut... Something that we should keep as far away as possible from a certain man who has the power) She takes over and keeps Snow White as her Prisoner (Younger Snow White was a lot better character, far more range than K-Stew)
so, now that we got K-Stew as Snow White, she's escaped her captors (Charlize Theron and her Page Boy brother)So, we've got the Huntsman tossed into this story. We meet the Dwarfs who are not real dwarfs, but full-sized actors that are SFX'd as Dwarfs...
One of the dwarfs really needed one of these...
Man, Power Mushrooms look really creepy IRL
Yes, Bob Hoskins is one of the Dwarfs... There is a nod to Miyazaki and then we followed the story.
This is a nice picture of K-Stew and Robert Pattinson...
OK, the joke doesn't work in English, but google cornuto and you might get it!


K-Stew + Weird Pale creatures that sparkle in the sunlight...
Where have I seen that before?
OK, I'll stop with the Twilight jokes... Now the whole Snow White thing plays out, the Dwarfs help her, the Evil Queen tricks her with an Apple. She dies, a kiss revives her... Now, K-Stew grew balls, rallied troops and went all LOTR or Narnia and stormed the castle...

What, It took me a lot of time to do a reference to THIS Snow White...
OK, so we've arrived to the final Battle: Teela vs Evil Lyn... Come on! You knew this was inevitable! I already referenced Teela, it was to be expected an Evil Lyn Reference since Charlize Theron is playing an
evil witch...
The next step is to pelt her with Applejacks or Honey Nut Cheerios
Maybe also some mmm... bananas!
Obviously, since this is based on Snow White, you can guess who won. Now you're asking yourself: "when is Nefty going to do the ratings, cause he didn't do it on Avengers." I'm NOT going to go with a scale like I do toys.
Now, I must admit that the film had some flaws. the pacing is a bit awkward when we get to K-Stew until we meet the Dwarfs. Kristen Stewart gets to do more in here than most of the Twi-movies, she shows a bit more range in her acting... but at times she reverts to the "Wooden Bella" mode... Doubly funny when in the forest. Charlize Theron and Chris Hemsworth are the two that carry this film.
If I were to rate it I'd say a 6.5 out of 10! (But your mileage may vary...) I was expecting something a LOT worse...

My final thought: Kristen Stewart is NOT prettier than Charlize Theron... That's asking for too much suspension of disbelief!

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